When The Time Comes
by VisualIDentificationZeta
Summary: SUMMARY: a completely unexpected and potentially tragic event just a week or two before little AJ's fifth birthday puts a new spin on the world of the JAG HQ
1. Chapter 1

TITLE: When The Time Comes...

AUTHOR: Vid z.

PAIRING: Harm/Jen

TIMELINE. April 2004, a week or two before AJ's fifth birthday

DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc of the TV show JAG are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author of this fic. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

AUTHOR'S NOTES: this will be my last fic. I'm leaving for Aubagne (France, obviously) in two weeks to join the French Foreign Legion. Originally this fic was meant as a one-shot, but got too big as I wrote it and had to cut it down to several chapters.

SUMMARY: a completely unexpected and potentially tragic event just a week or two before little AJ's fifth birthday puts a new spin on the world of the JAG HQ

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Jen frowned as she rubbed her lower back, it had been hurting her all morning, ever since she'd woken up. She didn't know what was wrong, but she sincerely hoped it would go away soon. Back pain is not as painful as some others can be, for example stomach pain or headaches, but can be more irritating and annoying, not to mention persistent.

She felt her stomach twitch at the lack of food and she subtly ran a hand down her flat, muscular abdomen, as if that would sooth the empty organ. It had been more than 17 hours since she'd last eaten and it was catching up to her.

She never ate after 2000 hours, the fact half (the other half being regular exercise) responsible for her lovely hourglass figure and washboard flat stomach, not to mention her tiny waist, long strong legs and the fact that she was always clinging to the lower edge of her window of the Navy's weight-to-height requirements, being almost too light.

Her full bladder was beginning to hurt from being over-filled and she promised herself to immediately go to the bathroom as soon as she did that last one errand.

She was on her way to LtCol Mackenzie's office to deliver a case file when she felt something tear inside her body. She froze in fear, hundreds of horrible causes going through her mind as to what might've gone wrong inside her body.

The next second she felt something warm and wet flow down her legs and, her face flaming in embarrassement, she looked downwards past her flat belly at the growing puddle beneath her feet.

' Oh, God, I can't believe this. How could this happen!? And in the middle of the bullpen! ' she thought with mortification over losing control over her bladder, at her young age, and that in the middle of the bullpen.

That thought was however forgotten when a blinding pain rolled through her body.

Unprepared for it, her knees buckled from the agony and she cried out sharply, grabbing at her abdomen, scattering the documents she'd held all over the floor and bringing the attention of others to herself.

She managed to crawl out of the wet spot before curling into fetal position on her side and just whimpering through the pain.

The staff surrounded her, not knowing what to do. She heard office door slam as they were opened violently and then running, heavy footsteps, heavy enough for only a man to be capable of producing, hurrying towards her.

The next second Harm's face popped into view among the tears filling her eyes from the pain as he knelt down next to her, just as the Admiral came rushing out of his office. "What's wrong?"

Harm propped Jen up against his body tenderly and she looked up at him, eyes cloudy through the jack-knives stabbing at her. "Hurts." she whimpered. "Think... my bladder... ruptured... Felt it tear... before..." she couldn't finish and tears of humiliation joined the tears of pain as she looked away.

"Her bladder rupture for some reason, sir." Harm said wild-eyed in anxiety, already standing up, gently lifting her into his arms. "I'm taking her to Bethesda."

"I'll call the ambulance." suggested the Admiral, turning towards the nearest phone, but was rudely interrupted by Harm before he could do so.

"Screw the ambulance, I'll be there faster taking my car." then, noticing just what he'd said and to whom, he was horrified. "Sorry, sir."

"It's okay, CDR, just go!"

"Yes, sir." Harm nodded and carried Jen off easily, as if she was weighing nothing, ignoring the looks and whispers of others.

Bypassing the elevator knowing it would take too long he took the stairs, helpless of doing anything more than murmur soothing words to Jen when the pain gripped her again.

He was terrified. He didn't know of anyone surviving a ruptured bladder and the reality of the situation was revealing itself to him with frightening implications.

He just hoped he wouldn't be getting Jen to Bethesda just to deliver her to the morgue.

He honestly didn't know if he would survive it emotionally and mentally if she died. The young woman had done so much good for him, was his only remaining friend and support, emotionally and mentally, he had gotten so attached to her that he knew her possible death would have long-lasting, acute consequences for him, his sanity and well-being, if not breaking him outright. After having lost so many people he'd loved during his life, from lovers to friends and family, and having had to recover and start again so many times from those losses, he was not sure he'd be able to recover from this loss as well.

He just didn't have the strength and the fortitude anymore, all having been used up for those previous recoveries.

And in that moment he was getting the idea of what someone had meant when they'd said they would rather die than live without someone.

He just hoped he wouldn't have to find out for real.

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REVIEW!


	2. Chapter 2

Now I feel like a jerk. I wanted to find out how many people read the ANs in the fic's head and for that I needed a shocker, something that would provoke people into a response. Your responses warmed my heart. I would like to thank you all for making my life so much nicer to live and for wishing me good luck. I'm not going anywhere, for now. So that you wouldn't think I'm pulling your leg again I'll just say this for months beforehand. I'm currently engaged in the process of paperwok to be part of a 6 month student exchange program within the Erasmus program. Nothing has been finalised yet, neither have I received any conformations, but there is a good chance I'll be going away in March next year. I'm excited and very nervous. If nothing changes and nothing big happens of course.

Thanks again.

This part is criminally short because I couldn't stretch it and because melting it with the next one would ruin the effect and drama.

Take care and don't forget to review!

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Putting Jen into the passenger seat he was grateful he'd taken the 'Vette today. It was much faster than the Lexus and had better handling and road stability, but it was also more cramped, meaning less room for her. Quickly closing the door he ran around the car and got in, turning to the suffering Petty Officer.

"Just hold on, Jen, I'll have you there ASAP."

Pulling out of the parking spot with a cloud of burning rubber he was gratified to see the exit/entrance ramp up, knowing the Admiral had called ahead and alerted the guards to let him pass without stopping.

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Harm drove faster than he ever had before, handling his vehicle with the competence of someone used to having a fast, powerful machine under his control. He was infinitely glad he didn't encounter a cop or a speed trap because that would just slow him down and he had to get Jen to Bethesda ASAP.

Would someone ask him in the coming years about that drive he wouldn't be capable of remembering a single thing, the anxiety, terror and Jen's screams and moans having melted it into a nightmare. He couldn't remember a single second until he stopped by the entrance ramp of the hospital's premises to get the guard to let them through.

Only when he'd go home from the hospital for the first time would he realize the urgent need to replace the rear tires for they had been burned almost to the quick.

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Pulling into the emergency bay of the National Naval Medical Center, known as Bethesda Naval Hospital, Harm left four black trails on the pavement as he skidded the car to a stop, using the handbreak to turn Jen's side towards the entrance.

Ignoring the trigger-happy guard who was already fingering his trigger Harm hollered as loud as he could while he was carefully and gently pulling Jen out of his small car and into his arms. "I NEED HELP!!"

Within seconds corpsmen and medics swarmed upon him, dragging a wheeled stretcher behind them.

He left the car standing there, keys still in the ignition and the engine running as he followed them, telling them what he could of Jen's condition and medical history.

He was stopped by a guard who demanded he move his vehicle because it blocked the ER entrance for the ambulances.

Harm complied, knowing he should, while his every instinct was screaming to go after Jen, and returned to his car, which was still idling.

He cringed, such a mistake as leaving an engine of an unlocked car running would've cost him that car had he gone to a civilian hospital. Only the fact that this was a military hospital with armed guards everywhere, and most especially at the entrance, did he have to thank for the fact that he still had his precious Vette.

Finding a parking space near the entrance he hurried back.

Just in time to meet the attending ER doctor to tell him where they had stashed the young pretty Yeoman.

As he walked towards the doctor Harm's heart sank at the seriousness on the old man's face and he mentally tried to prepare himself to hear the news about Jen having died on the table.

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	3. Chapter 3

I was blown away by your reviews, they definitely made my week. Sorry for not updating sooner, but we've been having some seriously lovely weather here (after a summer and September full of heavy clouds and rain and cold) and I spent as much time as I still can on my bike. Which also means I now have infected tearducts because the helmet's visor is too scratched and I have to keep it flipped up, which means the wind is constantly buffeting my eyes, even with the sunglasses. That's why I'm having a break from riding for a few days (while trying to ignore the fuel costs for it, thankfully the bike at 75 HP only uses 4,5 liters per 100 kilometers) and am updating this thing.

Okay, first off I'd like you all to know that while I never witnessed medical intervention Jen underwent first hand, I DID download a very graphic and detailed medical instructional video off the net. It was gruesome. Imagine Saving Private Ryan and Black Hawk Down put together and then multiplied. Blood and gore and I definitely lost my apetite for the entire day. Therefore beware that in this part there are explicit words for non-sexual bodily fluids and no-graphic-descriptions-but-still-no-innocent-references to invasive and painful medical procedures mentioned. It's not bad enough for an M rating, so it gets a T. Btw., DON'T read while eating, drinking or anything else like that.

Btw., I'm upgrading this fic to T rating and a different category to correspond to the fic's direction.

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Four hours later a worried, grouchy JAG finally received the phone call he'd been awaiting anxiously. The tragedy to have befallen his yeoman had somehow managed to break the old man out of being the complete jack-ass he'd been for the past one year and now he was worried about one of his own in more than a year. Not being used to care about anyone but himself anymore had consequences, meaning, he didn't know how to handle it. Which lead to him being an even jerk, barking at everyone and just making himself a pain in the ass of the honest working class of the office.. Obviously, he was getting on his staff's last nerve and some of them were even beginning to contemplate mutiny. An hour more of his behaviour and the Admiral would've been facing his own little HMS Bounty.

The personnel was alerted to the phone call only when they heard a loud shout coming from the office. What the loyal Commander was reporting to him was definitely not what the Admiral had expected.

"SHE WAS WHAT!!" roared the Admiral.

"Pregnant, sir." answered Harm, baffled himself.

"How the hell could she be pregnant with no-one noticing!? One can notice these things and the Petty Officer didn't look pregnant. Sure, she had put on a little weight, but she definitely didn't look pregnant. How could she have been pregnant without even showing?" ranted the old man.

"I don't know, sir." Harm shook his head, forgetting the Admiral couldn't see it. "Apparently it's possible. The Doctor assured me there are known cases of women not knowing they're pregnant, not even showing, suddenly giving birth. He himself had had two cases such as these before."

"Wait." the bald man paused. "You actually trying to tell me she didn't know!?" his voice raised on the last few words.

"Aye, sir."

The Admiral was silent for a few seconds, processing the information.

"So, what was that in the bullpen?"

Harm sighed uncomfortably. "That was her water breaking and contractions starting. The doctor also said that one of the reasons the pregnancy wasn't discovered was because she had so little of the birth water, making the belly smaller and her womb is introverted, masking it's growth even further, and pushed unusually upwards near the ribcage. According to him it's a wonder the baby is even healthy, but even though it's small and under-weight it _is _completely healthy. Apparently it has great genes."

There was silence on the other side of the line, before being abruptly broken. "I'll be right there." said the gruff voice before hanging up.

Harm sighed and ran his hand down his face wearily, exhausted from the events of the past few hours, then closed the phone and turned around to get back to Jen's room, scratching his head along the way at how it could be possible. The memory of the last few hours still gave him chills.

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He had just entered the ER waiting room, having parked the car, when the Doctor had told a surprised Harm that Jen didn't have a ruptured bladder, but was in fact in labor. And it was supposedly progressing quite quickly. They rushed her to Labor & Delivery where a frazzled, stil stunned and flustered Harm was outfitted with scrubs and ordered to get changed. Jen was demanding he be there, he being the only familiar person there. Besides, she needed someone's hand to squeeze and possibly break and the doctor sure wasn't going to lend his own...

And so it happened that Harm was for the third time in his life a witness to the birth of a brand new human.

He was less than impressed, actually.

People make it into such a spiritual, miraculous, meaningful experience that anyone who'd been witness to it should feel blessed, but the reality is quite different.

Childbirth is messy, extremely messy. There's nothing miraculous or poetic or romantic or wonderful or beautiful about it. It's messy, it's bloody, it's terrifying, it's smelly, it's painful, basically it's a basic biologic process that has nothing miraculous or romantic about it and it made Harm decide he'd never be there for another no matter what, even if his wife (IF he'd ever have one) was the one giving birth. Men a few generations back had the right idea, he'd decided, namely sitting outside the room, drinking burboun and smoking cigars, waiting for it to be over and only then entering.

He was sure he'd been traumatised for life.

Harm had had to see things he was sure had scarred his psyche and after seeing what the baby did to the porthole it squeezed out of Harm wasn't sure he would ever be capable of making love to a woman again, that sight would doubtlessly haunt him for years. It had definitely de-eroticised that area of the female anatomy for him. He wondered how long would it be until he'd think of that part of female reproductive system and not remember this experience, but become turned on. In his opinion it would be a long time.

Then there was the blood, a lot of blood, and urine. He was thankful that he hadn't had the horror to see it this time, but from what he'd been told excretion of feces during labor and delivery isn't that unknown either. Then there was the fact that he could still clearly hear in his ears the doctor ordering the nurse to cut the walls of Jen's vagina open, to widen the exit for the baby and the sounds of flesh tearing as she did so. He barely held himself back from physically stopping her from hurting Jen even more.

But sticking in his mind most of all was the sight of Jen in pain, red in the face from the struggle, sweating, crying, screaming, cursing and overall trying to break his arm. She probably thought that if she had to suffer than he had to as well, even though he was only an innocent bystander.

No doubt it would take a while before he'd get over the vocabulary Jen, the shy, quiet, polite, gentle, sweet, tender and warm Jen had picked up in the Navy.

No doubt it would also take him a while before he'd forget all the threats Jen had thrown at men, which meant Harm as well, the ways she had come up with and announced for the world to hear she would castrate every man crossing her way, starting with Harm since he was the closest, physically and emotionally. He had already called up a sports goods store and ordered a jockstrap and protective cup in his size. Unfortunately for him and his crown jewels there was no way to insure Jen not going through with the threats after-hours since she was his neighbor. It meant he'd have to wear the cup at all times, even in sleep. It would be terribly uncomfortable, but that way he had at least some protection if she decided on following through with the "rusty spoon" idea.

The assurances of the doctor and the nurses that all women threaten their men and that this kind of threats are mostly empty and made in the heat and pain of the moment, when a woman hates every man on Earth, ignoring that she herself had gotten herself into that situation by having sex with a man, hadn't assured him at all.

See, Harm was a lawyer and he had clearly heard the word 'mostly' and he knew what that qualifier meant. It meant there was still a percentage of occasions when the woman _did_ follow through with the threat and after having seen this side of Jen he wasn't sure he bought the shy, sweet and gentle act anymore.

The look of rage and hate burning in her eyes when the contractions hit was imprinted on his brain and the last thing he'd wanted was to stick around.

Not that he'd had any choice in the matter, of course, for Jen had had such a strong grip on his hand as contractions ripped through her body, that the only way he could've gotten away was by ripping his own arm off.

Then there was the baby... you'd think newborns are as they are shown on TV, in the lifetime movies, or whatever they're called, namely chick flicks, completely dry, pink and cute.

WRONG!

The baby that had been pulled out of Jen against it's will (and it was definitely protesting very vehemently and loudly) had been blue (he still couldn't get over that fact), wrinkled, smelly, bloody, loud (can't forget that) and, plainly and truthfully put, ugly.

How that was possible Harm still couldn't grasp because Jennifer Coates was the epitome of female beauty and femininity, Harm had never met a person as beautiful as Jen was both inside and outside. Had the kid received only the unknown father's genes?

That was also something Harm was deliberately avoiding thinking about. Jen had had sex with some unknown man 9 months ago and had gotten pregnant by him. Which he couldn't understand, because he knew Jen didn't sleep around, she was not that kind of woman. She was his best friend and because of their living arrangements and the fact that they'd gotten so close, sharing custody of Mattie, effectively raising the young girl together, he felt slightly possessive of her and it bothered him that another man had touched her sexually and that that unknown man had been the one to cause the permanent chemical, physical, hormonal, emotional and mental changes in her body that the woman's first pregnancy launches.

He wasn't madly in love with her, but that didn't mean she wasn't precious to him and that didn't mean he wasn't hurt she'd been involved with some other man and hadn't told him about it. He'd thought they'd told each other everything and trusted each other completely. Apparently he'd been wrong and that knowledge was causing an immense pain in his heart.

Seeing her laying there with the kid in her arms Harm felt a strange squeezing in his heart. She was beautiful. Sure, the kid was ugly and Jen was soaked with all kinds of bodily fluids and exhausted, but the scene was beautiful.

Jen had accepted the infant hesitantly, still not having sunk in that she was a mother now and was holding him stiffly, unsure whether she was holding him correctly and unsure whether she even wanted him.

Harm didn't blame her one bit, because were he in her position he was sure he would be feeling the same. To go from a single woman with no worry, past paying the bills, to a mother and an unwed one at that, in the span of hours was nothing to sneeze at. From the first second he'd seen her in the delivery room Harm knew Jen was running on autopilot, her brain having turned off as a safety precaution to avoid short-fusing. Harm was sure the shock would wear off in the next few days and the aftermath would no doubt be dramatic.

But whether she knew or wanted, Harm could tell she already loved her baby, this biological safety-switch all species have having been turned on.

He didn't know how he felt about the kid and it's existence (but more importantly parentage) himself, but he knew already life would never be the same again. Jen's life had changed permanently and had brought Harm's along for the ride. With how closely his and Jen's lives were intertwined through Mattie, JAG and their living situation he had no doubt his life as well would see some major changed very soon and would never be the same again.

There was no way he wouldn't be babysitting for her occasionally or make runs to the store for diapers or take the kid for his check-up when Jen wouldn't be able to or anything else. He owed her, she'd done so much for him, was always there for him, always without question and always ready to help, but that's not the entire reason why he would help her with the kid and everything, but because she was his friend and with the way his life had been going, she was now also his only friend. And if there was one thing Harm had always known to appreciate and care about were his friends. Which was why she was priceless to him and he would treat her as such.

On the other hand he felt sorry for Mattie, having heard of the infant sleep dysfunctions from Bud years ago and Mattie was sharing not only the apartment, but also the room with Jen... Guess in which room would the baby be sleeping...

In no time at all Harm would have one sleep deprived, exhausted Petty Officer, one sleep deprived teenager (and they can be a pain in the ass without being sleep deprived) and one screaming baby on his hands, to deal with by himself. How he would deal with that he still didn't know.

With all the drama of the past few hours and the unpredicted resolution of Jen's medical crisis he was just glad they'd gone to a military hospital and thus everyone there knew better than to make the silly mistake civilian doctors and nurses would make and assume he was the father of the baby. Had anyone suddenly turned to him and asked 'Does Daddy want to cut the cord?' or 'Does Daddy want to hold his son?' there was no doubt his tenuous grip on his sanity would've snapped and he would've run screaming out of the delivery room. Thankfully nothing like that had happened, though the doctor and nurses had sent him weird looks as to why an enlisted wanted an officer with her while she gave birth, and thus he had stayed.

In the end Harm decided he would do the only thing he was allowed to do: be a good friend to Jen and only a friend, help her whenever he'd be able to, and forget any silly notion of more between them that their recent closeness and developing emotional and mental bond had caused.

Even if it killed him.

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AN: after seeing the instructional movie about childbirth I don't think I'll be capable of making love for a while. It was horrible.

Btw., several nurses assure me that hidden pregnancies where not even the women themselves don't know about it are real, there was supposedly even a detailed documentary about them on TV. One nurse even told about a college student athlete who came to the hospital to give full-term birth while still comfortably wearing size 5 jeans... I'm constantly amazed by things that can happen to humans.

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	4. Chapter 4

Okay, no more icky parts. It's steady sailing from now on.

Thanks for the reviews and please keep them up!

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Chegwidden didn't arrive alone.

Okay, so he did arrive alone, but there were stalkers following him, unwilling to have him notice their presence until it was too late. So he was quite surprised to see members of the bullpen staff trickling into the waiting room behind him.

They had apprehended him the second he'd stepped out of his office, inquiring about the much-liked Petty Officer and not even his growling had saved him from having to reveal the truth. When he was gone a consensus had been reached that a few representatives of the staff would go visit the new mother and her child. Bud and Harriet had volunteered immediately, followed by a couple of Ensigns, Petty Officers and Seamen. No-one of the senior staff was interested in going, rather preferring to get back to their cases since neither Sturgis nor Mac were close to Jen, nor wanted to be.

Which is why there were 6 people standing with the balding Admiral in the waiting room, loaded down with flowers, cards and a few teddy bears.

Eventually Harm showed up and, after being only slightly surprised to see all those people there (it was Jen they came for, after all, the staff loved her), led them into her room.

They arrived just in time to see the portable crib being wheeled into the room, holding one small occupant, demonstrating ownership of a couple of magnificent lungs. The screaming stopped when the mother took the baby into her arms and stared at it enchanted, for the first time in her life having the chance to really look at her child, who had dropped into her life so surprisingly and unexpectedly.

Literally.

Because one second she'd been thinking her bladder had ruptured and the next thing she knew she was giving birth to a baby, a human who she'd have to take care off for the next two decades, squeezing Harm's hand with all her might. She could see him still favoring it, rubbing it tenderly and keeping it as far as possible from her, while observing her with wary eyes to be on the lookout if she'd try to grab it again. His expression wasn't accusing, for he knew she couldn't have helped herself, but it wasn't exactly trusting either. She smiled shyly, guiltily at him.

Then she turned back to her child to finish counting the fingers and toes, unaware of Harm counting with her.

The women cooed over the newcomer and everything was going well until the Admiral had his turn. He waited until the others had left, then congratulated Jen, tickled the baby's stomach and was about to turn away when he froze. Slowly looking back he again checked out the baby's facial features, so similar to it's mother's. But then the baby opened it's sleepy eyes, ready for it's meal.

The Admiral stood stock still, paled and then flushed so thoroughly even his bald head turned red. Slowly a low growl formed in his chest, slowly forming into one word. "RAAABBBB!!"

"What?"

Harm looked at the Admiral and then flinched at the rage he saw there, instinctively putting the rolling breakfast tray between himself and the tiger in the form of a man.

"Is there something you wish to share, CDR?"

Harm kept wary eyes on him. "Like what?"

"Like, why the hell does the Petty Officer's child have your eyes!"

Even the air froze as everyone stopped stunned. Jennifer's gasp was loud in the room as she quickly looked down at her child and then back at the man standing next to her bed.

Indeed, as the baby had opened it's eyes for the first time the Admiral had been confronted with the eyes he knew so well. And that could only mean one thing...

"What!?" Harm exclaimed, quickly crossing the distance to find out for himself.

It was true, the baby definitely had his aquamarine orbs. The Admiral exploited the younger man's distraction and quickly moved around the obstacle, grabbing the CDR by his lapels and threw him against the wall, moving into his face. Harm's eyes were still dazed from the revelation when they focused on his.

"You are so going down, Commander." he growled into Harm's face "Conduct unbecoming, fraternizing with an enlisted, knocking her up, shacking up the said enlisted,... No wonder you had her move in next door to you, just so you could keep your affair up. By the time I'm done with you you'll wish for being keel-hauled instead."

The Admiral was doing the exact same thing he'd done just the year before, assuming, jumping to conclusions and not even a little trusting his best officer.

Jen, who was sitting on her bed, suddenly remembered something important. Passing the baby into the bassinet she stood up shakily, ignoring the pain, and moved between the two men to protect her son's father knowing the Admiral wouldn't do anything if she was in the way since he wouldn't hit a woman, just as the man in question pulled his fist back to hit the bewildered younger officer. Harm was just too surprised by the events to register the Admiral was about to punch him, so he didn't put up any defences.

Facing her CO with fire blazing from her eyes Jen warned. "You'll have to first go through me, sir, if you want to hurt the CDR. Calm down and we'll talk. This is definitely not as it seems."

She was relieved to see his fist unclench and falter slowly. No matter how angry he was he wasn't about to risk hitting a woman and definitely not one who had just given birth. Then he let go of Harm and stepped back to the other side of the room, where he continued to prowl like a caged tiger.

Harm immediately turned to Jen, who he knew shouldn't be on her feet so soon.

"Come on, Jen, let's get you back to bed."

Knowing he was right she let him help her, herself afraid of tearing stitches. Besides, moving around hurt.

"I'm waiting." ground out the JAG as soon as Jen was settled in.

Jen took a deep breath. "There was only one night."

Harm looked confused, still not sure how was it possible he was the child's father. From what he remembered he'd never had the honor and pleasure of making love to this amazing young woman. "When?"

As the Admiral twitched to lunge at Harm Jen raised her hand and called out to stop him. "But it was while the CDR wasn't in the Navy."

By now Harm was bewildered by when could it have happened and by the fact that that one night had left such huge consequences, but most especially by the fact that these consequences had not been discovered until the very end.

"It was in July last year while the CDR was working for the Company. From what I can remember we met at some bar by pure coincidence. Everything's a blur after that, but I remember us both drinking and the next thing I remember is waking up in the CDR's bed with him, both naked. I left before he woke up."

"And you didn't think of reporting it!?" roared the Admiral angrily.

"Whom would I report it to and why?" shot Jen back innocently. "The CDR wasn't in the Navy, he was a civilian, so it was neither the Navy's nor your concern. Further more, the CDR didn't rape me nor did he force me into it, so there was nothing to report to anyone. I may have been drunk, but no matter how drunk I ever was I never did anything I didn't want to and no matter how drunk I was no-one could ever get me to have sex with them if I didn't want to. I spent 10 years living on the streets and some of it with a biker gang, I know how to take care of myself and stop a man from doing what I don't want. I had sex with Harm of my own free will and never regretted the fact. The only thing I ever regretted is that it could never lead anywhere." she looked down, chin trembling, aware she'd said too much already, but could not hold it in anymore. The dam had been penetrated and it was all coming out now. "Because of the Navy and because of LtCol Mackenzie. That's why I didn't say anything, I didn't want to get hurt." she whispered, her voice thick with tears.

Harm crouched down and looked into Jen's eyes from the same height, knowing this matter had to be resolved immediately for there ever being a chance for them. "There's nothing between me and Mac anymore, Jen." he soothed, covering her hands, where she was clasping them together tightly, with his own. "Whatever she and I ever had is dead now and it took Paraguay and her words to make me realize it. I spent too long clinging to something that's been dead for years and in May I finally realized it. What you and I shared was not a rebound and I wish you had told me about it, we could've tried to make it work." He looked down then "But the way I sometimes acted I guess I didn't exactly inspire confidence into a successful conversation."

Harm's brow furrowed as a sliver of a memory came back. "I thought it was only a dream, you know, so I didn't think anything of it. I woke up and thought I was only imagining your scent on my sheets, cause you weren't there. There was nothing to prove you've ever been there. I didn't think you were interested that way in me." murmured Harm to himself, but was still overheard and earned himself a glare from the Admiral, while Jen just looked touched and pleased such dreams about her were obviously common enough for him. She had also read his eyes and knew the unspoked part of his last sentence was that was interested that way in her.

"Care to elaborate on that, CDR?" rumbled the bald man dangerously.

Harm looked back up with wide eyes, only now realizing he'd been overheard, but collected himself with remarkable speed and diverted attention from his secret "It was after a bad mission that went south. Another one of Webb's of course. I came back from that screw up and the only thought I had was to get as drunk as possible to forget it. I accidentally met the PO at the bar where she was playing pool and the last thing I remember was us sharing a few drinks. When I woke up next morning alone I thought it was all just a dream. Obviously it wasn't..."

"So, you see, Admiral, if it was anyone taking advantage of someone, then it was me taking advantage of the Commander's distraught emotional state." she glared Harm into silence when he wanted to protest then turned back to their CO "If you want to pin a sexual assault charge on anyone, then you'd better pin it on me." she said hotly, then turned to Harm "I didn't want to make things awkward between us, so I never mentioned it. I didn't know it was over between you and the LtCol, so I thought you were still pining for her. And then you came back into the Navy, so telling you was definitely out. Not even when I moved in with Mattie. Especially not then. If being a neighbor and a partner in custody was all I could ever have I would cherish it and never jeopardize it.The last thing I'd want is to lose your friendship, it means everything to me." her deep dark eyes lowered. "You and Mattie are the only real friends I have."

Harm's heart melted "It's okay, Jen, I know how you feel."

The Admiral was looking at the byplay before him skeptically.

"You're really trying to tell me nothing happened between you two after the CDR came back into the Navy and the Petty Officer moved in next door?" he asked incredulously.

"Yes, sir." they both nodded.

"Ask Mattie, sir, she'll confirm it. Nothing happened between us."

"You're damn right I will." he exclaimed.

"We were just an officer and an enlisted who are incidentally neighbors, nothing more." continued Jen "You yourself can testify we were always completely by the book and professional on duty."

The Admiral had to grudgingly agree, but still needed to be sure. "Is there still a possibility this baby could be another's, Petty Officer?"

Jen looked highly offended and rightfully so. She could feel Harm tense beside her, himself taking offense at the slight of Jen's character and virtue. "I'm not a slut, sir! I don't go from one man's bed into another's. Yes, that one night was a mistake, but it was a fluke, a one-time occurence, it wasn't anything I normally do and it happened only because I know the CDR, like him and trust him. It wouldn't have happened with any other man and I haven't been involved with anyone even before joining the Navy. I don't have sex outside a pre-existing relationship and while the CDR's and mine relationship was never a romantic one he was still the only man I'd ever consider as a partner, even if he is an officer."

That seemed to appease the old man. Turning to Harm he inquired coldly. "And you, Commander? Are you acknowledging this baby as your son?"

Harm looked to Jen, who was looking at him in sudden fear, and then to the child sleeping in her arms.

It was a moment of decision, a moment that would change the lives of several people forever. Jen watched with agonizing fear as Harm looked down at the child and only prayed she could survive the aftermath of what he would say next.

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	5. Chapter 5

Wow, thank you so much for your reviews, guys, I certainly didn't expect such a wonderful response to what I considered an average-quality chapter. Thank you!

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_**Previously, on JAG:**_

_That seemed to appease the old man. Turning to Harm he inquired coldly. "And you, Commander? Are you acknowledging this baby as your son?"_

_Harm looked to Jen, who was looking at him in sudden fear, and then to the child sleeping in her arms._

_It was a moment of decision, a moment that would change the lives of several people forever. Jen watched with agonizing fear as Harm looked down at the child and only prayed she could survive the aftermath of what he would say next._

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_**And now, the continuation:**_

Then Harm locked eyes with his boss and nodded once. "Yes, sir, I am."

Jen's exhale of relief was almost audible, for a second she'd been worried Harm would say no, that he didn't want her and their child.

The pleased smile appeared and disappeared on the Admiral's lips almost too fast to be noticed. Almost. He was pleased with the Commander for taking responsibility, not that the other man had ever shunned it, and not abandoning his child. Jen would need him by her side in the coming months and years, at least financially if in no other way. She was barely making ends meet on her meager pay on her own, but a baby is a huge resource drain even on well-situated married couples with two incomes. Jen was meanwhile just a Petty Officer and living in DC... She wasn't even capable of paying the whole rent of a small apartment in a dingy house in bad neighborhood by herself. Had she been abandoned by the father of her child she would've probably been under the threshold of poverty within weeks, because the Navy just wasn't paying her enough.

He was the JAG and, while law was his game, he could also read people well enough to know Harm and Jen were telling the truth. There had been only one night, the result of which was resting in her arms, and nothing more.

With satisfaction he observed how Harm hesitantly made his way to Jen's bed and then sat down on the edge, peering at his son's face for real for the first time ever. Running a large finger gently down the chubby cheek Harm then quickly glanced at Jen, who smiled at him gently, tears in her eyes from watching father greet his son for the first time. Settling in more comfortably and slinging his arm around her shoulders they then again conducted the sacred parental ritual of counting fingers and toes, this time together.

They still had things to talk about, things to work out, and Chegwidden had a mind of giving them a kick-start. This kid needed a family. A real family, not that half-assed bullshit that's so popular these days, with parents not married and thus not giving the child neither the emotional, nor the legal security it needs and that a marriage provides. The kid needed a father and mother who are married and living together to raise him in the right way, by giving him the correct role model of healthy adult romantic relationships, commitment and family.

"What are your plans now?" he received only blank looks, obviously they hadn't thought of that yet. "Are you going to raise your child together or will you be only a part-time father, Commander?"

The sneer at the last option made it known how he felt about that option. He still hadn't forgiven nor forgotten Marcella for taking that away from him by playing mind games with him, but especially for withholding the existence of his daughter from him for decades and thus robbing him of the only chance for fatherhood he had in this life. Sure, he'd had other offers, but Marcella had been the love of his life, something she'd always known. You can't get completely over losing the love of your lfie. He'd never experience raising his own child and watch it grow from an infant into an adult, he'd lost all those special memories of rasing his daughter. And these losses, together with failures with other relationships, be it due the woman's death or her infidelity, were what had made him into this bitter lonely old man that he was now.

Harm and Jen met each other's gazes hesitantly before answering, smiling tentatively. "We're gonna raise him together."

"Good." the Admiral nodded, pleased with his two subordinates and proud his trust in them was justified. "When's the wedding?"

"What?" stunned eyes turned on him.

"You have a child together, a child you will be raising together. Which means you will live together. Of course you're getting married. Especially if you don't want any problems from the Navy or anyone else."

That gave them something to think about, he was satisfied to see. They had a quiet conversation for nearly a minute, then Harm asked a little louder. "Are you sure?"

Jen looked down at their child and then looked up at Harm. "Yes, I'm sure. We have a baby together, Harm, we're already as bound together as we can be. Marriage would be just an official declaration of a devotion to each other and to the baby that already exists. The Admiral is right, we need it, especially if another Lindsey comes looking to rock the boat for their own gain. That way you also won't go to Leavenworth and lose your career, I don't want our child to grow up with his father, because he's in jail. And..." she looked down shyly, her face flaming. "I want you to be mine and I want to be yours for real, I want every woman to know you're off the market, taken and out of reach, and they can no longer try to sink their claws into you. I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. So, yes, I'm sure."

Harm nodded at her, whispered "I've fallen in love with you too." then looked up at Chegwidden, trying to ignore the tingling going through his body at telling a woman he loved her, for the first time in 8 years.

He also tried to ignore the feeling of trepidation when he remembered how that relationship had ended and that that woman, one he had loved for 13 years was dead, shot by a crazed sicko on the night Harm was intending to propose. He had only recently managed to make himself acknowledge that telling a person he loved them wouldn't automatically convict them to death, a belief that had held him in it's grip since Diane's death and had destroyed every relationship since then. Hard to make a woman stay with you when you're incapable of sharing your feelings with her, most of them need to hear the words and some of them are obssessed with hearing the words.

But the strange thing was he had the feeling Jen knew exactly how much it'd cost him to overcome his fear and somehow he also sensed she wasn't the clingy, needy type who is constantly looking for confirmation of her beauty or desirability and forcing the man to tell her he loves her non-stop or playing mind games with him to keep him interested just so she would keep getting confirmations she is desirable, even if they are not involved, nor does she have feelings for him.

After a second he realized those weren't just hunches, but actual knowledge stemming from being emotionally close and living in close proximity of Jen for the past few months and knowing her as well as it was possible, knowing Jen knew him as well in return.

This was what separated Jen from Annie, Jordan, Renee and Mac: she knew him, she accepted him, all of him, not just the lawyer and the decorated officer part of him, but also the pilot part of him. But, more importantly, she knew, fully accepted and helped heal the damaged private man part of him, something not even Mac had wanted to bother with or expend her effort and energy on helping him heal.

Jen knew him, she accepted him, she was helping him heal and Harm knew with absolute certainty that their relationship would be a successful one, no matter what turbulent times laid ahead. They'd get through it together.

"I'll call a friend from the Agency, we'll need someone who is authorised to perform a wedding and won't object to our creative editing of the paperwork. And the best thing is that he owes me favors."

One hour later it was settled and Harm and Jen were married. Harm's friend had come through the whole nine yards, they had a signed marriage certificate saying they'd gotten married while Harm had still been out of the Navy, on the 27th September 2003, making their marriage legal in every aspect and above board. Their son's birth certificate also said Jennifer Rabb and Harmon Rabb Jr. were his parents. This had been another reason for them agreeing to get married... neither one of them wanted their child to grow up with the stigma of being illegitimate.

It felt strange to them being married, marrying so quickly, even though they had a child, because they hadn't continued a romantic relationship after their one night of passion. But few non-couples could be better prepared to just click into place from friendship into marriage. They lived next door to each other, were already more or less together raising Mattie and had thus already developed the rapport and emotional support spouses and parents share.

They were unlucky however in the aspect that due to their decision to stay discrete they wouldn't be getting time off for a honeymoon, but since they both rightfully had paternity and maternity leave coming they weren't all that heartbroken.

It had been decided with Chegwidden he would not reveal the baby's paternity nor their marriage. The official story for why Harm was taking leave during Jen's maternity leave was that he was to help Jen in the first few weeks, since she had no family and no close friends to help her out. They would carry on acting as if they were still just officer and enlisted because they knew they wouldn't be able to convince their coworkers of an pre-existing marriage if they had just suddenly announced it with the birth of their first child. They would let everyone on with clues over time. But Harm had insisted that if someone asked him directly if he was the father he wouldn't deny, he would say 'yes' and mention he was also Jen's husband and had been for months.

Jen would continue to have her maiden name on her uniform name tags until such time as a new JAG would be appointed and sworn in. That was when she'd requisition new tags and they'd officially come out of the closet. For even though the new JAG would know about their situation from the files it would be better if he recognised them as spouses from the get-go, because it would prevent many potential hassles if he'd jump to wrong conclusions, not knowing they were married and believing they were fraternizing.

Now just came the question how would they tell Mattie...

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	6. Chapter 6

To paraphrase Mark Twain: "The rumors of my engagement have been greatly exaggerated." But thank you all nonetheless for your congratulations, even though they're unfortunately not warranted.

Thank you very much for your amazing reviews, it really blows me away this fic is so liked. As said in replies, this fic was meant as a one shot so the name for the kid never even came up, but since so many have asked I'm trying to somehow incorporate it into one of the chapter's structure. Let's just hope it won't end up looking too awkward a change in topic... I have a name selected, no Harm The Third, but since I suck at naming let's just hope it's a good one.

Loved the reviews, keep them up!

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"Oh god, Mattie." gasped Jen "She has to be picked up in an hour."

"Don't worry, I'll get her." soothed Harm.

Chegwidden, who was already getting to leave, seemed to remember something and turned around, looking at Jen curiously. "Petty Officer, did really have no clue you were pregnant? I mean, we others couldn't know since you weren't showing at all, but didn't you notice the lack of... ahem..., didn't have any morning sickness, etc..." His expression clearly showed he was very uncomfortable with the topic and his questions, but his curiosity was just stronger.

"No!" Jen shook her head sighing "I didn't know, sir. You have no idea how many times I've asked myself today how could I have missed this, but there was really no clue. I still received some spotting every month and the doctor told me earlier that it isn't that uncommon for a woman to have no morning sickness at all. Some just don't have it, some have it and some have it badly and that through the entire pregnancy. And I thought I've just put on a little weight because of being transferred from the field to an office job, where I have to sit on my ass all day."

"What about the baby? Didn't you feel it move?" Jen glared at him, he was getting much too personal for her like.

"No, sir, I didn't feel it. The doc said I have a retroverted uterus and that's why I didn't show or feel the baby move most of the time. And if I did feel it move I just thought I had gas. I mean, there was no sign I was pregnant, I didn't grow fat, I still had the spotting, how would I know I wasn't having gas! The OB/GYN they have on staff here said that some babies just aren't that active..." Jen knew she was freaking out and ranting, but was incapable of stopping herself.

Seeing Jen was getting upset Harm sent a glare at the Admiral, grateful that as Jen's husband he had the right to tell even his own CO to stop upsetting her or leave the room.

Chegwidden went silent with a chastised air surrounding him, while Harm just held Jen in his arms and let her vent, instinctively knowing her situation was only now catching up with her. It was only now sinking in with her that she'd been pregnant, that she'd given birth just hours ago, that she was a mother now and even a wife. Most women and men have 7 to 8 months to come to terms with just how their lives would change with a marriage and an incoming baby and then prepare for those changes. Those women and men also have 8 months to get together everything they will need for their babies, sort out living arrangements if they haven't already, set up a nursery, buy baby clothes, food, diapers and so on, while he and Jen had been suddenly thrust into this situation without warning or even hint.

In a matter of just hours they'd gone from mere co-workers to spouses and parents to a newborn. They had had no time to emotionally and mentally prepare, nor adjust, and they had absolute zero of the things parents of a newborn need. Well, the newborn himself had everything he needed. He had a blanket around himself to keep him warm and his mother would produce his food with her body, he didn't need anything else. No, everything else needed, cribs, changing tables, playpens, diaper bags,... is needed only by the parents.

He would be there for her now and save his own freaking out for when he was alone. He just held her in his arms, tentatively, unaccustomed to holding Jennifer Coates, okay, Jennifer Rabb in his arms. The only time he remembered holding her had been on the Seahawk when she'd broken down over Bud and he'd just had to try to comfort her, not willing to watch her continue to suffer. He had no recollection of their only time together as lovers, so it was a completely new feeling to hold her this intimately. And in public, for that matter. What was even more weird, to hold her in front of their boss without the boss saying anything.

He felt her stiffen at the feel of his embrace, but perservered, too much was at stake, they had to become used to each other's touch. Gradually he felt her relax until she gave in with a sigh and melted into his chest, burying her face into his neck, inhaling his scent, letting the comfort of it wash over her.

She'd always loved his scent, the mixture of Old Spice, soap, clothing detergent and of the fragrance that was uniquely Harm and it had the same effect on her it had always had whenever she'd stood close enough to him to catch a whiff of it. It calmed her down and filled her with confidence.

They stayed that way until the baby started fussing and gnawing at his clenched fists.

"He's hungry." guessed Harm and Jen looked at him with apprehension. She'd nursed her son immediately after popping him out, but she still didn't feel confident about it.

Chegwidden saw that as a perfect reason to bail out, cause watching his yeoman nursing was the last thing he'd ever want to do.

Approaching the newly-minted parents/spouses he shook their hands. "With that I'm taking my leave. Since I only wished the Petty Officer this earlier: congratulations, CDR, on the birth of your son. May he make you proud. And, Petty Officer, CDR, congratulations to both of you on your marriage." motioning to Harm the Admiral winked conspiratorially at Jen "I'm relying on you, Coates.. err.. Rabb, to keep him grounded from now on." Then he shook his head and mumbled to himself "That's gonna take a while to get used to."

Jen laughed, while Harm looked slightly offended. "Oh, sir, don't worry." she assured him, laughter still dancing in her eyes "Somehow I get the feeling that now that he's married and has a child he'll be calming down a lot."

"Hey!" protested Harm, but was ignored by both.

"May your words come true." the bald man murmured and said his farewells, disappearing out the door.

This left the two parents alone for the first time since their world had changed forever.

Seeing the hesitant way Jen handled their son, Harm suggested softly "Should I get the nurse?"

She seemed to think about it for a second, then rejected the idea. "No, it's okay, I think I can handle it."

"Okay." Harm sat back fully, pulling his shoes off and then putting his legs on the bed, one arm around Jen's shoulders to anchor him, fully prepared for the show to come.

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	7. Chapter 7

This chapter was completely changed early in September 2010 because I was pretty unhappy with it for a long time. I felt that not only was it too corny, but the events described were inappropriate for the situation and circumstances alone, but also for this stage in their relationship, where they're just starting to get used to be more than mere coworkers and have still even begun to deal with the recent events, namely becoming parents and getting married.

Because of the major changes it underwent I'm uploading it as a new chapter. As such I deleted it and the other two that came after it and will be uploading them again. In case I'll be rewriting the earlier chapters too I'll just replace the contents without deleting and uploading and notify you. in the AN's for the really-new chapter.

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It took but a second for Jen to realize his intentions and when she did she sent a raised eyebrow over her shoulder at him.

"What?" he looked at her confused.

"You planning on staying there and watching?" she asked unnerved.

With Chegwidden's departure Jen's earlier bravado had left as well, her earlier big talk about settling Harm down and grounding him now forgotten. She still had to get used to the fact they were more than just coworkers now and even though she knew he'd done more than see one of her breasts, not to mention seen more of her than just that, it would take time before she'd no longer get flustered at the idea of Harm doing that. Even though she'd been granted everything she'd wanted for so long, it would still take time before she'd get used to being allowed to have it, to reach out and claim it whenever she wanted.

Not to mention getting up the nerve to instigate a chain of events that would lead to getting her hands and lips on his body and his own on and inside of her. Hopefully by the time she was healed enough for what she had in mind she would also get there emotionally and mentally, not just physically.

Looking at her in bewilderment Harm shrugged his shoulders, confused as to why she would ask such a thing "Of course."

"Oh." she murmured to herself, blushing furiously.

At that the bulb went off "Jen, look... if you're uncomfortable, I can wait outside."

Even though Jen still looked slightly apprehensive with the whole idea she didn't tell him to get lost.

Staying where he was he tried to give Jen as much privacy as he could in that situation.

Sure, he was curious what she'd been hiding under those loose blouses, T-shirts and way too big bathrobes, which had done nothing but arouse his imagination for the past few years and preoccupy him with trying to guess whether those breasts were really as magnificent as they seemed, BUT he respected Jen and would make sure to stress her as little as possible.

The indecisive stalemate was forced into a decision by their son, who was getting quite restless, crying and rooting around for the source of his nourishment.

There was no way to miss Jen's starting blush at baring her breasts to someone else become fierce as two identical wet circles appeared on her shirt, quickly becoming larger as the baby's hungry wail travelled through her cochlear nerve to her brain, which in turn triggered the production of oxytocin, inducing lactation and production of more milk.

He'd once overheard Harriet mention to Mac something about babies having their mothers' breasts on remote control (or was it the other way around?)... maybe there was something to that after all...

Dying from embarrassement Jen quickly opened her shirt, grimacing at the mess she'd made of herself and brought the baby closer.

She startled when suddenly Harm's large hand appeared under her own, steadying the baby and helping her guide their son to her nipple, a maneuver that uncannily reminded Harm of in-flight refuelling, something he'd pulled off dozens of time before. At one point he barely caught himself from counting off the distance and then giving confirmation of docking and request for fuel.

No need to make his new wife afraid he'd gone crazy, on top of every other worry she already had...

When Jen gasped as the baby latched on he sent her a concerned look, which she quickly shook off. Jen was tense as she experienced nursing for the first time in her life and the heat of Harm's body surrounding her didn't lessen it any, but eventually she relaxed by increments.

Settling back into her pillow Jen just watched her son eat as Harm looked on.

There was something truly mesmerizing to watch the child whom he had helped give life, lying in the arms of this amazing woman who gave the other part of DNA and unknowingly carried him for 9 months.

Never before had he felt larger, greater, stronger, more powerful and more immortal than now as he was watching his progeny. In the space of just a few hours he'd gotten everything he'd so desperately wanted, but had given up on even hoping for.

They watched their son eat, love filling their hearts, neither of them having known before this kind of happiness and love even exists. And now they were feeling it, with each other and with the family they'd created together.

And it was only the beginning.

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Better than the original?

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	8. Chapter 8

Wanted to update yesterday, but we're changing internet providers and it's been a nightmare.

Those who received an error when you wanted to update it's because you've already reviewed **a** chapter 7, but ff. net doesn't care that that was the old chapter 7 and not the new one. That error will probably occur for this and the next chapter too if you reviewed them before. If you still want to review this chapter then just simply send me a PM. Don't worry, you haven't been banned or anything. :P

Yet another revised chapter.

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His previous wonderings of how Jen felt with suddenly being thrust into parenthood were now answered.

In the space of a second he'd gone from a single, supportive friend of an unwed mother to being that friend's husband and the father of that unwed mother's baby. Of the child he hadn't even known existed and, thanks to his connections, married for almost 10 months running.

It was definitely not something he'd expected when he'd gotten up that morning.

He hadn't told Jen about it, but he'd already decided to give her a real wedding ceremony as soon as they became public. With everything she'd done for him Jen deserved better than some dry, dull signing of papers. The only thing missing about the wedding they'd had to be for a true shotgun wedding was the shotgun.

Although at the times they'd touched on the topic in their after-dinner-alone-without-Mattie conversations Jen had never mentioned any ideas and wants for what kind of wedding she wanted, but had always spoken of the **marriage **she wanted. There are women so concentrated and obsessed with weddings they completely forget a wedding is just a ceremonial entrance into marriage and not a purpose of itself. Yup, Mattie had introduced him to the show Bridezillas...

Thinking a little about the women from the circles he moved in he knew he'd really hit a jackpot with Jen. Not only she wasn't corrupted or vain or self-obssessed/egocentric/egoistic or a gold-diggeer, but she was also more mature than most women her age (even of his own age) and was very intelligent, something she'd proven hundreds of times in life and at work.

Come to think of it, Jen now had everything she'd said several times she wanted: a good job, a husband and a couple of kids (Mattie included).

Harm knew no matter how Chegwidden had treated her over the past year Jen loved her job at the HQ, it was challenging and rewarding. She had plenty of opportunities to put her excellent organisational skills to work and got to meet plenty of interesting and influental people in the process. He had no doubt she'd made plenty of contacts and friends in different places in just one year, Jen's easygoing and selfless nature as always making her friends. While the pay was miserable, especially for a Petty Officer living in DC, Harm knew Jen wouldn't want anything else and was awfully relieved her job wasn't in jeopardy because of him. That little paper saying they were married futher insured her job's security.

Neither of them would be losing their incomes because of one night's passion, which was the reason he'd pulled those strings to have the marriage license back-dated to before he'd returned to the Navy. As soon as they got married they were untouchable.

She'd wanted kids and now she had two, if you counted in Mattie.

Speaking of Mattie... it had not escaped Harm that now he and Jen were married their position and chances at the next custody hearing were light years better than they'd been at Christmas when he was on his own... Now there was two of them, along with being married and having a child, their prospects at having custody extended or even adopting Mattie were very confident indeed.

Mattie and Jen had been getting along famously from the first minute they'd met and Harm had noticed their sister/sister relationship had plenty of mother/child elements to it from the start, so it wouldn't be too hard for them to go over to that full-time.

He reckoned it would be a little weird at the beginning for Jen, being the mother to a 15 year old at the age of 28, but he knew very few people as adaptable as Jen.

Hm... 2 kids at 28. Something usual just 10 or 20 years ago, but not so much these days anymore.

Yet considering nowadays women are regularily having their first children when already being over 35, in the high-risk pregnancy age, Jen had gotten pregnant at the right time in her life.

The only thing Harm regretted about this was that they hadn't met sooner and that he wasn't near Jen's age so they could've had this at least 5 to 10 years before already.

She also had a husband with a pretty good job that paid well, full medical plan that covered retirement and family too, and who would make damn sure he would be as good a husband and father he could be.

She had everything she'd wanted.

It was a very good thing Harm wanted everything exactly like this as well.

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Harm hurried to his car, anxious to get home, take the Lexus' keys, pack a bag of clothes for Jen, pick up Mattie and get back. Thankfully his apartment was between the hospital and Mattie's school.

Coming up behind his care he walked to the driver's door and then froze, retracing his steps. Getting down on his haunches he confirmed his suspicions. The rear tires were shredded, barely had any profile left. Vaguely he remembered driving to Bethesda with a lead-foot.

Oh well, they were just tires and considering he'd thought Jen was dying he didn't care what he'd done to them. Even now, that he knew Jen hadn't been in mortal danger, he still didn't care about what he'd done to the rubber.

Jen was worth million times more.

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**Reviews are love, give me lots of them.**


	9. Chapter 9

I owe today's major headache only to this freaking wireless internet. We changed internet providers and the new ones gave us some puny modem instead of a router. And that modem was on the other side of the room where only my dad's laptop could connect... and I don't really trust that computer with my passwords...

Yesterday I went and bought a wireless router... which it then turned out that it didn't work... even though it was new...

And to make matters even more ludicrous just a couple of minutes before I bought it I met an old friend of mine and in the course of conversation when he asked me about my bike, I told him Murphy loves me... That stupid Murphy then of course had to strike just minutes after that, by putting a non-working router on the shelf.

Today I took it back and they gave me a new router, a different make, and was trying for 4 hours to get the wireless network to run... Then took a break, during which an acquaintance told me that this router's make is notorious for being a pain in the ass to set-up! He was right, in the end I called my ISP's hotline and we worked for half an hour, meeting problems on every step, to then deduce this router is broken as well... I thanked him and hung up then went to work on it myself, thankfully finding out what was wrong by sheer coincidence.

So, after 2 or 3 days without internet and a major headache I'm back online!

I changed or outright deleted quite a few things I was unhappy with this cahpter, but at the time of posting I simply had no idea how to write them differently. Also, I changed the last sentence because the idea for the next chapter changed and the original ending didn't really fit with the start of the next chapter.

Relieved you're still liking and reading this, even with how the next chapter is getting stalled (and even though I have it all written out).

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This drive was quite different from the one he had made just hours ago.

He was still having trouble reconciling the fact that he had a child, a son, something he'd given up on in the last few years and that he was married. To an enlisted, no less. Not a civilian or another officer, but an enlisted, the big no-no in the military. Whenever Harm did something he never seemed to do it half-way.

He'd been wanting a family of his own to come home to for so damn long he couldn't even remember when he'd started wishing for it. Yet, now that he finally had it, the enormity of the complete change of his entire life, down to the last microscopic detail, frightened him.

The truth was, he had absolutely no bloody clue how he would perform in a marriage on a daily basis. He had no experience to fall back on, hell, even his last relationship was 3 years ago!

Sure, he'd always found the young, impish, alternately-shy-and-brash Petty Officer attractive... there was never any doubt about it.

Not with a living, breathing proof of it lying in it's mother's arms right now, at any rate. Though he could not remember the night they'd spent together he was absolutely sure they'd been great together. He couldn't imagine them being anyway else, not with how well they've worked together during on-duty and off-duty.

Jen had additionally always fascinated, she was such a complex, yet simple person. A strange would mistakenly think her either not bright or naive or downright shallow, an acquaintance would think her complex, but when you got to know her closely enough and figured out how she ticked, you figured out she was complexely simple. And, by the time you got to know her that well, you've also realized she was probably one of the innerly most beautiful people you would ever meet and would feel privileged for the honor of knowing her, being her friend, have her care for you.

Yet, marriage and a fascination and attraction, are two completely different animals.

Usually people who get married get to know each other in a romantic way first... see if they are compatible before making that important step. Hell, considering the divorce rate was over 50 percent, even with that step every other couple ends up finding out they'd made the wrong choice in their partner.

Then again, would've that step really been necessary for him and Jen?

They were hardly strangers, unlike many if not most new couples...

They'd known each other for two and a half years as coworkers and friends, giving them a damn solid basis for a relationship. Besides, considering he'd figured out what made her tick and he was sure she'd done the same to him, they knew each other as well as it's even possible to know another person.

That was already half a battle won.

The other half had been won by the past few months of their cohabitation. Their living arrangements and experiences were much closer and more intimate than neighbors; though not as intimate as a couple. Still, they'd gotten to know most of those quirks of the other that they would know as a couple living together.

It was a knowledge no-one else but Mattie shared about either of them and that fact made Harm feel an emotion he had never felt before... not once in his life.

Harm was experiencing domestic possessive happiness... happiness over having a family, over having specific people as part of his family, being a part of that family, having one or more people with whom he shared his life on everyday basis. Next to that was that primitive joy every person experiences at least once in their life over the knowledge that they have or know something no-one else has/knows, in this case the before-mentioned knowledge about the private-life-Jen that no other living adult had any inkling of.

This all would help immensely in their new life, especially the first couple of months as they became settled into this new relationship.

With this all-important battle won, they had every chance possible of winning the war too.

Together they would learn how to be married and raise a child... a prospect he'd always wished for, but now frightened him as it loomed so suddenly out of the mist before him. But no matter what came their way he had the trust and confidence that together he and Jen would be able to withstand anything.

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This turn of events still occupied him greatly by the time he pulled up in front of Mattie's school to pick her up, just in time since the teen was looking quite worried by now.

Her dark expression lightened when she saw the 'Vette pull in. Saying goodbye to her friends she ran to the red vehicle and jumped in, greeting Harm enthusiastically.

It didn't take the intuitive young girl long to figure out something wasn't right, though.

Frowning at him, she penetrated him with her interrogative stare "What's wrong, Harm?"

Harm, still trying to figure out a way to tell her, tried to deflect the question "What do you mean?"

"You're acting funny." she stated flatly.

Harm shrugged.

"It's been a weird day, Mattie." he sighed "A very weird day."

"Uhuh." she grunted, prodding him to say more.

"Nothing's... wrong, Mattie. There were just some things that happened today that are taking time to process." stopping at a red light Harm turned and met her eyes "Really, there's nothing wrong, Matts. But it's better I show you, because you won't believe me if I tell you."

"Okay." she nodded, satisfied and let the subject drop.

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Harm could feel Mattie's gaze on him during the drive, her confusion growing when she realized they weren't headed home, but to some destination she'd never been before. He knew he should tell her about Jen and the baby, which still had no name, but he honestly had no idea how. Besides, she probably wouldn't believe him anyhow, he himself barely did. He still wouldn't have had he not seen Jen give birth to a baby with his own eyes and then go through a rushed wedding ceremony. No, that had been no delusion, it had really happened.

Mattie said nothing as he drove through the check-points, but when the large building came into view she sat up, really taking notice.

There was no mistaking the complex for what it was and her head whipped in Harm's direction.

"You said nothing's wrong, Harm!" she accused, staring woundedly up at her guardian.

Harm felt as if he'd been shot through the heart by the accusatory, angry tone "There is nothing wrong. What happened wasn't wrong, just..." he searched for the appropriate word "...unusual and unexpected."

He couldn't help but chuckle at that "Definitely unexpected."

This served only to sharpen Mattie's demanding squint "Then why are we going to a hospital? Who are we visiting?"

"A friend. Wait and see, Mattie." he tried to reassure the young girl. "You wouldn't believe me if I told you, trust me. You'll have to see it for yourself."

"That's the second time you said that and I still haven't seen it." she fumed, crossing her arms and leaning back in the seat.

Harm, thankful for the reprieve, put his attention to finding a parking spot. When the engine was turned off Mattie got out, while Harm reached behind his seat for a small bag. Retrieving the object he joined Mattie and together they walked into the building.

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Mattie noticed Harm knew exactly where to go as he made a sharp right turn as soon as they stepped through the double sliding doors of the medical establishment.

"What's in there?" she pointed at the black duffle Harm was carrying in one hand.

"Spare clothes and toiletries. The hospitalization was somewhat... unplanned for, so I had to go pick them up on the way to your school."

Mattie shrugged, that made sense and it explained his uncharacteristic tardiness.

They boarded an almost-full elevator, which prevented any talk and, when they exited it, Mattie was surprised to find herself on the maternity ward. That made her mind race as it compared the information she'd been given with the newest piece.

Maternity ward? Unexpected hospitalization?

Okay, so she had noticed Harm hadn't gotten any in years, but he still should've remembered how babies are made... and that they take a long time before they enter the world so such a hospitalisation is far from unexpected...

People have months to get ready for the arrival of their kid(-s) and expecting parents also usually have things packed and ready for the mother's stay in hospital after giving birth.

More than that, why was HARM bringing this woman her stuff, why didn't her husband do it?

Who was this woman anyway, for as far as Mattie knew Harm wasn't that close to any pregnant woman to be the one going to her home and getting her clothes together to bring to the hospital.

This was getting stranger and stranger.

As they made their way down the corridor they happened upon a few nurses tending to their duties. Mattie was by now used to seeing women perk up with interest when they laid their eyes on Harm, but these nurses surprised her. Sure, they were military and weren't about to start flirting with him, but what Mattie hadn't expected was the shade of resignation and envy in the eyes of the young nurses.

Mattie was getting more and more the feeling she'd fallen down a rabbit hole and a small shiver went down her spine.

As they finally stopped at a door and Harm turned around, he gave her a strange smile she couldn't even begin to analyze.

He opened the door and motioned her to go in ahead of him.

Sending Harm a suspicious look as dread settled heavily into her stomach, Mattie opened the door.

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Reviews are love.


	10. Chapter 10

FINALLY I can move on with the new chapters and thus the rest of the story. I'm glad you're still liking this and be assured this won't turn into another "One Normal Evening" for the simple reason that I just don't have the energy or will or patience for another behemoth.

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Seeing a woman holding a newborn in her arms, sitting up in the hospital bed, Mattie stopped and back-tracked, murmuring apologetically "Ah. Sorry, ma'am, wrong room."

Backing out of the room she gently closed the door and headed to the next one, bemused. For some reason the woman had seemed familiar to her... But no... Mattie shook her head... it was just her imagination since she didn't know anyone who'd been recently pregnant, she knew that with absolute certainty.

"Mattie!" Harm called out after her.

"What?"

"Where are you going?"

He looked confused.

"To the right room."

"This _is_ the right room..."

"No, it's not, Harm."

"It is, trust me."

Walking warily back to him she watched as he opened the door and waved her ahead.

Looking at him suspiciously again she followed his direction.

As soon as she was inside and fully took in the scene Mattie stopped in her tracks and blinked. Then blinked again. Still the same. Closing her eyes she rubbed them and checked again.

The hallucination was still there, though.

There was Jen... Jen in a hospital bed on the maternity ward...

Okay, so that could be explained with Bethesda running out of rooms and beds on the ward for whatever Jen had been admitted into the hospital... However unlikely that was...

But the other thing was a little harder to find a believable reason...

IT was namely where IT wasn't supposed to be.

The baby in Jen's arms.

There was no way this was what it looked like, NO FREAKING WAY, so Mattie decided that in this case 2+2 didn't equal 4, but 7.

"Mattie?"

Jen's tentative voice brought Mattie's bewildered gaze from the small baby in her room-mate's arms to the young woman herself.

"Jen?" she asked unsurely.

Jen nodded, apprehensive, not really knowing how to take Mattie's reaction.

"What's that?" Mattie asked, pointing at the tiny human.

"It's a baby." Jen answered, not in a patronizing tone of voice, but more in the '_Are you alright?' _ way.

Mattie nodded a little hysterically "Aha. But, what are you doing holding it?"

Harm and Jen's eyes mes. Had Mattie short-circuited somehow?

"I mean, where's it's mother? Won't she mind you holding her baby?"

Mattie frowned at the looks they were giving her. It wasn't as if her questions were without merit!

How did they have the nerve to think she was the unreasonable one? After all, it wasn't _she _who was lying in bed on the maternity ward, the place she had no reason being, holding someone else's child...

"Um... Mattie..." Jen bit her lip, clueless how to best break it to the young girl. Looking up at Harm, he only shrugged helplessly, out of his own depth as well.

"I'm not holding this baby for anyone, Mattie. This is _my son._"

That engaged Mattie's brain "You adopted him?"

Then she frowned, thinking feverishly "But why are you in the hospital if you adopted the baby?"

Jen shook her head, her tone gentle "No, Mattie, I didn't adopt him. I gave birth to him today..."

Even though she felt sorry for Mattie, Jen couldn't help but find the teenager's fish-like-gaping amusing.

"But... but..." Mattie finally managed to stammer "I saw you today... you didn't look pregnant... and you didn't say anything... Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't know I was pregnant myself, Mattie."

Mattie snorted "Right... You didn't know you were pregnant..."

The disbelief was clear in her voice, expression and stance. Jen was all-too-aware of how ridiculous and unbelievable it all sounded, even to herself.

"See... from what I know it's fairly easy to know whether you're pregnant." Mattie continued sarcastically, still reeling from the revelation "There's this thing called period that's missing for, say, 9 months and then there's the morning puking..."

"Mattie..." Jen tried to cut in, but Mattie just went on.

"... and getting fat and..."

"Mattie, stop for a second."

"... feeling the kid moving and..."

"MATHILDA GRACE!"

Harm's thunderous voice finally brought the end to Mattie's rambling, causing her to look at him a little pissed off, hurt and chastened all at the same time. Nevertheless, she subsided.

"Sorry." she muttered.

"It's okay, Mattie." Jen soothed gently "And it's true, none of the signs were there... just think back."

Now that she was calmed down Mattie had to admit Jen was right. She was living with the beautiful Petty Officer and could clearly remember there had been nothing to let onto the secret hiding deep in the other woman's womb. Sure, she had noticed Jen had grown a size or two in the waist a short while ago, which had caused Jen much chagrin as she'd had to buy new pants and skirts, but far from what pregnant women normally grow.

"How is it possible...?"

"I don't know." Jen shrugged with the sleeping baby in her arms "The doctors tell me it's possible, that it happens every so often."

Mattie looked like she didn't quite believe it, but was content to let it drop. But then she asked the question Jen and Harm had both been dreading.

"I didn't know you were seeing anyone and you never said something. Who's the father?"

Jen's guilty look didn't escape Mattie's notice and it made her wonder what Jen was feeling guilty about.

Then she got her answer.

"I am."

Mattie whirled around to look at Harm with wounded eyes "YOU?"

The baby stirred in it's sleep and let out a cry.

"Mattie!"

Looking back at Jen, doing her best to put her son back to sleep, Mattie went quiet. Just how extremely her life had changed had been made known in clearest, loudest, bombastic way possible.

She liked babies, but the babies you can give back to their mothers after a few minutes or when they get cranky/sleepy/loud/soiled/etc..

Now she would have to share living space with one, tip-toe around her own home unless she woke up the air raid siren.

But there was something more important to deal with just then.

"You've been seeing each other? Why didn't you tell me? Did you think I would rat you out?"

That was the crux of her heartbreak. Did they really think so little of her they thought she would betray them?

"Ah, Mattie. We haven't been seeing each other, there was nothing going on you didn't know about." Jen replied, then added "Well, except for the prengnancy, but we didn't know about it either."

"Really?" she asked skeptically, then pointed at the baby "Then how come you just gave birth and Harm's the father?"

This time Harm answered "It was only that one time..."

As soon as the words had left his mouth, he realized he'd just put his foot in again. Wincing, he looked at Jen who was only shaking her head in exasperation.

There was silence as only Mattie's astonished gasp was heard.

"You two..." Mattie pointed at each of her guardians, incredulous laugh bubbling to get out "had _unprotected _sex and got PREGNANT! And then YOU go and preach about SAFE SEX?"

"Mattie..." Harm warned, earning himself a dirty look.

Harm's and Jen's eyes met, their worry over Mattie's reaction escalating as the young girl still hadn't made her feelings on the whole matter clear.

Suddenly Mattie started twitching and the couple was starting to get worried... was she having seizures? Then Mattie did erupt into seizures, but of the laughing kind.

When the baby gave off a startled cry Mattie immeditealy quieted down, wincing as she apologized, but still chuckling "Sorry, forgot..."

"It's okay." Jen smiled "Look... it's not something we're proud of. We know we did something stupid and were just lucky we were stupid with each other and not somebody else. Neither of us has any STDs, something we were always aware, but we also knew each other at that time... That makes us a part of a very small minority, in both ways. That's not the case with most others and it probably wouldn't be for you either in the similar circumstances."

"And..." spoke Harm, bringing Mattie's attention to him "Since we're part of each other's everyday lives, unlike most cases, and know each other and what the other wants in life, our mistake didn't have such tragic consequences as it would've otherwise. As it most of the time has..."

Finally joining his family Harm perched on the edge of the bed, slipping an arm around Jen who leaned into him, as they looked at Mattie, hoping she would join them in completing the family circle.

"That means you're a real family?" checked Mattie "Father, mother and child? Where does that leave me?"

Jen and Harm both recognized that as the reason for Mattie's anxiety. What would happen to her now that Harm had the family he'd always wanted? Mattie feared that now that he had it he no longer needed or wanted her.

She couldn't have been more wrong.

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**Reviews are love, give me lots of 'em!**


	11. Chapter 11

Right now I had this ridiculous mental image of marching up and down the square with the Colour Sergeant when I REALLY want to go to my piano lessons...

Ups...

Sorry, wrong show. :P

Right now I had this ridiculous mental image of jumping up and down, clapping, and exclaiming in a REALLY bad Marylin Monroe imitation, with a cheesy grin and holding down my pants because of the fan under my feet "You love me! You really love me!"

I'm bettin' y'all really grateful right about now for the mental image I just put into yer heads, huh? :P

I love being evil. :D

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"Right where you were." Jen shook her head and Harm joined in, assuring the girl "Nothing's changed, Matts. Just because there's a baby in the picture doesn't mean we love you any less or that we don't want you in our lives."

"In fact." he took a breath to fortify himself "I haven't even talked with Jen about this since there really was no time, but now with this new development I think there's a good chance you'll stay with us for more than 6 months... Since it wouldn't be just me now, but Jen and I applying together, I think we have a pretty good shot at adopting you..." he paused, searching her face for any indication on what she might think about it, but it was blank with shock.

Unsure of what was going on in her mind he finished cautiously "That is, if you want it?"

Next thing he knew Mattie was choking the life out of him and Jen with her tight embrace. Both women were bawling and Harm rolled his eyes, dreading the future of having to deal with two women, emotional at the same time. Thankfully his son helped him balance the estrogen out a bit, though having another son some time in the future to help further wasn't an all too unattractive idea...

Suggesting that to Jen right then probably wouldn't have been smart, though. It could've been all the excuse she'd need to go through with her rusty spoon promise. Harm shuddered at the thought.

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Holding onto Mattie as they cried Jen asked herself why hadn't she come up with this scheme herself, it was so simple. It also had a pretty good shot at working. The answer to that question wasn't long in coming: Harm had definitely had his life changed, but hers hadn't changed any less and she'd been through more than he today. He'd had the time to think about things, while she'd been thrown from one situation into the next one and all attention-consumming enough to stop her from concentrating on anything but what she was going through at that second.

Ever since she'd collapsed in the bullpen her world had been a whirlwind, at first filled with pain, confusion and fear. Then the fear of death had disappeared, to be replaced with the fear of giving birth when it was discovered she was in reality pregnant and not having a ruptured bladder. After she'd given birth the pain had gradually subsided, leaving behind confusion over how she could've been pregnant in the first place and fear of the future: how would she turn out as a mother and how would she be able to provide for her child and herself on the measly pay she received as a Petty Officer in one of the most expensive cities in the country.

Then everything was forgotten at the sight of her son's eyes, the eyes she knew so well...

The memory of that morning came back, waking up naked in Harm's bed in his arms and then doing the Walk of Shame, thus answering the important how, when and who.

With the identity of her baby's father discovered all the worry had faded aways. There was no stranger who'd received her one-time-only gift and left her a present of his own, only a man she knew well and respected more than anyone else. Not to mention liked and loved...

The relief at the truth of her baby's paternity was so great all her other worries slipped away, unimportant for the moment.

Suddenly, before she could really take a breath, life started up again and took the fast lane.

Then, after Harm had left to pick up Mattie she had promptly fallen into a deep sleep brought on by the physical and emotional exhaustion of the day, leaving her no chance to think about her current situation and all the doors and possibilities it had opened and closed at the same time. She'd woken up only when Mattie had excused herself, thinking she'd gotten the wrong room, taking up all her attention again.

On top of that, she was still sore, exhausted and desperately in need of a shower.

Yet through all these issues and minutaes of her suddenly married maternal life a beacon shone, filling her heart with happiness at seeing all she had ever wanted within her grasp.

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"There's more, Mattie..." Jen finally saw the chance to reveal the last secret.

"How could there be more?" Mattie wondered aloud "Hasn't it been enough?"

"Harm and I got married today. A friend of Harm's from the CIA then made it look as if we've been married since before Harm returned to JAG."

Mattie observed them for a short while before shaking her head in bemusement, still too stunned to be surprised "You two are just full of surprises today, aren't you?"

Turning to look at Harm she raised an eyebrow "That's why you figure you'd have better chances at the next custody hearing, huh? A married couple with a child instead of a single man..."

Harm nodded, pride at her intelligence shining in his eyes.

"Now that all is settled..." Mattie said with a fake pompous air, as if she'd just closed negotiations between two corporations, worth billions of dollars; effectively ending that line of conversation and directing them to the more important things "How about introducing me to the little guy here?"

Jen smiled and angled the baby so Mattie could see his sleeping face.

"Mattie, meet your new brother."

Mattie leaned in, closely examining the small face, satisfied to confirm her secret suspicion that Harm and Jen would make beautiful babies, a suspicion born from a wish for the only two important people in her life to find happiness together.

"He looks a lot like you and Harm." she finally decided "What's his name?"

When she didn't immediately get an answer Mattie looked inquisitively at her hopefully-future parents, who were looking quite embarrassed.

"We haven't gotten that far yet, Mattie." Jen finally admitted sheepishly "Everything's been happening so fast we haven't even had time to pick a name."

Harm looked equally embarrassed, but only shrugged mutely "It's been a busy day, Matts."

"You can say that again." Jen muttered, looking at the bundle in her arms.

"It's been a busy day." Harm repeated mischeviously, eyes sparkling with humor, causing Mattie to giggle softly and Jen shake her head in exasperated amusement.

"What have I gotten myself into?" Jen frowned, but there was a twinkle in her eyes.

"If you haven't come up with a name can I make a suggestion?" Mattie looked at them hopefully.

"Sure, go ahead."

"How about William?"

Harm looked thoughtful "William. William Rabb. A good, strong name." he nodded approvingly.

"I like it too." Jen responded, looking down at her son "What do you think? Do you feel like a William?"

The baby of course said nothing, just slept on.

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**Reviews are love, give me lots of 'em!**


	12. Chapter 12

Gah, you wouldn't believe what a struggle this and the next few chapters were.

Sure, this one is short, but the next one is HUUUUUUUUGE and another reason why I'm not posting them together is because I'm still a little unsure about it.

RL sucks when you have to do something that sucks every creative drop out of you.

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As Harm pushed Jen, Will in her arms, down Bethesda's lobby in the hospital-policy required wheelchair she couldn't help but note "This is weird."

Looking down at them he chuckled, agreeing "Yeah, I know. It certainly isn't something I thought would be in my plans for 2004 when we were ringing in the New Year."

Struck with a thought she looked up at him "Do your parents know yet?"

Harm refused to meet her eyes.

"Harm?" she prodded gently.

He sighed heavily "No, I haven't told them yet."

"Sirrrr..." she moaned exasperatedly.

Harm winced as a passerby sent them an astonished, slightly suspicious look.

"Still not used to calling me Harm, huh?" he grinned "Better get used to it unless you want other people to get their own ideas of our relationship."

"What, you're afraid they'll think we're into domination/submission?" she asked impishly, her smile widening when Harm looked at her surprised.

It took Harm a second to recover, talk about such sexual practices was the last thing he'd ever expected to hear from Jen "No, I'm more concerned about service personnel hearing us and thinking we're either having an affair or thinking we're a CO and subordinate that are a little too close."

That snapped Jen out of her grinning and she looked around with a chastised look, remembering they were in a military hospital with everyone around being military.

"Oops."

Harm chuckled "Yeah, oops."

"Maybe we should just stamp our foreheads with "married". I know the company that makes them for JAG." Jen suggested, barely holding a straight face.

"With red or blue ink?" Harm asked and they chuckled, quieting when the baby made a few complaining noises in his sleep.

Jen looked at him shrewdly, completely on to his game "You're evading the question."

Harm sighed "Yeah, I know. I WILL call her, I promise, I just don't know yet how exactly I'll put it. I can't just say ' Mom, guess what? You're a grandma and a mother-in-law.' She'll have a stroke."

"Or squeal you deaf." Jen giggled.

Harm nodded "That too. I've been deafend enough for this year and it's not even June."

The reminder of how easily Harm could've died was like a bucket of cold water on Jen's good mood. Not that she was keeping a tally, but that was yet another black mark on MacKenzie and that spook as far as Jen was concerned.

Harm could've died without ever knowing a child of his, his firstborn and son at that, was about to be born.

And the Rabb Curse would've continued...

That was another thing... Jen hated making demands, it wasn't in her nature and she was stil unsure in her position as his wife, but sooner or later she would need to have a talk with him.

She didn't want him to change, she loved him because of the man he was, the man who cared about other people, even complete strangers, but he was a father now and she hoped he would for the good of his son avoid taking unnecessary risks.

Fact was, Harm took many risks on a regular basis, with most of those risks being unnecessary. Sure, his job in the military brought risks with it, but he was _not_ in the frontline troops, he was safely back in DC. The last thing she wanted was to have a folded flag handed to her someday.

While that was probably the standpoint of every wife that cares about her husband Jen had more reasons to worry and make demands and that was the already-mentioned Rabb Curse.

From what Trish Burnett had told her during the older woman's March visit, no Rabb man of the 20th century had lived long enough to see his firstborn reach the age of 10.

Harm's father had been shot down when Harm was only 6 and even though he'd survived he'd been taken from his family's lives just as if he'd been killed, perhaps with even worse consequences.

Harm's grandfather, John Rabb, had been killed in Pearl Harbor before his son had even been born.

Harm's great-grandfather, George Rabb, had died in WWI while his son had still been a baby.

That was as far back Trish, who'd told Jen, knew for sure about the Rabb history since the only Rabb she'd known had been Sarah Rabb. Since Sarah Rabb had lived on the opposite side of the country until her natural death in 2003, Trish hadn't spent much time with her mother-in-law and thus didn't know more about the Rabb line.

All of these men had been in the military, just like Harm...

The statistics told a clear and frightening story and with the numerous scrapes Harm had had in his life even before the Navy, heck, in this year alone, it was a wonder he was still with them.

And Jen was determined to make sure he would be around for a long time to come.

Hopefully Will would choose civilian life, meet a nice girl and settle down. With Mattie determined to join the Navy, which would give Jen enough gray hair as it was, she didn't need Will to add even more.

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By this time they'd arrive to the main entrance/exit of the hospital.

Harm took will from Jen's arms and then help her get out of the wheelchair, which they then returned to a nearby nurse.

Keeping the infant in his arms, relishing the opportunity to hold his son, Harm then led the way to his Lexus, where it was standing in the short-term parking space.

Getting underway took longer than usual since neither of them had had any kind of experience in traveling with babies or baby car seats, so they first had to figure out how to properly strap in the now wide awake Will, who was kicking and squirming.

Once they were done, they looked at each other from the opposite rear doors and sighed in relief, chuckling a little.

"Never knew this could be so hard to do." Harm commented amused.

"Me neither." replied Jen, both unaware this had been the easiest time. From now on they would also have to lug a huge bundle of baby supplies EVERYWHERE they went and after that also deal with a stroller, that had to be collapsed and carefully packed in the boot and then taken out to be assembled everytime they went somewhere.

Ignorance is bliss, they say, so Jen again sighed in relief and tucked some hair back behind her ear. Harm's arm twitched and he barely stopped himself from doing the same with her other ear.

Instead he smiled at her, climbed out of the car, closed the rear door and got into the driver's seat, waiting for Jen to get in before starting the engine.

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They'd been on the road for only a minute, have barely passed the exit checkpoint, when Harm spoke up.

"You can take a nap and I'll wake you when we arrive. I know you must be tired."

Jen's head turned to him, her voice filled with dry humor "I'd rather not, I've been sleeping so much the past few days it's completely messed up my bio-rhythm."

Harm nodded his head and made a compassionate noise.

Had either of them had had any sort of personal experience of taking care of a newborn they would've quickly found the flaw in Jen's logic. The thing with newborns is that you sleep when _they_ sleep. That "sleep" also isn't the REM sleep people usually enjoy through the night, but power naps between feedings, be it day or night.

They would learn soon enough though.

When Harm was silent for the next five minutes Jen, surprised at the silence, looked at him to ask what was wrong, but seeing his face scrunched up deep in thought told her he would tell her when he was ready.

Though, seeing that frown on his face, Jen suddenly had a flashback to seeing that very same face somewhere else. It was exactly the same, every little detail, just on a miniature scale.

She wasn't ignorant what it said about Harm's trust in her that he'd believed her immediately when she'd said _he_ was Will's father. It was a delicate and very important matter, especially since she was all too aware there were plenty of women out there who didn't and wouldn't hesitate planting one man's child to another man as his.

He'd had all the right to question the child's paternity since he didn't remember having sex with her and because he knew nothing about her sex life. He didn't know no other man but he had taken pleasure in her body. He was fully in his right to want DNA testing, but the thought hadn't even occured to him. He trusted her, he trusted she would never lie to him, particularly about something as important as this.

He'd accepted her word as the truth without even a sliver of doubt and had then even married her, to give them all a real family and their child legitimacy.

Amazement, happiness, bewilderment, overwhelmness and humility all warred within her at the fact Harm trusted her so utterly and completely.

What had she done to deserve this trust and loyalty? She hadn't done anything special, just been his friend and showed her appreciation for what _he'd_ done for her, for believing in her.

In the modesty and self-effacement that was so much a part of her Jen simply didn't realize she never did "just" something, she always went well above and beyond for people important to her. With her inherently good and sweet personality and honest character Jen had proven herself to Harm and others during the past two and a half years. With her self-sacrificing character and selflessness she'd then won Harm over, to the point where he was far from taking her for granted.

Like he'd told her a short while ago: _"What would I ever do without you?"_

Harm cherished her friendship, was infinitely grateful he had her in his life and there was nothing he wouldn't do for her.

Yet, Jen didn't know all that, she didn't see herself as someone special nor did she see anything special in what she'd done for her friends, that's why Harm's utter trust in her completely blew her mind.

Had she not been already in love with the man she would've surely fallen for him now.

But there was nothing she wanted more than for him to one day return her feelings.

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**AN: planting one man's child to another man as his... **unfortunately it's not fiction, it happens regularly, I've actually found a statistic last year.

But that's not how I was inspired for that part of this chapter: a few years ago I talked to another author on ff. net (she's a woman) who told me if she got pregnant by a one night stand while in relationship with someone else, that she wouldn't tell her partner about her cheating him and would thus make him believe the child was his. I don't know if it was her real reasoning or simply a lie, but after I asked her why in the world would she do that she said it's because the relationship would mean too much to her to destroy it that way.

I didn't say anything more since it didn't seem worth it to me, but I could see many flaws in that logic, starting with sleeping with men other her partner, but mainly making that whole relationship and family life into a lie. Personally I think in that case she would've obliterated that relationship the very moment she decided to lie.

For a normal, healthy long-term relationship (family and/or marriage) to succeed I personally think the three main conditions are trust, willingness to compromise and fidelity. Without all these three it's doomed to fail. The best basis is an already established friendship, because that way the man and woman already have trust, know each other well, know at least some part of each other's sexual past and know if the other is liable to cheat or not. It's great if there's romantic love, but it's not necessary. My reasons to believe that are from knowing at least two couples who were friends and then consciously decided to have a family together. To pre-empt any hasty conclusions :P... thus **UNLIKE **Harm and Mac, their "friendship" (if it could be called that, considering the fact that most of the time they weren't friends, just people who were either pretending or were living in a dellusion where they were still friends) and their banal "deal". In the cases I'm talking about the couple actually got along, were compatible and were not constantly fighting or playing some stupid games that were the trademark of HM (I'll be touching on this deal in the next chapter, btw.).

Anyway, that other author's answer and reasoning was the inspiration for that part of this chapter.

I can say only one thing on that: thank god not all women are like that.

Oh, yeah, not just one thing, but two things.

The second is: thank god I'm not her boyfriend/fiancee/husband. That poor fool, I don't envy him. If I were him I'd have the kids' paternity tested, just in case.

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**Reviews are love.**


	13. Chapter 13

The ending ANs will be pretty long, because matters discussed are sensitive and I didn't want to hurt anyone.

I deliberated for a long time whether to leave this chapter like this and post it or just discard it and get on with the story. Even though I dislike Mac as much as I always have I'm trying to avoid bashing her and am thus a little worried that what was meant as a heart-to-heart discussion between two spouses in order to clear the air and make it clear there were no ghosts lingering in the background would come out looking like a bash-fest.

Rest assured it's not. I've always been a big believer of honesty in relationships and am convinced Harm would have such a belief as well once he was with someone who was important to him even before they began a romantic relationship. Like **marye904 **said, without honesty and fidelity you have nothing.

Liking it or not, Mac was a pretty big part of his life and, liking it or not, during the past few years she was the source of mostly unhappiness and pain for him. If he and Jen are to lead a marriage and raise a family together then Jen **must** know where she stands and how much importance and what role Mac still holds with him.

I'd like to thank my readers for their lovely reviews: **Lynnp, MaryCain, Vesja, unwittysidekick, jojobevco, marye904, Saissa, carolfd **and **Michi uk.**

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"Jennifer..."

"Yes, sir?"

Harm was too deep in thought to notice Jen's slip back to honorifics "I know I haven't said anything yet, how I feel about this entire situation, and I'm sorry for holding back on you. I realize now it was cruel of me to keep you in the dark, but..."

"Aye, sir..." seeing his look she amended "Harm... I know what you're getting at and there's nothing to be sorry for. With everything happening so quickly I couldn't really think about everything, just go with the flow, so I didn't blame you either. You must've been just as shell-shocked as I was to suddenly find out you have a baby with an enlisted even though..."

"That's just it, Jen, that's just what I'm trying to get at." he interrupted her, a rude yet necessary thing "What I'm trying to say is... I'm really glad it's you. I mean... I'm really glad you're the one stuck with me in this thing, I can't think of a better woman to have as the mother of my children. I've always known you'd make a great mother someday. I don't want to imagine what it would've been like if it was some other woman..."

Harm's confession brought instant tears to Jen's eyes and her throat was clogged up with emotion. There was nothing more she wanted to tell him than that she was glad it was her too, but there were more pressing matters at hand. There were things she had to make sure of first before she let herself fall.

"Not even LtCol MacKenzie?"

"MAC?" Harm gasped incredulously, cutting a look at her before turning his attention back to the road "Talk about a disaster just waiting to happen..."

A memory came to him, of a scene from five years ago on the steps of JAG HQ. He could now only shake his head at the stupidity that had taken him over to propose such a deal to someone. Talk about being an idiot or just simply getting swept away by excitement.

"She and I would never work."

"Are you sure? You two have always..."

Knowing he needed to get these doubts out of Jen's head ASAP before they festered and poisoned their relationship, Harm cut her off.

"Jen, I realize how things looked and it was true. For a while. But a couple of years ago things started to change and even if they hadn't, this whole last year opened my eyes and made me acknowledge things I didn't want to before. Mac was a mistake, plain and simple, and I regret time wasted on her, it brought me and innocent others nothing but heartache. She and I would've no doubt been a disaster of epic proportions, there's no way a relationship with her would've worked..."

Jen listened attentively, grateful for his offer to give her insight into his thoughts and feelings on this subject. Just like everyone else at the office the strange dance between the two former partners hadn't escaped her either and it was this that had given her restless hours in the few days of her marriage, not to mention years of heartache before that. She knew Harm didn't take family lightly, but what chance would they have of working in the longterm if Mac's shadow and the what-ifs lingered between them?

Hesitating only slightly he continued "Five years ago... Five years ago, about an hour after little AJ was born, Mac and I made a deal. If in five years neither of us was in a serios relationship we'd go half on a child. I was still high on adrenalin from everything that happened because if I hadn't, I wouldn't have made that proposal. It was a bad idea... actually, it was a stupid idea."

Five years... Jen realized with a start those five years would be up in just a few weeks... But, she realized, Harm was now taken, the deal was null and void. Yet, why did he think it was a bad idea? She had to know.

"Why? There are many people, friends, who decide to have children..."

"But in those cases they are _friends_. Something Mac and I have never been capable of being for long. Our relationship was always, from the very start, extremely volatile, something you should never bring kids into. It was never regs that kept us apart, it was ourselves. And damn good thing too..."

For the first time ever Harm was talking about his and Mac's relationship and it felt good. It felt damn good in fact, like a huge load had been lifted off his chest and he could breathe easier now. He was on a roll, Jen was an excellent listener, besides also having the right to know all this, and he would tell her everything.

"How could we succeed in a relationship when we can't even be friends for any length of time! Looking back I realize she and I haven't been friends in a long time, coworkers yes, but nothing more. Just one example is that friends spend free time together and we haven't in over two years... actually I think it's been longer than that. On the other hand, you and I have spent a lot of after-duty time together and I dare say we are friends. Good friends, in fact, perhaps even best friends."

He paused then, taking a deep breath, his next words coming out with difficulty "Besides... as cruel and callous as it may sound, I would never sentence a child of mine to having an alcoholic for it's mother."

Jen was silent for the next mile as she pondered over the revelation. While she was surprised to hear Harm say something like that, she couldn't dispute it. Having seen plenty of times in her father's parish the destructive effects an alcoholic parent has on their family she didn't hold this prejudice against Harm. Talk about a time bomb...

"Does that make me a bad person?"

Jen was surprised at the vulnerability and self-doubt so loud in his words and shook her head as she reassured him, honesty shining in her eyes "No, it doesn't. The only thing it does is make you human."

And that was exactly the crux of the problem. Harm seemed larger than life so many times, for so long, that people simply forgot he wasn't a superhero out of some movie, but an actual person, with fears, convictions, strengths and flaws. He was _human_ and no matter how much Jen had always admired him, looked up to him and later loved him, she'd always been very aware of that.

Harm smiled gratefully at her "Out of everyone who's ever known me as Commander Rabb you're the only one to know that. Everyone else, even at the office, looks at me as if I flew in through the window with a cape flapping behind me, ready to solve all their problems and stop bullets with my chest."

Jen didn't have anything to say to that, she just shrugged mutely, her gaze never wavering from him.

"About what I said earlier... I'd never share anyone's personal secret, but I know you figured it out long ago."

Harm gave Jen a meaningful look. The young woman was far more observant than most people gave her credit for. He bet there was little she hadn't figured out about their coworkers. With her job as a Yeoman she also had the perfect vantage point over the entire bullpen and enough time to study the staff. Not to mention the fact she was studying psychology, so she also had the training and the knowledge to back it up.

Jen smiled enigmatically "You don't have to ask, Harm, this stays only between you and me. Anyway, I had no proof, but I guessed she's a recovering alcoholic. I've known people who didn't drink alcohol and were not drunks, but the way she was always uncomfortable at the staff get-togethers when everyone else was drinking, the way she'd tensed up around alcohol and played with some coin, was what sent the flags up for me. She's also hyper-tense and stuck-up the rest of the time. Then one day I saw the coin and I made a few discreet inquires among the staff. When did she first start?"

Harm didn't have to turn his head, he could feel her gaze burning into the side of his face "High School. Blames her parents on it..."

Jen sighed gently, familiar with the symptom "Addicts usually _do _blame other people for their addictions."

He nodded in agreement "She's never been capable of taking responsibility for her decisions and actions, shoves that blame onto others, and runs from every problem she encounters, never deals with one head-on. That's NOT something I'd want in my partner and a potential mother for my children."

That rang true for what Jen had observed and what others had told her of the cold Marine. She also agreed with Harm's last statement, parenting is too responsible and immense task to go into it, if you can help it, with a partner who is difficult to live with to begin with and known for unreliability.

"Did she really fall off the wagon a couple of years back? The staff still talks about it, she was seen in the tavern getting drunk."

Harm nodded "At least once that I know of since meeting her."

"So, you're afraid that if at some point in the future a pressure got too much she'd fall off the wagon again."

It was a statement, not a question, but Harm still answered.

"Yeah, pretty much sums it up."

They fell silent then and the quiet lasted for the next couple of miles, only the noise of their child breaking the monotony as Harm navigated the heavy traffic.

Jen twisted around to look in the back seat to check on Will, missing Harm's fond smile as she did so. He really _had_ always known she'd make a fantastic mother, something that was now being continually confirmed and he truly was a lucky bastard to have gotten her.

His voice jolted her out of her own musings as he finally decided to share that last important piece of information with her that would give him a new start, free of the shackles of the past "I had a daydream earlier this year, you know? At your wet-down?"

She nodded, confirming. Her mind reeled, what else would he tell her? Sure, she'd wanted him to share his feelings with her, but this was getting a little overwhelming. No wonder he never did this before, cause he obviously couldn't stop. Or, perhaps, he couldn't stop because he'd never done this before and it had accumulated until it had reached the bursting point.

"I did notice you were in your own world during dinner, but I thought it was because of the fortune cookies."

"It was, partially, but they were merely the catalyst. Actually, it was more of a prophetic vision of how the past 4 years would've been had I reacted differently to Mac's advances during a case in Australia."

"What was it like? The vision..."

"Mac and I were married, 3 years running."

Jen frowned, no longer sure she wanted to hear everything, but Harm needed to get it out.

"And we were getting divorced."

Jen's head whipped around to stare at him at that surprising statement, her eyes widening.

"Divorced?"

"Yes."

"What happened?"

"Everything I already told you. We just ignored it all when we got together, thinking with our libidos instead of our brains. After all, if we can't make a friendship work, how could we ever make a marriage work... In the vision she was also cheating on me, with John Farrow, her ex-CO. I can't remember clearly whether we were divorcing because of her affair or if the affair came later."

"It doesn't matter." argued Jen vehemently, trying to feverishly remember where she'd heard the name Farrow before "A marriage is a marriage and even if it's on shaky grounds a person shouldn't cheat. In sickness and health, 'till death or a judge do us part... Until the papers were signed by all and notarized there shouldn't be other people. Were there any children involved?" the question was painful, even though the talk was about something that didn't actually happen. Just as she poised it, it clicked... John Farrow, CO... Mac had been guilty of fraternisation and perjury, for something she not only wasn't punished, but in a true perversion of justice was rewarded for with a very early promotion.

"No." Harm shook his head "That was another thing. If no children in a three years long marriage of two people mine and Mac's ages doesn't say everything about it, I don't know what does."

Turned to look at him, she clearly saw Harm glance into the rearview mirror to check on their son and smiled softly. It was true... she couldn't imagine Harm not wanting to wait long to have children once he got married, and she definitely couldn't imagine him not having children with a woman to whom he'd been married for 3 years if it was a happy, functioning and stable marriage. Even before Mattie had entered their lives it had always been painfully obvious just how much the man wanted a family of his own. After Jen had gotten settled into the Navy and noticed his yearning _she'd _wanted to be the one to give him that family, but had always believed that to be impossible.

And now, here she was, married to him as they drove their brand-new baby home from the hospital. Sometimes Fate really does work in mysterious ways...

"But the thing is... I realized that that wasn't just some daydream, it went deeper. It's what I've always believed deep down would happen if me and Mac ever get involved. Subconsciously I never expected a relationship to work, just as I expected her to eventually cheat on me. It made me openly acknowledge to myself everything I never wanted to."

"That evening was what completed the circle for me. After a year-long progress in healing my heart and moving on I finally let go."

By this time they arrived before their building and Harm parked the car, shutting off the engine before turning to Jen. Taking her hands in his own he captured her eyes with intensity that made her breath catch.

"That's why never, ever, doubt in me, Jennifer. There is nothing and no-one with the power to destroy our family, I'm fully committed and no other woman has any sort of claim left on me."

He may not have said the words... screw it, what he'd said was worth much more than that three words overused phrase some people are so stuck on, obssessed with, to the point of being blind to everything else, to even the clearest signs. Jen didn't need the words, because she could read Harm, she could read it in his actions, his behavior, she could read it between the lines and she could read the writing on the wall. She'd never been happier in her entire life.

Jen's eyes prickled, then filled before she could stop them. A tear broke through, hurrying down her bronze cheek and she wiped it away impatiently, evading Harm's eyes, as she made up an excuse "Sorry, hormones."

Once she got herself under control she looked back up at him, as he was still holding her hands in suport.

"Thank you." she sniffled "And for the record, I'm glad it's you, too."

Her reward was something she hadn't seen in a long time, but had missed it terribly: Harm's honest flyboy grin.

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**AN:** about alcoholism... there's nothing really to say to that, considering I'm sure everyone here has at least an idea what it does to relationships, marriages, families,... Alcoholics never stop being alcoholics and become non-alcoholics or ex-alcoholics, they're merely recovering alcoholics, dry. Getting involved with someone like that can prove to be a big risk.

Perhaps I'm transplanting this belief onto Harm, but as someone to whom his children would mean everything to him, I really do believe he would feel that way about getting involved as an alcoholic. Even though he was portrayed as nauseatingly politically correct, he was still pretty down to Earth guy. Even if it wasn't mentioned much (or at all) since S5, Mac was still a long-time alcoholic and fell off the wagon at least once during the show, therefore she was a big risk for a relationship, cause she could easily fall off the wagon again if the pressure got too much, like Mattie's father did. The fact that Harm was after Mac for so many years, after all the crap that happened between them, and even after **What If**, doesn't dispute my theory, only support it.

Why?

_Because sometimes it's impossible for people to admit they threw away time, effort, money, love,... on someone or something that would never work and simply refuse to move on cause that would be seen as quitting, even though continuing to hold on is clearly unhealthy and even harmful and more expensive than cutting one's losses and giving up. _ That goes for relationships as well and that's why I think Harm was still interested in Mac after everything she did and said to hurt him... he simply refused to acknowledge he'd wasted all those years and all the chances for happiness with someone else; on someone with whom it would never work.

There's also the target fixation factor, something Harm was unfortunately famous for. :)

The episode **What If** was an excellent ep as it gave us incredible insight into Harm's actual, realistic, but most of all **critical** view of Mac and what he thought a relationship with her would be like. While the years of JAG were filled with Mac criticising and attacking Harm this was the only other instance of Harm saying anything honest and uncensored about her to her (the other being that one time about how she got accepted into the Law School - which, even though it enraged Mac fans, was completely true). While he may have a long fuse in keeping his opinions of people to himself, he does eventually reach the point where he's brutally honest. That Harm is the Harm in my fics.

On the other hand Mac made hundreds of cutting remarks, even till the very end of the show. For example, one she made very shortly before the time this fic takes place was in **Trojan Horse** about Harm getting bored with Mattie like she's a toy and not a person whom he cares deeply about and him going through women [like going through shirts/underwear/being a womanizer/playboy], while she made herself look good (at least in her mind - her saying that she fell in love and out of love inspired a comment by an anonymous member on some forum: "Who would Mac fall in love THIS week?" - and, no, I can't claim ownership of this, unfortunately).

The ep cemented Harm as a real person, with his own opinions that were sometimes not politically correct (thank god, who in their right mind would want him to be a Lemming...) and not-all-utopistic view of people around him. something the writers usually avoided since they wanted him an action hero, flying planes and killing terrorists. In **What If** though we could for the first time see he actually didn't believe he and Mac would work as lovers/spouses (lets ignore that train ticket being carried away by the wind, since that had nothing to do with them not working out - as we could see in that ep they were a disaster as spouses; but was only a corny ploy to continue stringing HM fans along) and also (just as important) the fact that he had **never** actually expected Mac to be able to stay faithful in a relationship to any man, not even him, as we saw her openly in a relationship with Farrow while she was still married to Harm - and not being charged with adultery (yet again given preferrential treatment). What was also refreshing to see was Harm standing up to Mac and fighting her personal decisions regarding him, which was something he never did before (though, the stupid fool was fighting the wrong decisions - instead he should've taken the opportunity, given her the divorce, thus saving his ass :D ). Hm, on the other hand, it was probably because he knew Mac would take everything he had in the divorce proceedings. Mac always was pretty vindictive...

Or just shoot him dead to make it easier... after all, she's had practice in it, lol.

Now, I may write **Harm having a very cynical and even negative opinion of Mac**, but hell, it's not something that grew in my garden, it's **canon**.

PS: I'm high-fiving myself on the last sentence. -evil cackle- :-P

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**Reviews are love. Updates are love too, but if I'm not updating, it doesn't mean I don't love ya' guys, it just means RL/inspiration is kicking me in the bollocks. :-)**


	14. Chapter 14

I'm sorry for this long wait, but I had huge problems with the inspiration for this chapter. Hit quite a few blockades along the way to finishing it, but now I'm pretty satisfied with the final result. Hopefully you'll feel the same.

**As always, huge thanks to my lovely readers jojobevco, Saissa, marye904, Captain J 737, Michi uk, carolfd, unwittysidekick and Lynnp for their heartwarming reviews.**

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Getting out, this time the wrestle match that was getting a baby out of the car was thankfully a little shorter and easier than getting the baby into the car for the first time.

Harm handed Will over to Jen while he got out the grocery purchases he'd made on the way to Bethesda and secured the vehicle.

Making light talk they boarded the elevator, their conversation occasionally interrupted by their son's cooing. Jen was mesmerized with the little being in her arms, still unable to believe she'd carried, sheltered and grew him in her body for 9 months.

When they arrived to their destination Jen froze in the middle of the hallway, looking bewilderedly between her own and Harm's doors.

Her current situation was a direct opposition to the concept of family she'd had for her entire life and she honestly didn't know what to do. Should she take the baby to her own apartment, which smelled a little of making some kind of statement to her (she didn't know what kind of statement, but was sure there was one) or should she follow Harm into apartment that wasn't _hers_. In her belief a family should live together, not across the hall, passing the baby from one parent to the other like some kind of a ball.

Seeing her hesitation and remembering what he wanted to talk to her about Harm gently nudged her "Come on, come into my apartment for a few minutes."

Glad for some direction that solved her momentary confusion Jen followed him in, watching as he put away his purchases.

Cuddling the now sleeping baby closed to her body she let her eyes roam over the cozy interior of her husband's abode (it was still strange of think of him that way and she was sure that novelty wouldn't disappear soon).

She frowned when she saw something in the living room.

"Harm?" she called out softly, careful not to wake William.

"Yeah?" his head poked out from under the island.

"Why is there a bassinet in your apartment?"

He grimaced in anticipation of the awkward talk he knew could be avoided no more and stopped what he was doing, getting to his feet.

Directing her to the couch he took the armchair opposite and took a minute to gather his thoughts as she silently waited.

"Jennifer... I was thinking... perhaps it would be better if you and Will moved in with me."

"What? Why?" her mind raced a mile a second, considering all the ramifications of such an action.

He sighed.

"We're married now and Will is my child too. I'm not planning to shirk my responsibilities to you two."

She looked at him awkwardly, a little embarrassed "Where would I sleep? Neither of us would get any rest on the couch and I'm definitely not letting you sleep there with your bad back."

"That's good to know for the future." Harm tried, but his joke fell flat in light of her seriousness.

He dropped any atempt for levity and rubbed his face with his hands, emotionally exhausted from the last couple of days.

"You'd sleep in my bed." her wide, incredulous eyes were his answer "We're adults, Jennifer, it's not like we can't handle ourselves..."

"Yup and we have a baby to prove it!" Jen nodded mockingly and Harm winced, acknowledging the truth in her argument.

Seeing he was losing he used the ace in his sleeve "What about Mattie? I don't know anything about babies, but I do know they have trouble sleeping... I can still remember Bud the first couple of months after AJ was born..."

Jen opened her mouth to respond, but they were interrupted by Mattie bursting into the room, depositing her school bag by the door, as she skipped to Jen, immediately appropriating the newest member of their family.

"Hey, you two!" she finally greeted them, then frowned at their serious expressions "What's going on? What were you talking about before I came in?"

"Hey, Matts." Harm greeted, Jen echoing.

"You sure Janice's mom didn't mind picking you up while went to get Jen and William?"

"Nah, she was cool." Mattied dismissed, getting back to the matter at hand, not letting him distract her "You still didn't tell me what you were talking about."

Harm sighed "I was just trying to persuade Jen to move in with me."

"Oh..." Mattie stopped, then grinned, her eyes twinkling mischeviously "Wow, you work fast, Harm, but isn't she supposed to wait for a couple of weeks for everything to heal up first?"

She observed with delight as her two guardians blushed. Jen looked down at her hands, reddening in embarrassment. Had Mattie somehow read her mind? Jen knew she was nowhere ready to make that important step with Harm (this time sober), neither physically nor emotionally - her hormones were still making her feel like a Bipolar Susie and she wanted to be all there when she and Harm finally made their marriage a real one. IF they ever did it...

That low level embarrassement over her attraction to the man and her long-standing wish to share his bed were paradoxically the only reasons she was hesitant about the idea.

"Mattie!" Harm exclaimed, scandalised and embarrassed, disbelieving Mattie would really say something like that.

"Sorry." Mattie apologised, but she was anything but. Those two were just too cute for her not to rib them a little "What then?"

Harm stopped, thought for a second, then tried a different approach "You know how babies are... not sleeping through the night... right?"

"Yeah, I heard about that from Harriet. So?"

"You're going to school and need your sleep and you won't get any if you have a newborn in your apartment."

Mattie looked down, mesmerised by the aquamarine eyes staring up unfocused "Aw, Will's not gonna be a problem, Harm, he's a darling. Jen and I can handle the little guy. Right, Jen?"

Jen nodded.

Mattie nodded emphatically, turning to her guardian "Don't worry about us, Harm, we can do it."

Harm didn't look so sure, but conceded nonetheless, knowing they would have to make that step sooner or later.

Mattie nodded in satisfaction, looking down at her baby brother as she tickled his stomach "We can do this." she promised herself.

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"I can't do this!" Mattie sobbed as she collapsed into a kitchen chair.

Harm frowned sympathetically, putting a glass of orange juice and a fresh croissant in front of her.

"I don't think I slept for an hour last night, the baby kept crying all the time." Mattie continued on the edge of a crying jag of exhaustion.

Harm could see the bags around her eyes when she lifted her head to nibble listlessly at her food and could only sigh.

Perhaps, if Jen still wasn't receptive to his plan, he could at least take Will for the next night to let Jen and Mattie get some rest.

No, scratch that idea, it wasn't do-able.

He was namely missing two pieces of anatomy that any normal guy appreciates and since Jen's made no noise about buying any artificial supplements he was guessing Jen was planning on making sure their son's food was healthy and natural.

Sure, formulas had gotten better, but Harm still had in his mind pictures of babies with horribly enlarged heads and other side-effects. He would need to have a talk with Jen so they would find a solution that would be best for their son.

"Jen still sleeping?"

"Yeah." mumbled Mattie "She got up a couple of hours ago to feed William."

Harm winced, knowing from a book for new fathers that he'd bought that Jen would have to wake up again soon to again feed the baby.

"You ready?"

Mattie nodded reluctantly and stood. Soon they were on their way to Mattie's school, after which Harm would drop by HQ for an hour and make the last couple of arrangement before going on paternity leave.

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**Reviews are love.**


	15. Chapter 15

Sorry this is not an update, but it's vastly more important than a mere update.

A lot of amazing stories were lost when Semper Meg yahoo group and webiste went down.

I've been preparing this for some time, so this is the **SPECIAL OFFER**!

If anyone wants to get their hands on the** BIGGEST collection of Harm/Meg OF ALL TIMES **(I can guarantee no-one else has so many and all these Harm/Meg fics), send me a PM with your email address in this way:

your. email email. com

Don't forget to put a space after each dot, understroked line and () so that the ffn filter won't delete your email address.

**Knowledge of working with RAR files required because the collection will be sent in one RAR file.**

Among these stories are also fics of the NC-17 variety, but they're not in any special folder. so reader discretion required.

There are also some uncompleted stories and stories written in the German language, both of these are each in their own folder.

There are some absolutely fantastic stories in this collection, so definitely worth a read, not just because they offer a glimpse into the beginning of our beloved show, before it was destroyed.

I wonder why I never thought of this. **Most, if not all, the fics I have stored can't probably be found anywhere anymore**, it's doubtful even the people who wrote them (IF they can even be reached) still have them somewhere. In case anything ever happens to me I don't want this wonderful collection of literature be lost forever.

I'm making another two RAR files with **Harm/Jen **files and **Harm/Loren **stories if anyone wants them...

Thanks to the Wayback Machine I could also recover the Semper Meg! Archive (without the spaces):

web. archive. org/web/20001006080509/tnas. simplenet. com/archive. htm

**BEWARNED I AM SHARING THESE STORIES WITHOUT THE PERMISSION OF THEIR AUTHORS, BE THEY OLD STORIES OR NEWER STORIES, BUT ALL STORIES HAVE CLEARLY MARKED AUTHORS (ESPECIALLY THE NEW ONES). I WROTE NONE OF THESE STORIES, NOR DO I CLAIM I HAVE.**


	16. Chapter 16

I know, I know, it's been a long time since I updated this, but the writer's block I was (and still am) battling is the likes I've rarely experienced. Hell, I don't even know what to say in this author's notes! Except for: does anyone know Dragonlady's real last name? I don't mean JAG's Dragonlady (couldn't disappoint you all by not taking the chance to make a dig at Mac :P), but her teacher from 9x15 "Crash"?

Hopefully everyone who requested the fanfic archives also received them and enjoyed those amazing old stories.

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The day went by in a very, very, very, very, EXTREMELY slow blur for Mattie as she struggled to focus on her teachers' droning voices. That went somewhat okay, but reading and understanding the words written on the blackboard was a completely different problem. She also couldn't understand why Katy, sitting next to her, was giggling quietly whenever she looked over into Mattie's notebook.

Mattie's head nicked and when she jerked back up she noticed the teacher standing in front of her, a pissed off expression on her face.

Mattie wasn't sure she'd ever seen any other expression than pissed off on the older woman's face, but this one went beyond that. The Witch obviously needed to get laid occasionally, like at least once every 10 years.

The entire classroom was deathly silent as the students' expressions expressed from amusement, maliciousness to sympathy.

"Taking a little nap, are we? Is the topic not interesting enough for you, Miss Grace? Or am _I _the problem?"

Mattie winced "I'm sorry, Mrs Prachett, but I didn't get any sleep last night. My roommate just had a baby and it cried throughout the night."

The old hag didn't look not one bit sympathetic and Mattie never hated a person more than she did that moment.

"I don't care about that, Mattie, you can't just fall asleep in the middle of the class! Please tell your roommate and your irresposible guardian I want to talk to them personally. And make sure he knows this time he's supposed to be there in person and not "away on Navy business" again. Otherwise I will see no other choice but to report him to the CPS for child abandonment."

Mattie, bleary eyed, glared at the woman.

Dragonlady had never warmed up to either Mattie or the two most important people in her life. Knowing it was useless to argue with the hateful woman, who seemed to have gotten into her head that Harm was the worst scum in the world, Mattie refrained from saying anything but "Yes, ma'am." through gritted teeth.

Mrs Pratchett glared at her one last time before going back to what she'd been talking about, unaware of the daggers thrown at her.

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Harm was just driving home from JAG when it struck him, nearly making him face-palm himself.

_Crap, I forgot to call Mom and Frank to tell them about Jen and Will! Mom's not gonna be happy I waited this long, especially when she finds out I was so drunk that I slept with a woman and then couldn't remember it._

He winced, knowing just how much additional disappointment from his mother that would get him.

The truth was he was afraid of disappointing her. As much as Jen had always meant to him and now Will too, the idea of knocking up a woman with a one night stand had forever been his worst nightmare scenario. Trish would no doubt be disappointed in him for not having used protection, even as she would be thrilled over the new addition to the family

_Oh, well, no time like the present._

Pulling over in an empty parking spot Harm turned the engine off and fished out his cell phone, then dialed the number.

It took 10 rings before the familiar female voice appeared.

"Hi, mom."

"Harm!" his mom's voice revealed her delight at hearing from her son "So good to hear from you!"

"Hey, Mom. Sorry, for not calling you recently, but it's been pretty busy around here lately."

_Talk about understating..._

"Too busy to call your only mother?" Trish asked teasingly.

Harm sighed heavily "Believe it or not, but yes."

"Not that it isn't nice hearing from you, but you don't usually call in the middle of the day. Is something wrong, has something bad happened?"

"No, nothing's bad happened, more the opposite. Are you sitting, Mom?"

"No, right now..."

"Then sit down, I've got something to tell you." interrupted Harm gently.

"Okay, I'm sitting." she responded hesitantly, cautious over Harm's reasons for this strange request "What is this about?"

_Well, it's now or never..._

"You've become a grandmother a couple of days ago."

Quickly Harm took the phone away from his ear, not disappointed when an exalted squeal could be heard through the small speaker.

"You adopted Mattie? Oh, that's wonderful!" Trish exclaimed and he could hear her calling for Frank, then return to the phone "I didn't know you had a custody hearing, honey, I thought it was in June..."

"No, Mom, I didn't adopt Mattie. At least, not yet." Harm rushed to repair the damage.

"Then what?" Trish stopped "You mean...?"

"Yeah." Harm nodded, forgetting his mother couldn't see him, then recited as if reading a news article "Four days ago, at 1436 hours local, William Rabb was born at National Naval Medical Center in Bethesda to Harmon and Jennifer Rabb. He was a little underweight and a bit smaller than average, but that's normal considering the circumstances..."

When nothing, not even breathing, could be heard from the other side Harm got worried "Mom? Mom, you there?"

Through the phone he could suddenly hear Frank's voice, calling Trish's name, before the man picked up the phone "Hello? Who's there?"

"Frank?" Harm asked relieved "It's me. Harm."

"Harm." Frank said with a voice that was a mix of relief, happiness and worry "What did you say to your mother? She looks like she had a heart-attack."

Despite his joking demeanor he was in the meantime running a quick check of his wife, taking her pulse and making sure she hadn't really suffered a stroke.

"Is she okay?" Harm asked worriedly.

"I think so." drawled Frank thoughtful "The best I can figure is she's in complete shock. What did you say to her, anyway?"

"You sitting, Frank?"

"No. Why?" Frank frowned at the receiver.

"You better sit down."

"Okay, I'm sitting. Now what's this you've got to say?"

"Well... it's like this..."

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Satisfied, Harm closed his cell phone. While ecstatic over the news he'd become a grandparent Frank had managed to keep his composure and promise they'd be on the first flight to DC.

Pocketing the small device he resumed his drive home, relieved this burden had been relieved off his shoulder.

When he left his building's old freight elevator he heard movement in the other apartment. Looking inside he saw Jen awake, having just finished nursing Will.

Letting her know he was going to make something to eat he left for his own place. A few minutes later the hunger had brought Jen over and soon he was soothing her empty stomach with a rich breakfast.

He chose his moment to break the news while she was eating, figuring she was the most coherent right then.

"I hate doing this, but I'm not giving you a choice anymore."

Jen stopped eating and looked up at him with wide eyes, full of questions.

"After you're finished with your meal we'll start moving your things into my apartment."

He stopped Jen's incredulous protests with a raised hand "The current setup isn't working, Jen, you're not getting enough sleep and I would like to help with Will. Maybe it sounds stupid, but I would like to feel like a real father, which I don't with how things are right now. Besides, Mattie looked like a zombie when I took her to school."

Jen's eyes fell "I'm sorry."

Harm reached out and took her small hand in his, bringing her gaze back on to him "You have nothing to be sorry for, honey. I know you're not sure about sleeping in my bed, but the fact is we're married and _we have a baby_, so I think we're past that."

Jen blushed heavily, causing Harm to chuckle, earning himself a dirty look.

"But..."

"I think you know me well enough to know I won't force myself on you, even if you weren't still healing."

Jen looked appalled at the idea of even entertaining such a thought and furiously shook her head "No, I know you'd never do something like that, I just..."

Smiling softly, Harm took her hand "Jen, we have a baby, so besides the fact that we intend to stay together for the rest of our lives and the... feelings we have for each other, we obviously like the other _in that way_. We agreed not to rush anything, but I think we're both fully aware we'll get there in the near future, it's just a matter of time. Continuing this charade would be just making our lives needlessly hard for us and our family."

Jen nodded and, seeing he'd won the battle for them, Harm finished with amusement "Besides, just imagine how confused Will would be if his Mommy and Daddy slept in different rooms, but regularly sneaked into the other's bed."

The visual was too funny and Jen giggled heartily. Once she settled down and was serious again she looked at him with a pensive look "I realized something too. We'll have to start looking for a bigger apartment or a house. Once Will is big enough he'll need his own room."

"Yeah, I know." Harm nodded "That's why I brought the newspaper. I figured we could look through the ads together."

Jen's eyes shined "I'd like that."

Harm grinned happily as he went to fetch the paper, when he remembered something.

"Oh, btw., my parents are flying in this afternoon..."

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**Reviews are love.**


	17. Chapter 17

A little something to tie you over.

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That afternoon, when Harm pulled up to the curb in front of the school, his ward was already waiting. Saying her goodbyes to Andre Mattie then ran for the car, breathing heavily from the gallop as she got in.

"Why did you bring the Lexus?" were Mattie's first words when she climbed into the vehicle, forgetting her skirmish with the teacher as her curiosity took hold.

"What, no ' hello', ' how are you' ?" Harm responded, half-jokingly and half-seriously.

"Sorry. Hi, how was your day?" obeyed Mattie, making sure to sound like a robot before she couldn't contain her curiosity anymore "Soooooo? I'm waiting?"

Harm chuckled "We've got a delivery to make."

"Delivery?" Mattie shot him dubious looks as if he'd just suggested her to go cycling around the world "What kind of delivery?"

"You'll see..."

Mattie kept pestering him with questions, especially tenacious when she realized they were going to the airport, but Harm revealed nothing.

They parked the car and entered the main building, Harm purposely walking to a destination only he knew.

"You know, maybe we should have them called over the PA... maybe they've already arrived." suggested Mattie cleverly.

"Nice try, but no chance." Harm smirked at his ward, causing her to pout.

There was no need to fend off any probing questions anymore though, because soon after they'd arrived at the gate the PA announced that the flight from San Diego was landing.

Mattie's eyes widened and a delighted grin took over "Really?"

"Yes, really." Harm nodded.

"That's great!" squealed the young girl enthusiastically.

Harm had to chuckle at the impatience with which she was waiting for the passengers to disembark.

"Harm, Mattie!"

Hearing a familiar voice call out, Mattie turned towards it, a smile immediately stretching her face as she recognized the expensively dressed couple walking towards them.

Immediately after she had taken Harm into her arms, Trish let him go and turned to his young companion whom Frank had meanwhile greeted, while the two men shook hands.

"Mattie, honey, so lovely to see you again!"

Mattie beamed as Trish embraced her, returning the hug, before breaking away "Great to see you too, Mrs..."

A dismissive wave of hand stopped her "We already discussed this, honey, just call me Trish. Or, considering the newest developments, Grandma and Grandpa. That is, if you want to?"

A tear broke away and Mattie sniffed "I'd love to!"

Another long, emotional hug followed, and, observing the torrent of emotions Frank stepped closer to Harm, who seemed equally uncomfortable with the open sentimentality the two women had no problem in engaging, to quietly ask him "How you holding up, son?"

Harm jerked, Frank's voice had startled him out of his thoughts "Good, thanks for asking."

"Harm, you're talking to the guy who knew you were planning to enter the Academy even if you were talking about other Colleges. Give me a little credit here."

Harm sighed, deflating, he knew Frank was right. For all the antagonism he'd had for the man he'd never been able to deny the fact that Frank had always been good to his mother and to Harm and had stuck up for him with Trish on numerous occasions. The fact that sometimes Harm'd felt as if Frank could literally read his mind had not helped ease their relationship, but surprisingly Frank had never "used this power for evil".

"Still a little overwhelmed." Harm finally admitted "It's like I'm on this never-ending loop of taking off and making traps, blindfolded and tied to the back seat."

Frank chuckled compassionately.

"You hear of people having a rough time getting used to parenthood, but they have it easy, they had 9 months to prepare for it, I literally went from single and childless to married and with a child. Yesterday when I woke up and went to work I remembered my life has completely changed only when a coworker asked me how Jen and the baby are doing. And then it all comes rushing back and I..." he shrugged helplessly "I feel like a fish that was taken out of the water and dumped on the beach, but for some reason stays alive, just can't get back into the sea."

Frank sighed, nodding. He knew all too well what Harm was talking about, having gone through it himself. The younger man would no doubt benefit from a piece of advice Frank still remembered.

"No man is ever born trained and ready to be a father, we learn as we go along. I made mistakes and you will too, but as long as you're there for your kid, you'll do okay."

"Thanks, Frank."

"Don't thank me, thank my Dad... he said that to me when he found out I was about to marry a woman with a ready made family and came to him for advice on how to be a father."

Harm let his head fall as memories came rushing back in a wave, an older man smiling assuringly at him, offering him his hand in greeting while Harm felt reserved and angry he had to meet the family of the man who wanted to steal his mother from his Dad. The visit hadn't gone well, but he could still remember the old man's grace, patience and kindness and by the time they were packing up to leave early due to him, he had felt like a complete bastard for acting that way towards these wonderful people. He had tried to make amends and apologize, but even though Jack Burnett had been nothing but understanding Harm would always feel his own demonstration of decency was too little too late.

That was the first of only three times he'd seen Jack who'd passed away from heart attack while Harm was deep in the jungles of Vietnam chasing ghosts. It was one of his bigger life regrets, not being there to say farewell to that good man. Whenever his path led him through that part of Florida, he never failed to stop and pay his respects to the grave of that gentle giant. On reflection he could now easily understand from where Frank got his quiet strength, strength he had mistaken for cowardice for too long as a rebellious teenager, after getting to know the man who had raised Frank on his own after Frank's mother had died in child-birth.

It was too little yet again, but hopefully it wasn't too late to make amends and let the man know how much he appreciated him "Frank, I'm sorry."

"For what?" his step-father asked genuinely confused.

He sighed, forcing himself to meet his step-father's eyes "For being so hostile to you when you married Mom. For not talking to you, for making everything so difficult, for generally being just a huge boil on the six."

"Yeah, maybe you _were_ a pain in the butt a couple of times." Frank conceded with a smile, then paused and corrected, grinning "Okay, plenty of time."

The two men laughed comradrily.

"But, even through the tough times you were always a son to me." Frank said, his voice a little thick, just as Harm felt his throat close up.

Harm offered his hand "Thanks for everything, for everything you've done for Mom and me and especially for all the patience and support," he paused for a second, then continued "Dad."

"No problem, Son." Frank smiled, shaking his hand, then drew the higher man into a manly embrace, patting his back.

Over Frank's shoulder Harm's gaze caught his mother watching them, a small unconscious smile on her lips as happy tears tracked down her cheeks. Harm, always uncomfortable with public displays of affection, was the one to break contact.

"Okay, lets get you two first to the hotel to get rid of the luggage and then to a Chrysler dealership to pick up your car." Harm decided, all too aware of just too many eyes on them.

Harm and Frank went to retrieve the bags while Trish and Mattie went on ahead, Mattie getting Trish up to speed with the events that had happened since the last time the Burnetts were in town.

Except of course for how Harm and Jen's marriage came into existence... that was their story to tell.

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**Reviews are love.**


	18. Chapter 18

**Huge thanks to robertwnielsen, Saissa, Captain J 737, Michi uk, mary094, fart fart, Lynnp and carolfd.**

Hope you enjoy this new chapter of family fluff.

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"Shhh, shhh, it's okay, I'm here." Jen murmured soothingly as she hurriedly unbuttoned her blouse.

Still finding her sea legs in this new role of motherhood it had taken her longer than she would've liked to realize what her son wanted.

Gasping softly at the yet-unaccustomed feeling of a baby latching onto her tender and overworked nipple, Jen sighed at the sudden release of tension in her breast. Realizing her breasts had ached because it was already past feeding time Jen mentally face-palmed for not realizing sooner, instead having suspected Will of needing a diaper change. The thought her own body was producing food that was fully capable of sustaining another human being, unnerved her a little. It was definitely something different to experience motherhood on her own skin rather than hear or read about it.

Not for the first time in the last week Jen wished she'd have a mother to call on for advice on children and how to be a mother herself.

Her eyes filled with tears at the thought of her beloved Mum, wishing again she wouldn't have died.

_What would she think of me now? Would she be proud?_

Thoughts of her mother brought unbidden to mind her father too, something she pushed to the back of her mind forcefully. No, she didn't want to think of him, he didn't deserve that. Just as much as he didn't deserve to know he was a grandfather, she didn't plan on notifying him anytime soon if ever.

_Maybe I'm being unfair, but would he really be anything but disapproving if he knew about Will? Especially about how I got pregnant and married... No, I'm not being unfair, I just know him too good. He may be Will's grandfather, but I won't expose my son to his cruelty and hate._

The thought made her tighten her hold on her son protectively as if her father was standing right there, condemning her and her baby.

Glancing around she tried to fight off the feeling of being an intruder in the apartment she now lived in. It didn't make sense, she was after all married to the owner, had given birth to his child whom she was right that second breast-feeding, and would be living here until they moved to a bigger apartment or a house. Yet, in spite of all that she felt as if she was intruding by being there alone.

"Hopefully your Daddy gets back home soon." Jen whispered to her son, but didn't get the response she'd wanted when he accidentally applied too much pressure with his toothless gums.

"I don't know why, but for some reason I just got the impression you're exactly like he."

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"Don't worry, Mattie, we'll sort everything out with the teacher." Harm assured, getting out of his Lexus, his young, worried charge following suit.

"I didn't mean to cause trouble, but..." Mattie continued to explain needlessly, wringing her hands.

Harm cut her off "It okay, Mattie. I've already talked with Jen and we'll be moving her and William into my apartment until we find a better solution. School is your priority and Jen and I work with that in mind."

Mattie stopped in her tracks, a small smirk emerging "Jen is moving in with you?"

She gave it a dramatic pause before continuing, an impish sparkle in her eyes "Where will she sleep?"

Harm stopped too and turned around to look at her, eyebrows raising. Seeing her expression, his look turned chastising, but Mattie didn't have the grace to look embarrassed.

He would've said more, but right then a silver Chrysler 300C appeared, skillfully parking in an empty space.

_Saved by the grandparents_. Mattie thought, waiting as Frank used the remote to lock the car while Trish was already making her way to them.

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Backing away from the window Jen took a deep breath and extended her hand in front of her, palm facing down. Noticing how much it trembled she turned it into a fist, squeezing until her knuckles turned white. She couldn't avoid remembering Harm's dismissals of her concern with saying Trish already knew and loved her. Jen shook her head anew at her husband.

_For such a smart man, he sure is oblivious at times. It's not the same anymore. Before I was just a neighbor, a friend, who looked after his ward. Now I'm his _wife_ and the _ mother of his child_. Aka the woman who shared a drunken one night stand with him and then went on as if nothing happened. We're practically back to square one here, maybe even a minus square because of the one night stand thing._

Unfortunately her dear hubby just couldn't see that.

Nor did it occur to her that maybe her insecurities were rearing their heads.

Looking around the apartment one last time to make sure it was clean, even after the two cleanings she'd done after Harm had left to pick up Mattie, she took one last chance to check that William was okay and didn't need a new diaper.

_Wouldn't really reflect best on me if they came here and Will was smelling like a cess-pit..._

Hearing the rattling of the old elevator as it stopped on her floor, Jen checked her son one last time, taking him into her arms and exhaling deeply as she turned to face the door, ready to meet the in-laws.

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The door opened and first inside was Harm who's eyes immediately searched for Jen, smiling when he found them both waiting.

Grinning, her sent her a reassuring wink then stepped aside to let his parents through, Mattie following last, unwilling to disturb what would surely be an interesting meeting.

Jen straightened upon seeing the older couple as if she was standing at attention in front of the Admiral.

"Mr and Mrs..." she started formally, but was silenced when the other woman, eyes shining, stepped forward and took her into a firm, emotional embrace, one Jen couldn't return because she had her hands full of the baby. Nor could she have even had her arms been empty, so absolute was her shock.

Jen's wide, surprised eyes met Harm's over his mother's shoulder, seeing him chuckling quietly.

Finally the older woman stepped back, but kept her hands on Jen's shoulder, as she regarded her, smiling gently. The look on Trish Burnett's face reminded her of the look on her mother's face whenever the two of them were spending some time together so much Jen had to blink quickly to push the tears down before they could well up.

"I told you the last time not to call me that, Jen, it makes me feel old." scolded Trish with a gentle smile "Call me Trish. Or Mom... I'd prefer that actually."

"Okay." Jen had to swallow before she could speak, eyes misty "Mom."

Harm rolled his eyes when all three women suddenly looked like they were about to burst in tears before Trish got ahold of her emotions and turned to her grandson, looking sleepily up from his mother's arms.

"And this must be the little man who's caused so much upheaval."

Jen nodded, raising William so his grandmother could see him better "His name is William. William Rabb."

Trish looked up from the baby, nodding in approval "A good, strong name, he'll make you both proud. Can I hold him?"

Reluctantly, after a moment's hesitation, Jen carefully handed the baby over, her heart breaking and anxiety rising at the sheer idea of letting her baby out of her arms for just a minute.

The two men's amused looks met, Harm supressing a chuckle he knew Jen wouldn't appreciate.

_I always knew she'd make a fantastic mother. I just hope she'll get over this separation anxiety, cause otherwise I'll have to step in, if for nothing else than to prevent the kid from living in a gilded cage for his entire life._

Bouncing the baby as he gurgled and flailed with short, chubby hands, Trish finally looked up and around the apartment, her eyes widening.

"Wow, I can't remember my apartment ever being this clean when Harm was a baby!" she exclaimed impressed and Harm saw Jen's tense body relax a little.

He had to grin in rememberance of Jen's reaction when he'd told her his parents were visiting.

_"What?" screeched Jen "Your parents are coming?"_

_"Yeah, called Mom today and Frank said they'll be on the flight arriving at 1700."_

_"And you tell me this only now?" Jen looked appalled and, strangely, scared._

_"Yeah." he looked closely at her, puzzled by her strange reaction "What's wrong?"_

_"What's wrong? You wait till the last second to say your parents are coming and ask me what's wrong?" Jen suddelny fell silent, closing her eyes and by the moving of her lips he guessed she was counting from 1 on. _

_' Why is she doing anger-management exercises? '_

_He couldn't understand neither her reaction nor her behaviour. _

_' Can it be true what they say about the woman changing as soon as she has her claws sunk into you when you finally give in and marry her? I always thought that was just a myth, that those men thought their women have changed because the couple rushed into marriage before they knew each other. But I've never seen Jen act like that before...'_

_Finally she opened her eyes only to glare at him "What's wrong is that you leave it till the last second to tell your parents are coming!"_

_"Yeah, so?" he asked, befuddled "It's not like you've never met them before..."_

_"But they weren't my in-laws then!"_

_Harm's eyes widened at the revelation. Stopping her headless running about the living room Harm took her into his arms._

_"Jen, relax, they already love you. How could they not? Besides you've given them a grandchild, so you don't have anything to worry about."_

_He could feel her body relax muscle by muscle at his words and finally her head fell forward, forehead leaning on his chest. They stayed like that for a minute before Jen looked back up and around the apartment. Harm felt her body tighten up again and sighed in irritation mixed with exasperation._

_"Oh, god, the apartment! It's a mess! I can't bring them into such a disaster area!"_

_Tearing out of his embrace, Jen started running around the apartment again, trying to clean up 3 things at a time, even though it was far from being a mess._

_Harm shook his head and sighed in defeat before shrugging and going off to help his wife clean up so she wouldn't over-exert herself._

"Congratulations, I see you've already got Harm trained." Trish grinned at Jen, who smiled back bashfully.

"Yes, Mom." Harm said, letting her believe whatever she wanted, even if it wasn't true.

The two women and the teenage girl quickly got deep into a conversation about babies, that made Harm afraid that at one point it would include his baby pictures Trish had probably brought with her; while Frank led him aside.

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	19. Chapter 19

There is a minimal change to this chapter, only the last couple of lines, nothing major.

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"Harm, are you three still living in separate apartments?"

"Yeah." Harm nodded, rubbing the back of his neck "I already told Jen she's moving over here so that Mattie will be able get her sleep, but that's not going to work for any length of time."

Frank nodded in agreement "Have you started looking around? What are your preferences anyway, an apartment or a house?"

"I got the newspaper this morning and we've already found some that look good on paper. We're leaning more towards houses... both of us have had our fill of apartments and are looking at something roomier, with more freedom, for Will and Mattie to have enough space to run around and play."

Then Harm grinned secretly "And perhaps with enough room for more kids."

Frank laughed "Does Jen know about that angle?"

"No, not yet. We've got our hands full with William as it is, so not planning on more, but we talked once a couple of months ago about what we want out of life and I think we both want more than one."

"Mattie will soon be moving out and the nest will be a bit empty, huh?"

"Yeah." with a sad look in his eyes Harm nodded in confirmation "Either the court gives her back to her father or we adopt her and she'll be leaving for College in a couple of years. Either way, she'll be moving out and being an only child... it's pretty lonely. Jen was an only child herself and she too missed having someone to play with."

"So let's go check them out."

Harm looked at him surprised "Right now?"

"Why not? Do you have something better to do?" Frank grinned a challenge.

"No, I just thought... with you two visiting..."

"Harm, you don't have to entertain us and even if you do, trust me, there would be no better entertainment for Trish than to go look at homes with you four."

"Okay, sure, why not. Lets go see if the others are up for it."

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Soon they were all leaving the building, a thrill of anticipation running through them at the thought of all the possibilities that could realize themselves over the course of the next couple of hours.

Harm's introspective mood was interrupted when he realized Mattie wasn't heading for the Lexus, but was instead still sticking with Trish who had stopped and was looking at him questioningly.

"Honey, you don't mind if Mattie rides with us, do you? We have a lot to catch up on." Trish shared a little secretive smile with her new grand-daughter, one that told Harm two things:

a) he probably didn't want to know what they had to talk about,

b) he'd find out soon and would wish he'd never found out.

Harm looked at Mattie and raised his eyebrows, prompting the young girl to look pleadingly at him, then nodded in agreement "Sure. No problem."

The ecstatic whoop of delight caused him to frown and squint at his ward suspiciously, but she paid him no heed as she took off for the Chrysler.

"Why do I get the feeling this was some kind of a setup?" he mumbled to himself, before following Jen and helping her strap the baby in the car seat.

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Finally being just the two of them, even if it was for the duration of the drive, Harm exploited the chance to have a talk he felt was necessary and that in his opinion had already been put off for far too long.

"What did I tell you, my parents love you. Why were you so worried anyway?"

Jen bit her lip, unsure whether to reveal her insecurities or not.

But if I don't, how will he know? If we don't talk, how else will we make this relationship work? It's bad enough we'll have opposition when it gets out that we're married, do we really need to sabotage this marriage ourselves too?

Sighing she revealed her inner thoughts and fears, gratified when Harm didn't just dismiss them, but listened attentively. After she was finished he was silent for a couple of minutes, processing what he'd just been told and how to help her.

"I'm glad you told me." he said finally, taking Jen's small hand in his, squeezing it gently in reassurance.

"And I understand where you're coming from." he shot his eyes to her "I just wish you would've told me see, the thing is, even though I don't talk as much to her as either of us would like, I know my mother. She's known you for months and really likes you. She also respects you. Mom and Frank are both very good at reading people and she knows you're not a gold-digger or the type to sleep around. Since she knows you're neither of that you're safe from Mom thinking less of you."

Then he quirked his lips in a mischevious grin as he continued "On the contrary... you've finally given her the grandchild she's been wanting for so long and taken her eternal-bachelor son off the market, something she's probably given up on. It wasn't easy to listen to her constant lectures about finally settling down. Looking at the whole thing from her position: what's not to love about you?"

Jen still looked dubious "You sure she won't have a problem with it all?"

"Nah," dismissed Harm "the only thing bothering her will be why I didn't marry you sooner. And that I had sex without protection... but that's nothing personal to do with you."

"Okay." aquiesced Jen finally, letting out a relieved breath. It was his Mom after all, he had to know her, so she'd trust him when he told her Trish Burnett would be fine with it.

"In the end, I think the most important part to her will be the fact that I'm finally happy, not that we had a one night stand or that you got pregnant or that we're hiding everything. Hopefully it will also mean more to her than the fact that she wasn't there for the wedding." Harm winced, sure that lecture was still waiting for him.

"And are you?" Jen looked at him questioningly, focused on only one thing he'd said.

"Am I what?" Harm glanced at her again, eyebrow raised.

"Happy." flattered and hopeful she stared at his profile.

Harm took a deep breath and willed himself the strenght to continue, to say what needed to be said.

Please don't die on me. I'll never forgive you if you do.

"Yes, I am. You make me happy. You and Will." then he smiled at her in a way that took her breath as he continued cautiously "Maybe it's a little soon and maybe while driving is not the best time to say it or the best way, but I... I just want you to know... I love you, Jen. Not just the platonic kind, but I'm also falling in love with you. Hard."

Tears filled Jen's eyes and her heart felt like it was going to explode from sheer happiness, love and exhiliration. Her throat had clogged up so it took a few tries before she could get the words out "I love you too."

"I really want to kiss you right now, but I think it's better if we wait till we're somewhere more private."

Jen blushed "Probably better that way, yeah."

"There's one bad news, though."

"What?" dread struck her. What now?

"Mattie's English teacher is demanding to see us. Both of us."

"Why?"

"She's probably having that time of the month." Harm grinned, then yelped when Jen gently hit him in the thigh, laughing herself.

"Mattie was having problems keeping awake and the old bat has her in the crosshairs."

"Oh." Jen replied, eyes sinking.

"It's not your fault, Jen." Harm immediately interrupted her self-recrimination "The woman really seems to dislike Mattie so any excuse would've been handy."

Jen recovered, smiling bravely "So we'll go talk to her."

Then her eyes widened when she thought of something "Wait. We're planning on moving soon... we'll have to take her out of that school and apply her elsewhere."

"Yup." Harm grinned "Which means this meeting will probably be the last."

"Well, then we really need to find a house, we already have something to forward to." opined Jen.

Harm nodded, fighting to extinguish the tendrils of desire curling in his belly that had been aroused for the hundredth time that day.

And we have something else to look forward too... Just as soon as we have our own room and the six weeks are up...

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The first viewing, an apartment, was a flop. Smack dab in the middle of the busiest part of DC it not only suffered from the effects of it's location (pollution that made you not want to open the windows, noise...), but also from a ridiculously high price, ridiculous even for DC. It also had only one parking space assigned in the building's underground garage. The underground garage itself was the reason Harm crossed the apartment off the list, not just because he and Jen would have to get rid of 2 cars, but also because he'd never feel comfortable with the thought of Jen being alone in it.

The second was a little better, it was a house not far from the Roberts' place. Nice neighborhood, a two car garage, but...

"It's too small." declared Harm, shaking his head.

"Too small? It's a three-bedroom..." Jen pointed out, looking at him quizically as she bounced the fretting baby.

"It's impossible to breathe... the yard is almost non-existent, the rooms are tiny..." Harm continued to defend himself, while Frank was hard-fought to keep a blank face, knowing just what bothered the younger man, who refused to reveal his hand for the moment. Mattie stood to the side, pouting, while Trish had her arm around the girl's shoulders, looking confused at Harm, sure there was something behind Harm's rationale, but unable to decypher it.

Quickly, but efficiently Harm bustled the troop out, politely thanking the owners and apologizing for wasting their time.

"Too small, huh?" Frank chuckled quietly to Harm as they walked back to the cars.

Harm shot him a stern look, belied by the smirk when he shrugged "I have my standards..."

"Which include... how many bedrooms?"

"At least four." Harm nodded "And a big enough property so there's more than 3 feet from the house to the neighbor's fence and a garage big enough for the cars and the tools to work on them."

He trailed off as his eyes widened suddenly in realization, but one that was missed by Frank since the other man was looking ahead.

"Alright, so what's next on the list?"

A slow smile spread across Harm's face as he made a decision that would change the rules of the game.

"A former farmhouse, it's in Virginia about..." he paused, mentally calculating the distance "About 30 miles from JAG HQ."

"A long commute compared to your current place."

"Yeah, it is. But it's got some advantages..."

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	20. Chapter 20

This chapter has gone through major, TOTAL revision.

When writing a future chapter I realized I messed up, I completely forgot the best option available. While the house I gave them was no doubt wonderful, this choice is even better. Read ending ANs for a better explanation

Another thing that baffles me are the airports where Harm stored Sarah. Leesburg, VA, where Harm had her originally, is close, 26 miles from JAG. While on the other hand Blacksburg, VA where he moved it after Leesburg was closed and where he met Mattie and to where he rode his old Indian, is 260 miles away! And Harm was supposed to have ridden there in the same afternoon on a bike older than he and less reliable than Mac, only to then also have the time to fly and get home before dark. And do that everyday when he was cropdusting... Imagine driving 260 miles to work every morning, putting in full hours and then another 260 miles in the evening to get back home. It just isn't possible. What were the producers thinking?

Or are there more Blacksburgs in VA? Google Maps has only one.

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Sometime later, after a stop to change Will's diaper and feed him, the two cars were rumbling down a rural highway when the phone in the leading vehicle rang.

Harm quickly picked it up to avoid waking up the smallest, but loudest occupant "Rabb."

"Harm," came the voice of his step-father down the line "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

The younger man grinned, ignoring his wife's puzzled glance "Depends on what you're thinking. If I'm really thinking what you thinking I'm thinking, then you're thinking what I'm thinking. I think."

He could hear the groan of exasperation through the phone and he chuckled heartily.

"But, yeah, you're thinking correctly."

"Okay then, just wanted to make sure." Frank replied and hung up.

Shooting a glance to his right side Frank could see the knowledge of exactly where they were going dawning in his wife's eyes.

"Isn't this the road..."

"Yeah." Frank nodded, cutting her off. Harm obviously wanted it to be a surprise, so a surprise it would be. Though Trish was too stunned over not having thought of this possibility herself to consider that angle.

"But he had us seeing all those houses..."

"I'm sure everything will be cleared up when we get there, honey." he stated firmly with finality in his tone as he jerked his head in Mattie's direction.

Trish followed his gesture to where the young girl was looking out the window deep in thought, then nodded in agreement, shaking her head in fond exasperation over her son's slip of mind.

Very soon they were pulling in onto the property, trees lining the mile long driveway, and Harm could feel his heart-beat accelerate as memories washed over him. Shooting his wife a glance he noticed Jen was glued to the window, huge-eyed, completely taken by the surroundings. The path ended in front of an old-style farmhouse in, upon quick visual check, moderate condition, sitting peacefully among tall cherry trees.

Pulling to a stop and getting out of the cars, the group was greeted by a man in his 60's who introduced himself as Bill Hawkins, but was quickly pulled away by Harm before he could say anything more.

Stupefied at her husband's behaviour, Jen mutely observed as he had a short, but intense (in a peaceful way) conversation with the man, before they shook hands, smiling. A key-ring then exchanged ownership as the man said his farewells.

"Where's Mr Hawkins going?" Jen asked quietly when Harm rejoined her "Isn't he going to show us around?"

"Nah, he said we can look on our own, he'll be back later."

Sending him a penetrating look, Jen wasn't sure how much to believe. Harm never lied, but it was clear to her he was hiding something. She just didn't know what. YET.

Harm led the group through the old six bedroom house that had 3 bathrooms (1 of these an en-suite for the main bedroom), a cozy living room with a huge old-style fireplace, a spacious kitchen, a wrap-around porch with an old wooden swing big enough for two people and an old barn nearby that could serve as a car garage. There were other barns and sheds, together with a silos, scattered around nearby, some big and some small, most filled with old farming equipment.

The house was the homey, comfortable type that would never be featured in any magazine, and the appliances and furniture were far from new, though not in a bad condition. Some of it even looked like it was from the 50's. Unfortunately the plumbing and the electric wiring were old and in poor condition and would have to be modernized.

The house looked like there was no-one living in it and it hasn't been thoroughly fixed-up in a while, evidenced by it's slowly deteriorating state.

Checking the building for termites and other possible damage they went through the basement, eventually ending up back outside, where they could admire the landscape made interesting by it's uneven surface, with occasional small hills and valleys, trees and bushes everywhere.

"It's gorgeous here, but how big _is_ the land anyway?" Jen sighed, turning to her husband who obviously was the one with the information.

"15 acres." Harm answered and pretended he hadn't seen Jen's eyes widen "It was a big farm once, but the fields are now mostly overgrown. The rest is made up of forests, meadows, brooks, some old orchards that would need only some TLC to get them back in shape..."

Jen was starting to get a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach "How much does it cost?"

"It's pretty cheap." Harm answered vaguely "But the house would have to be fixed up and that would cost the most. But I'm good for a loan and with what we'll get for the apartment it won't be a problem. Well, what do you think?"

"It's beautiful." Jen nodded, sighing gently "It's gonna be a lot of work, but the potential is definitely there."

"Beautiful?" repeated Mattie incredulously "It's awesome! I love it!"

"Good. I was afraid you two wouldn't like it because it's so rural, out of the city, far from work and school and needs work." Harm grinned in relief and turned to his wife "And don't worry about the work, I know of a couple of contractors that can have this place in top shape in weeks if there are several teams working on it. With enough people it'll be done ASAP."

Jen was still hesitant since she was all too aware that most of the financial burden would fall on Harm as with her paycheck she'd been barely surviving in DC, while he was paid well enough to live comfortably, own two cars, a motorcycle and even afford to operate an airplane. Even though they were married, she still felt like she was an outside burden, instead of a member of the family and that their possession weren't "mine and yours" anymore, but "ours".

She looked dubiously up at him "You sure it's not too expensive?"

"Don't worry." Harm placated her, stunned at having almost added "honey" to the back of the sentence. It had been a long time since he'd had a relationship in which he'd felt comfortable enough to use pet-names and it was an almost foreign concept to him by now. The fact that he had so quickly slipped into that behaviour rocked him.

"Who's the owner?" Jen asked, looking around, almost like she had the feeling the owners would pop up from behind the nearest shed.

"I am." Harm answered, grinning sheepishly.

When the words first reached Jen's ears, her eyes almost fell out and the jaw definitely hit the ground as she stared at him.

"You bought it already?" Jen was close to fainting as she looked at Harm betrayed. Wasn't marriage about confiding, trust and making decisions together, especially decisions this big? If he didn't even value her opinion this much, how could their marriage have any chance of succeeding?

"Uh, no." Harm smiled disarmingly, wincing on the inside.

Jen's eyes narrowed as she glared "Stop with this nonsense ASAP, Harmon Rabb Jr. and start speaking clearly."

Harm sighed, his smile turning rueful. Extending his arms he did a small whirl to encompass everything as he looked at Jen tenderly, Mattie joining her in her confusion "This is the Rabb farm. It's been in my family's hands for the last 150 years, with Gramma Sarah living on it alone for the last 25. When she died last year I inherited it. That's why I said I'm the owner."

"Then it's already ours?" Mattie questioned, deliberately breaking the tension and getting to the good part.

"Yeah, it is. And we don't have to pay anything for it." Harm nodded, grining widely, then yelped as an exuberant 15 year old jumped into his arms, squealing in enthusiasm.

A second later she let go and was running circles around the house, squealing, seeing everything in a new light now that she knew the real story. Stunned over such an uncharacteristic display Harm just looked after her, following her with his eyes until Mattie disappeared behind a barn. His eyes slowly moving away from the point he'd last seen his ward they crossed his mother as she stood there shaking her head in disbelief.

"Why didn't we go here in the first place? Why view all those houses?"

Harm reddened in embarrassement as he shrugged, looking down at the ground where his foot was stirring up the dirt "I... uh.. forgot?"

"You... forgot?" repeated Trish incredulously, while in the background Frank was laughing so hard he was bent over at the waist, tears streaming, and Jen was looking at him as if he'd fallen from the sky, "You forgot you own a farm, THE farm?"

"Yeah," he shrugged, embarrassement waning as he turned the tables on his mother "You didn't think of proposing this choice either."

Trish blushed and glared at him "That's because I didn't know you had it. I mean, I knew Sarah willed it to you, but I thought you sold this place."

"Well, I didn't sell it." he retorted mutinously "How could I ever sell it?"

"But you obviously had no problem forgetting it." Jen giggled, sharing a conspiratorial look with her mother-in-law.

While Harm's heart danced at the two women bonding, this was not the way he'd ever imagined they would.

"Only you, honey." his mother finally muttered, chuckling "How could you forget you owned this place?"

"Yeah." Jen backed her up "And then you had us going to view all those other places..."

Harm sighed in defeat "I'm never gonna live this down, am I?"

"Not on your life, buster." agreed Trish, then turned to Frank who'd managed to calm down in the meantime "Are you sure that's my son? Maybe there was a swap?"

Frank played along and ran his eyes up and down Harm's form, lips quirking at the look of exasperation and annoyance on his step-son's face and then turned back to his wife, taking a few steps away "Yes, I'm sure he's your son, honey, cause you two are exactly alike."

"Hey!" exclaimed Trish indignantly, causing the other three adults to laugh, Harm relieved the spotlight was off him for a second.

Slipping her arm around his waist, Jen cuddled into him.

"Harm, I love you madly, but sometimes you really make me wonder..." she said, shaking her head, prompting another round of giggling, to which Harm just sighed.

"You think we can just leave her here and come back in a couple of weeks?" Harm muttered, jerking his head in the direction of their ward, who'd just appeared from behind a shed, whizzed by a tree like a rocket and disappeared behind a bush, arms spread wide like the Titanic-girl and laughing freely.

Jen pretended to give it some thought, then grinned "We _could _try it, but unfortunately that wouldn't go down that well with the court. Though, sometimes I'm really tempted to do just that."

Harm laughed at her response, glaring at her with a comically serious look "You're one naughty little girl, aren't you, Mrs Rabb?"

Jen blushed, her red color even deepening when she noticed Trish looking on with distinct interest.

"Um, Harm?" she asked, trying desperately to change the conversation before he could embarrass her even more in front of her new mother-in-law "How about a trade?"

"What kind of trade?" he perked up, interested.

"You get William and in return you don't embarrass me for the rest of the day."

He weighed it for a second, then nodded, his hands reaching out "Gimme, gimme, gimme!"

"Yes, dear." she muttered, accompanied by her mother-in-law's laughter, carefully handed over her son. Her heart swelled at how gently the man she loved handled their child, looking lovingly down at the small being.

"Hey, there, little guy." Harm whispered to his yawning son, then wrinkled his nose when the stench hit him.

Glaring at Jen, he complained "You're evil." then went to the Lexus to change Will's diaper, Jen's laugh following him.

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While Jen showered Harm checked the windows and door to make sure everything was locked and secured, turning off the lights as he went.

He stood by the bassinet, observing his sleeping son with bemusement when he heard the door to the bathroom open and close.

Making sure one last time that Will was settled in for the night, or rather, for the next few hours, he tucked the blanket higher and turned around, noting how nervous Jen seemed. To calm her down he decided that acting as if going to bed with the Admiral's Yeoman was an everyday thing was best. So he gave her a smile and headed to the side of the bed he normally slept on, lifting the covers as he shook his feet out of the slippers.

"Today was a long day." Harm groaned as he climbed into bed, sighing in pleasure when he was finally on his back.

Gratefully following his example Jen climbed under the covers too, staying unsurely on her side.

"I can't believe you owned a farm and completely forgot about it." she wondered with wide eyes and bewilderment in her voice.

Harm cringed "Yeah, tell me about it. I only remembered when we went to check out that second house. I quickly called Mr Hawkins to wait for us with the keys."

"Who is he anyway?"

"He's a neighbor I paid to look after the house and take care of small repairs and such. He was almost like a second son to Gramma."

"I'm sorry I never met her." Jen said with a low voice, filled with sadness "She must've been an amazing woman."

"She was." Harm nodded

Deciding to change the topic to something less depressing, Jen mentioned something that was baffling her, in a nice way "Your parents took it pretty well when we told them the truth about our marriage and Will, you were right."

Harm grunted in confirmation, ignoring the way his ear still burned slightly from Trish mishandling it. His mother had taken everything except the no-protection-thing pretty well, especially the fact it was Jen with whom he'd ended up going home completely sloshed and had sex with, partly because she got a daughter-in-law and a grandson out of it and mainly because she genuinely liked Jen. Still, she hadn't been thrilled over her only son acting so irresponsibly as to have unprotected sex in the first place, the possibilities of all the ways it could've gone wrong scaring the living daylights out of her. Nonetheless, the most important - her behaviour and feelings towards the younger woman - had not changed in the slightest and the two already had a couple things planned together over the next few weeks his mom would stay in town.

"Hey, what are you doing all the way over there?"

Extending his arm he snaked his hand between the curve of her waist and the mattress before gently pulling her to him as he dropped back on his back. As soon as Jen was close enough she slid her leg over his and hooked herself to him with her foot around his calf while pressing against the side of his torso to lay her head on his chest.

"Hard to believe in a month we'll already be living in that beautiful house. It really is gorgeous there, isn't it?"

"Mmhmm." Harm murmured.

Letting out a contented sigh Jen smiled "I was dreading tonight, you know?"

Puzzled, Harm frowned down at the crown of her head "Why?"

"We were about to share a bed and I thought you felt nothing for me. It would've been pretty awkward."

"And uncomfortable." Harm agreed "I guess it's a good thing that I love you, then, isn't it?"

Wow, that came out so easily...

Jen lifted her head from his chest to look up at him, her eyes shining "Say that again."

"Say what?" Harm repeated playfully.

"You know what." Jen poked him gently.

"Nope, sorry, no clue."

Jen pouted and Harm couldn't resist kissing those gorgeous lips, surprised anew how easy and comfortable it was. Everything about this relationship was so much easier and more comfortable than with any relationship he'd had before. Kissing Jen, living the married life with her was like pulling on tailor-made gloves that were made to fit perfectly. With all the clothing analogy he couldn't help but remember a quote he'd heard a long time ago: "your wife is to you like clothing as you are like clothing to her." Equal and perfect for each other. He decided to take this all as a sign.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

"Then show me." demanded Jen in a throaty whisper, thick with desire, as she guided Harm to rest on her body, moaning with delight as she felt his solid bulk against her softer angles press her into the mattress.

"I'd love nothing more," Harm hung his head in regret, panting heavily "but not for another five weeks I can't."

Jen grimaced in disappointed remembrance, her arms still around Harm's neck, refusing to let him go "Yeah, forgot about that."

"Besides," Harm continued, raising his head to look at the bassinet "I don't wanna scar our son for life by giving him a free peep-show of his parents having sex."

Wincing, Jen let out an embarrassed giggle "His therapist bill would probably kill us."

Chuckling, Harm agreed "Yeah."

Then, dropping a kiss on the tip of his wife's nose, Harm stared seriously down at her "Rain check, five weeks from now. If they're here then, we'll have Mom and Frank take the kids for the day and night. Bewarned, though, by the time I'm done with you, you won't be able to walk."

Jen bit Harm's ear, making him groan, then promised "I can't wait."

As they settled in to try to get some sleep before Will woke them up, they both had the same thought.

It's going to be a LOOOOOOOOONG five weeks.

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As said, I was writing a future chapter I realized I was too hasty with them buying a house, completely forgetting the Rabb family farm... if it's supposed to be in Beallsville, MD, which is only 31 miles from Falls Church. The house Frank bought for Harm and Jen is 40-45 miles from JAG, a longer commute. The thing is I completely forgot about the Rabb farm when decided to move them out of the apartment, a mistake especially stupid since I always had the image of Harm as him wanting to take the farm over after he retired from the Navy, since it was in his family for a presumably long time.

As mentioned previously in this story, Sarah Rabb died in 2003 and Harm inherited the farm after her. Which means they don't have to spend huge money, because they already own a house that's relatively close to JAG and it's free and it's got sentimental value.

**Reviews are last.**


	21. Chapter 21

Huge facepalm. Only days after I posted it did I remember I forgot to add something in the previous chapter. Corrected it and those new paragraphs now stand in the last scene.

The bike part... well, truthfully it was a last minute decision. While I KNEW there had to be something in that shed for Harm to work on, I planned until the last second to make it into an old muscle car. BUT Harm already has one and they're pretty time, money and patience consuming to restore and Harm has a young family and a new wife... So, it ended up being a bike. NOT my bike, mine is one of those crotch-rocket descendants, but a bike I'm still pretty familiar with.

The second part of this chapter was inspired by a scene in the movie "Look who's talking". Unfortunately it didn't end up being as funny as the original. :(

**Huge thanks to marye094, Saissa, robertwnielsen, Captain J 737, Sarai, fart far, Lynnp, carolfd and Michi uk.**

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"That woman is scary."

Mattie snorted as she kept pace with her two guardians down the empty corridors "You've faced down terrorists and think a teacher that weighs half of what you do, is scary?"

Harm shrugged, ignoring Jen's giggling in the background "None of the terrorists I've met had so many frustrations. I'll bet if she got her hands on an AK it wouldn't be a week before she'd be on the 10 Most Wanted list."

Will wailed in agreement, while the two girls didn't know whether to break out in hysterics or face-palm themselves.

"Well, at least it's done." said Jen firmly, sending Harm a stern look for his quip, something she never would've even thought of doing while in uniform "We just have to finish moving into the house and you will never have to see her again, Mattie."

"It can't happen soon enough." the young girl sighed "I'll miss Andre and the rest of my friends, though."

"I know you will." Jen said compassionately as Harm provided mute support from the background "But moving elsewhere doesn't mean you need to stop being friends. It'll just take more effort, just like most of the good things in life."

Mattie assessed her thoughtfully, glancing at Harm carrying Will "I guess you know what you're talking about."

Jen blushed, but nodded "I do, trust me on that. How did they take it anyway?"

Mattie's eyes sank, making Jen wince "That bad, huh?"

"I kinda think Andre feels betrayed. He doesn't have any other friends."

Jen nodded in understanding, a kid that different would no doubt have problems clicking in, especially in an environment as judgemental and hostile as High Schools could be to members coloring outside the lines. Anyone who accepted him was a precious friend and their loss was felt deeply. It was no wonder the young buy was hurting badly.

"That's unfortunately a part of military life, Mattie." Jen said gently, sighing "Harm and I have been pretty fortunate to stay so long in one place, Harm's case of a non-CO staying in one billet for 7 years is almost unheard of. Well, unless it's a form of punishment, that is. Usually you get rotated to a new post every two years."

Then she looked meaningfully at her soon-to-be-daughter "Something for both Andre and you to think about if you're really serious about joining up. Military life has many rewards, but it also has plenty of down-sides too. Both you'll need to consider before joining."

"But you and Harm..." Mattie started.

Harm shook his head "I was a Navy-brat from the beginning, Mattie, I've always been used to this life. Was actually born in Spain, at Rota NAS. Dad was then transferred to Japan and later to San Diego, which was the first time I entered the US, before he was sent to fight in 'Nam. And Jen..." he trailed off, leaving to Jen to finish her story.

"And I joined the Navy because the other option was jail." seeing Mattie's abjected look, Jen's face softened "We're not trying to keep you from following your dreams, Mattie, we just don't want you regretting anything later on."

"Right." replied Mattie, still looking down-trodden "I better get back to class now."

"Okay," nodded Harm "I'll pick you up at the usual time."

Saying goodbye to Mattie the young family walked down the corridor towards the exit, stopping only for Jen to claim back her son.

Once they were out of the building Jen craned her neck to look up at her husband "When will we tell her?"

"About the letter we received today, that the custody hearing is set for the 22nd?"

"Yes. I was thinking we'd do it after dinner."

"Good idea."

Jen peered closer, realization dawning "Are you scared what they'll decide?"

Letting out a shuddering breath Harm nodded "Yeah. The last time didn't go so well..."

"It turned out good..."

Snorting, Harm rotated his head to look down at her "Yeah, because I guilted Mac into doing something nice for someone else for the first time in 5 years. I'm still surprised it didn't kill her."

Jen giggled, acknowledging how true it was, the talk with Mattie's father had been the only nice thing the other woman had done for Harm in years. The fact that he'd guilted her into it, while news, did not surprise Jen. She filed that information for later as she continued to try to cheer him up.

"I don't see how it could go wrong, Harm." Jen smiled up at him as she wound the fingers of her free hand with his "This time it's two of us applying for the job, we're married and we just bought a house. It's pretty much a secured win."

"You're right." Harm grinned, his mood lifted "No wonder I love you."

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_Is she doing this intentionally or does she really not know how hard it makes things for me? Pun intended. She's never done it before, so why now? Oh, who cares why she's doing it, the view is too good to pass up._

Currently Jen was strolling through his apartment looking like every man's erotic fantasy, just a white uniform shirt, HIS white uniform shirt, all mussed hair, sleepy eyes and long, long, long, bare legs. Legs that defnitely didn't look like someone had put a bone into an empty bag and was then waving the whole thing in the wind as the bag flapped around the bone. Instead, they were some of the most exquisitely formed feminine legs Harm had ever seen, thighs full just right so they neither looked fat nor skinny and feminine muscles showing at every movement. Harm never considered himself a thigh fetishist or a fetishist of any kind for that matter, but if Jen continued this fashion trend he might just become one.

His eyes followed her as she opened the fridge and leaned forward to browse through it, admiring the way the shirt lovingly settled on her lovely rump.

From what he could figure Jen's body hadn't changed much with pregnancy and birth, her figure had always been the classic hour-glass and her buns still looked made of steel. All in all, quite unusual for a woman who spent most of her day sitting on her six.

"Harm?"

_Mmmm, how nice, tight and strong those cheeks look under that fabric..._

"Harm?"

Strangely he was glad the shirt covered everything in a way that it preserved Jen's modesty. Not only for Jen herself, but also because of the erotic underwear effect... it hints at what's hidden beneath, but doesn't show it, letting the observer's imagination take charge, which is most of the time a lot better than if everything was shown.

"Haaarm?"

He was rudely brought back to the world of the non-drooling when Jen shifted, straightening. Still a bit unfocused, not completely with her yet, his mind somewhere else, his brain registered only the fact that she was looking at him.

"Yes?" he finally managed, clearing his throat when he realized just how husky his voice had become.

"You okay?" she asked, genuine concern in her voice and eyes "I called you three times and you were just staring through the air."

Harm's ears burned in embarrassement and he made sure to avoid her eyes "Yeah, I'm okay."

Deciding against saying something about the shirt because he figured she would then become embarrassed, realize just how undressed she was walking around and go change. Which was the last thing he wanted. After all, he was a guy that was a still breathing and who couldn't remember seeing a woman less than fully dressed in over 3 years. Hell, even if he didn't remember it and the last time wasn't so far back, his body was still too aware the last time he'd achieved real sexual release aka with a woman and not his hand, was 9 months back, too long in itself.

Not for the first time did the thought cross his mind: _It's gonna be a long 4 weeks..._

But her state of dress showed she'd finally become comfortable in this apartment and he didn't want to set her back to how she was. Especially not when it proved so profitable for him...

Still unconvinced, Jen nodded, searching his face, but obviously willing to drop it. _What's this all about?_

_Thank god she's dropping it._ Harm thought, mentally wiping sweat off his forehead.

"Okay. Um, did you see the bottle of milk in the fridge? I can't find it."

Harm looked sheepish "Uh, yeah. I woke up at about 0300 hrs and was really thirsty..."

"You drank all of it?"

Harm nodded "Yeah."

_Uh oh... he drank it?_

She looked shocked for a few seconds, then her lips started twitching as she was fighting back the smile.

Harm frowned in concern "Why? Was there something wrong with it?"

Jen deliberated for a second then said with a finality in her tone "No. No, there wasn't, no need to worry. I was just curious what happened to it."

Nodding, Harm went back to what he'd been doing before Jen had distracted him so successfully, reading his morning paper.

Jen turned her back on him so he wouldn't see her giggling quietly to herself.

_I can't believe it... he really doesn't know._

Perhaps she should've said something, but she'd wanted to spare them both the embarrassement, what he didn't know didn't hurt him. Besides, it was made specifically for humans, so it was perhaps healthier.

_I just hope he doesn't make a habbit of it, 'coz I don't know if I have enough milk for both of them._

Yeah, definitely better for his psyche he never found out.

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**Reviews are love.**


	22. Chapter 22

This chapter addresses something that bugged me endlessly, you'll know what I mean when you get to the end of it. Unfortunately since Mac took up most of the air time in S9 finale (grrrrr), she will reappear in this and the next couple of chapters too. Trust me, I'd rather she'd stay far away, but she sadly has to pop up.

I'm changing the timeline a little. Cheggy's Dining-out from doesn't happen before AJ's 5th like on the show, but AFTER his b-day.

What's that old X-mas movie about the guy who wished he hadn't been born? [rhetoric question everyone...] This timeline's JAG is gonna be something like that... what would've happened if Harm was away from HQ during S9's finale...

**Huge thanks to robertwnielsen, Saissa, Lynnp, marye094, fart fart, Michi uk, byrthelmand and carolfd.**

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Trying the door, even though the blinds were closed, Mac frowned when it refused to reveal it's secrets.

_It's been three weeks, where the hell is he? Does he really intend to use up his entire leave time? And why didn't he tell me?_ Mac thought indignantly, even though she herself had been less than approachable to him for the last 5 years.

Looking around the bullpen in hopes of finding someone she could drill information out of, her eyes landed on a chubby male Lieutenant.

_Ah-hah! If anyone knows, it must be Bud! He and Harm have always been close. And if Harm didn't tell him, Harriet no doubt sniffed it out and shared it with him._

Bud was leaning against his wife's desk in the bullpen, reading a case file, minding his own business while he waited for Harriet to be done so they could go together to the staff call, when a sharp voiced intruded on his thoughts so unexpectedly that his arms jerked from fright, sending the folder flying two feet in the air before scattering it's contents everywhere.

"Lieutenant, do you know where Commander Rabb is?"

Dropping to his knees to start collecting the papers, Bud blinked at the woman standing over him, looking down on him "Um, isn't he still on his leave, ma'am?"

_Bud doesn't know either? _

"Still? It's been three weeks! Does he even intend to come back to work? Or does he expect us to do his job?"

Mac's rhetoric question struck a chord with the younger LT and for a second he zoned out, remembering a similarly ego-centric attitude the last time the CDR was missing from JAG.

_"Do you miss him?"_

_"No. Things are working pretty well here. No-one is firing automatic weapons in the coutroom."_

_"That was years ago!"_

_"The bullets are still in the ceiling."_

That time was one of the darkest times JAG had ever gone through in Bud's time there and he still couldn't wrap his head around just how quickly everything had gone downhill with the CDR's departure and how even more unlikeable LtCol MacKenzie had been turning into since then.

_A pity. She was such a nice person once. What happened to her? _

Bud frowned in confusion, banishing the thoughts "Um, ma'am, I thought _I_ took all the Commander's cases. He gave some of them to you?"

"No."

Bud changed tact, knowing it was better to drop it "As far as I know he's supposed to have time off for another couple of weeks. If there's something wrong I'm sure he wouldn't be upset over a phone-call from a concerned friend."

Mac gave him a penetrating look as she considered his idea, then slowly walked off, wincing at the pain in her back.

"What was that about?" inquired Harriet as she joined her husband, looking after the Marine.

"She was looking for CDR Rabb."

"What did you say that made her so upset?"

"Just that he's supposed to be on leave for another couple of weeks."

"Must be hard..."

"What is?"

"Being alone right when you need someone."

Bud looked dubious.

Sure, he could see Rabb wanting to help out of friendship, but _wanting _to be involved in that mess?

_Didn't she throw him aside so she could be with Mr Webb in the first place? And the problems she has now are with Webb..._

The haunted, destroyed look in CDR's lifeless eyes when he came back from his successful rescue mission only to be in disgrace thrown out of the organization he'd dedicated his life to, as all of the staff had been able to hear the Admiral tearing him apart, trivializing his entire honorable service, making the CDR look like an adrenalin junkie in this job just to get his fix, and the fact that in the following week alone they'd seen more of Webb than they had in all 7 years before (not that they were happy about this new arrangement as nobody liked the spook).

Who would genuinely _want to _be involved in the mess that Sarah MacKenzie had made out of her private life, especially after she'd cast that person aside just so she could create that mess?

_Sure, she helped him get custody of his ward, but anyone who believes that one good deed can make up for 5 years of abuse is either in love with her to the point of being completely blind or is just plain stupid. Thank god I've got Harriet. As complicated and incomprehensible as she can be at times, at least she's an honestly good woman and definitely not high-maintenance._

_Sadly, the rest of us weren't exactly supportive either. We were all much too involved with ourselves and our own problems to spare him a thought. He had no-one to stand by him through what must've been some of the worst and trying times of his life._

A wave of shame and self-recrimination washed over him at the truth of just how much he'd failed his former mentor. Not only after Harm was advised to take up alligator-wrestling, but even before that, while he'd been tried for Singer's murder and locked up in the brig, among the criminals he had himself put away and that no doubt didn't care much for him.

Harm had never said anything or treated him differently, actually, Rabb didn't treat ANYONE from JAG differently after he was cleared, but his coworkers' abandonment had no doubt hurt him. How many times had the man been hurt by the people closest to him that he'd built a wall to protect him?

Didn't that say everything about those people and little of it good?

_We all just always used him to fix our problems for us, help us, exploited him for a shield against the Admiral when he was in one of his moods. But when he needed us we turned our backs on him and ignored him. I wasn't any better than the rest. I could've gone and seen him, tried to talk to him, he would've done that for me. But I didn't. I didn't even try._

_And he would've done it for me..._

"Lieutenant?"

Bud looked up, torn out of his self-flailing thoughts, fully expecting to see Mac back, but the one person standing before him was the one he hadn't expected.

"Sir!" he barked respectfully as he stood to attention.

"Have you been in contact with CDR Rabb lately?" the Admiral questioned, observing him closely, revealing he hadn't been in contact himself.

_Who would even want to hear from their co-workers when on leave... From coworkers like that... And besides, any normal person would spend their weeks of leave elsewhere than in DC..._

"No, sir, haven't talked to the CDR ever since he started his leave."

Nodding thoughtfully Chegwidden briefly mulled over the fact that Bud obviously knew nothing of Harm's new status yet "In that case, call him and let him know that the dress code for the Dining-out has been changed to Dinner Dress White Jacket."

_The CDR is coming to the Dining-out? Oh right, he has to... Wait a minute, did he say...?_

Bud's eyes bugged out in surprise, disbelief and doubt in his voice "The Winter Uniform, sir?"

"Got a problem with that, LT?" the stern look made Bud shrivel back.

"No, sir, no problem."

"Very well. Notify every other male attendee of this change as well. I want all of us to be wearing it, ALL of us, down to the last man."

"Male, sir? What about the women?"

"They stay the same." the finality in the Admiral's tone gave Bud to know no second-guessing would be tolerated.

_Okaaay..._

"Aye aye sir, I will let everyone know."

"Good." Chegwidden nodded, his strange expression putting all sorts of questions into Bud's head "Good."

Without saying anything else Chegwidden walked off, Bud's eyes following him, stopping for a second at a desk to mix up the papers lying there, taking a bottle of water from another, then continuing on his way.

_He really HAS lost his marbles!_

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**Reviews are love.**


	23. Chapter 23

Honestly, I wanted to do this sooner, not just when popular request demanded it, but could never find a way to worm it into the previous chapters, as each of them was an already completed entity. In the end it was better this way, because it grew to be too long to do anything but give it it's own chapter.

I'm also gonna be frank with you guys. We've already past the point where I had all the chapters written, that's why these updates have now shifted to weekly or even longer intervals. This fic wasn't supposed to be even half this long and the "totally ultimately last" chapter I promised myself, after extending this story as I came up with new ideas, expired a couple of chapters ago.

"When the time comes" I dub thee "One Normal Evening 2: The Jen Edition", lol.

As for the uniform change... honestly I have no clue why TPTB mixed up the uniforms... why they had the men wear winter uniforms when it was Spring and thus summer whites were already the Uniform of the Day.

FFN is being moody again, so my apologies to the people to who's reviews I didn't reply and thank you for your support.

**As always, huge thanks to robertwnielsen, byrhthelm, fart fart, Saissa, Cinsir, unwittysidekick, carolfd, marye094 and Michi uk.**

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"Hey, Kimmy, did you hear the latest?"

Sea(wo)man Kimberley Thompson looked up at the newcomer, her lips widening in a welcoming smile "Hey, Claire, what's up?"

"The Old Man has decided all of the guys will have to wear the mess dress for his retirement party."

Smiling eyes turned thoughtful, as the mind behind them jumped at this new piece of information "Huh? Why?"

"Who knows." the young redhead going by the name of Sea(wo)man Claire D'Angelo shrugged, taking down a package of blank paper.

Cutting it open she discarded the packaging and opened the photo-copier she'd previously abandoned to deliver some finished copies to JAG HQ one floor up. Restocking the machine and closing it back up she checked there were no other orders before leaning against her work-place, crossing her arms as she smirked secretively at her friend "But from what I hear he's been getting real strange the last couple of weeks."

"Strange, how?"

"Taking people's snacks out of their hands and eating it himself, parking in parking spots that aren't his... strange things."

"And now he's decided he wants the men to wear a winter uniform? Even though it's late Spring and the Uniform of the Day has been summer whites for nearly a month. How do you know this anyway? Who told you?

Claire shot her coworker an indignant look "I overheard the Admiral order that to Lieutenant Roberts myself!"

"What about the girls?" Kim demanded, as much as the news was interesting, she wanted to know what was in store for her.

"LT asked that exact question himself."

"And what did the Admiral say?" Kim prodded, annoyed at having to pull teeth.

"They stay the same." Claire grinned.

"Seriously?" Kim gasped incredulously.

"Yup."

"Wow!"

"Uh-huh."

"Maybe he just likes how the Winter Dress looks like?"

"Well, who..."

"What's this about winter uniforms?" a voice suddenly interrupted Claire, bringing the two women's eyes to the door where an Ensign was standing, waiting for the answer, the JAG insignia gleaming in the harsh neon light.

"Sir!" the two women flew to attention.

"At ease. Now what was this about winter uniforms?"

The two women's eyes met, then Claire started hesitantly "Well, sir, apparently Admiral Chegwidden's decided that all the men will have to wear Dinner Dress White Jacket for the Dining-out."

Two sharp eyes scanned their faces "How accurate is this rumor?"

"It's no rumor, sir!" Claire defended indignantly "I personally overheard Admiral Chegwidden order Lieutenant Roberts to notify CDR Rabb and the rest of the men of the change. The women will still wear the Summer Dinner Dress."

The Ensign nodded thoughtfully.

"So, he's still screwing around with us." he mumbled to himself.

Kim and Claire's eyes met, unsure what he was mumbling "Sir?"

The query reminded him he wasn't alone and he looked up, replying "Nothing.", then went back to what he'd come there for.

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10 minutes later and one stop at LT Roberts' desk confirmed what he'd been told.

"I can't believe this crap! The party is two days away and he suddenly changes his mind! And I put it away just last week! I just hope they'll be willing to dry clean it on such a short notice..."

Too deep into his thoughts Bill barely stopped himself from jumping when a voice sounded to his right "Can I help you somehow, Ensign Peters?"

Turning around he caught sight of Petty Officer Second Class Turnbull, looking at him confused.

_I REALLY need to stop talking to myself._

"Actually, yes you can. Tell the enlisted men that are coming to the Dining-out that the dress code has been changed for men only to Dinner Dress White Jacket. I'll notify the officers, except for LT Roberts and CDR Rabb who already know."

"Aye, sir." Lucy nodded, then her brow furrowed when she latched onto a piece of information "CDR Rabb, sir? Isn't he on leave?"

Bill smirked "That's right, Turnbull, but then the only good excuse for not attending your CO's retirement party is your own death."

"True, sir." Lucy grinned, then thought of someone else "What about PO Coates, sir, do you know whether she'll be there?"

"No clue." he shrugged "But, as I said, she will have to have a damn good reason not to attend."

Turnbull nodded and slowly ambled over to her desk, mulling the latest news. Arriving at her work spot she found PO Blakes just unloading some more paperwork for her. Smiling at the younger woman in greeting she accepted the documents, eager to share the hottest gossip.

Blakes' reaction was as expected and since neither woman was in a hurry to get back to work, there being no superiors around, they stopped to chat a little, Lucy sharing more of what she'd learned, knowing Kendra had a soft spot for the man in question.

"Apparently Commander Rabb is coming to the Dining-out."

"Really?" she asked, cheered-up, but then caught herself and decided to change the topic "Think Jen will show up?"

"Dunno. Probably. Hopefully she'll be able to find someone to watch the baby for a couple of hours cause I'm not sure the Old Man would be thrilled over having an infant there."

"I'm still having problems wrapping my head around it. Jennifer Coates a Mommy. And she's the only one who hasn't been dipping in the pool..." Kendra shook her head in disbelief "But I'm sure her roommate, the Commander's ward, could probably look after the baby for a couple of hours."

"Had I not seen it with my own two eyes, I wouldn't have believed it, but that was definitely a newborn she was holding when we dropped by the hospital. When was the last time you talked to her?"

"We talked over the phone last week. I invited her out for a drink, but she excused herself, didn't have the time."

"Well, with being a single mother of a newborn I'd say that's probably true."

"Think she has any help?"

Lucy shook her head, remembering what little she knew of Jen's family "Doubt it. Her mother's dead, remember? And she never mentioned her father..."

"You don't think her roommate helps her out with the baby? Or the Commander? He's always willing to help enlisted, just remember when Ken was having problems with Master Chief, and he's always had a soft spot for Jen..."

Kendra's eyes widened as a seed of a theory took hold "Do you think... They're living next door... We both know she's had a crush on him since forever..."

Before she could say more and even more incriminating, Lucy slapped her hand over Kendra's mouth and dragged her away into a remote corner, shooting her an angry look as she whispered harshly "Don't go spreading your theories around here, you **know **these walls have ears! Someone will overhear you and think it's a confirmed truth and where will they be? Do you really want to destroy careers of two exemplary service members when they're not even here to defend themselves?"

Deflating under the assault Kendra had to nonetheless admit the other woman was right "You're right. Sorry."

"And if you had done the math at least once then you would've also realized it's impossible."

"How come?"

"Jennifer moved in with her roommie around Christmas, right?"

"Yeah." Kendra nodded.

"And she gave birth in May..."

The pointed look Lucy sent her coworker was a waste because by now Kendra had already realized where this was going, her eyes widening "That means she got pregnant in August!"

"Exactly..." Lucy nodded in agreement "4 months before she started living next door to him and smack dab in the middle of the time he was working for Spook Air. You see what I'm getting at?"

"It couldn't have been him. But she never said she was seeing someone..." Kendra looked up at Lucy who nodded in confirmation, letting out a small snicker.

"Who would've thought... our little Jen had a one night stand." she whispered in wonder, giggling "Never thought she had it in her."

Feeling the need to defend their humble, friendly coworker, Lucy pointed out "People make mistakes. Who knows, maybe she was dating at that time and they broke up..."

"True. Speaking of the baby... did she tell you what she's decided to call him? I totally forgot to ask her and she didn't have a lot of time to talk."

"Yeah. William."

Kendra nodded in approval "Good choice. You really think she actually never knew she was pregnant?"

Lucy sighed, shrugging indecisively "I don't know, she says she didn't. But no-one had a clue, she didn't show till the very end. You saw her, she was as slim and gorgeous as ever. Just remember how LTJG Sims blew up when she was pregnant, there was no way to miss it with her."

"Poor Jen, she must've been terrified out of her mind when her water broke and she went into labor, not knowing what was going on."

Grimacing, the older brunette nodded in sympathy, the memory of that day still fresh in her mind. It had been an unpleasant experience for the rest of the staff too, because they didn't know what was going on and the pain Jen was in was quite apparently great.

But the younger woman's sympathy didn't last for long, only until she remembered her own current plight "How much maternity leave has she got left?"

"Two or three weeks I think."

"Thank god." Kendra sighed in relief, smiling at the thought of imminent end of torture..

Suppressing a chuckle, Lucy cut her eyes at the other woman, humor evident in her gaze "You miss her that much, huh?"

"Sure I miss her, but I miss my old job just as much. Working for the Admiral is hard, don't know how she's been able to do it for a year."

"Tiner did it for 7 years..." reminded Lucy gently.

"How was he able to stand it?" Kendra moaned pitifully, feeling sorry for herself "He's the most unpleasant superior I've ever worked under, all he does is yell, shout and growl all day long. Tiner should be given a medal for lasting 7 freaking years."

"He can't be that bad." her friend tried to console her, though she couldn't keep the doubt from her voice.

"Yeah, right. Just yesterday he had me standing at attention for 5 minutes, and I timed it, while he played table-football with rolled paper against himself! I stood there like a moron and he let me wait until he lost before I could give him the documents he had me searching for half an hour."

"Ouch." the older brunette winced sympathetically "But you forgot something."

"What did I forget?" Kendra evil-eyed her suspiciously.

"That by the time Jen's back from her maternity leave he'll be long gone. You'll have to work for him to the end."

Kendra facepalmed herself, groaning as she returned back to her own desk, Lucy's laughter following her.

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	24. Chapter 24

**As always, huge thanks to robertwnielsen, Saissa, byrhthelm, Captain J737, Lynnp, unwittysidekick, marye094, fart fart, carolfd and Michi uk.**

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"Aren't you going to get ready?" Jen looked up at her husband who was still packing up his belongings.

"Nah, not yet."

"We'll have to get going soon." Jen prodded, frowning in puzzlement.

"How far along are you in getting ready?"

"I'm just about to get a shower." she replied, confused.

"In the..." he paused, quickly thinking through what he was about to say, then continued with a cheeky smile "30 years that I've been alive..." Jen giggled at the 30 thing and threw her t-shirt at his head in jest, but Harm continued his story "... I've realized that a woman getting ready for a party is a process as complex and long as a ship getting from having the keel laid down to passing the sea-trials."

Finally looking up his eyes laughed over to her "When you're about to be launched and commissioned, _then_ let me know."

Rolling her eyes in exasperation Jen nonetheless couldn't help giggling. The man could be insufferable, but she couldn't help but love him.

It was over an hour later that Jen deemed it about time to wake up her husband. She was showered, her hair had been washed, dried and put up in the regulations bun, and was just about to start applying make-up when she remembered she should let Harm know, the growing ache in her breasts reminding her it was almost time for her to get out of the bathroom anyway.

"Harm?" she called out as she put a chair in front of the mirror/sink in preparation for the make-up part.

When no response came Jen walked curiously to the door, sticking her head out. Sighing gently when she saw Harm flat on his back on the bed, sleeping deeply as a row of packed and taped cardboard boxes was lined up next to the bed. It never failed to amaze her how quickly he could fall asleep, perhaps a remnant of his time as an active-duty pilot. There was no time to gaze lustfully at him, though, they had to get ready.

She shook his shoulder until his eyes blinked open, gazing at her sleepily.

"I'm about to have a champagne bottle smashed across my bow."

"Huh?" he blinked up at her, tendrils of sleep still woven around him.

"It's time for you to start getting ready."

"Right." Harm yawned and rubbed his hands over his face as he pulled himself up and threw his legs over the side of the bed.

Seeing he was getting to his feet Jen stepped back and let him enter the bathroom, collecting a white T-shirt and fresh boxers along the way, waiting until she heard the shower start.

Taking the opportunity of having a few private minutes she bared her breasts and took her stirring son from his bassinet, placing a small towel over her shoulder and bringing him to her bosom as she crossed the few feet to the bed. He found an erect nipple even before she could've sit down on the bed and latched on, suckling enthusiastically as his small hands grabbed on the heavy mounds. Jen winced slightly when he bit her in his eagerness and, hoping to calm him down at least somewhat she soothingly rubbed his small back, sighing in relief when it worked.

Harm exited the shower even before Will was done with her first breast, with only his hairy legs bared, and averted his eyes, partly to give Jen privacy and partly not to torture himself.

Jen could hear him putter around the apartment as she fed their son, feeling the pressure recede with a grateful sigh.

After she'd burped him she held him for a couple of seconds as he fell asleep, then put him back down on his bed, knowing she didn't have much time left.

Sending him one last loving glance she entered the bathroom, closing the door so she wouldn't disturb his sleep, and got back to getting ready.

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Finally she sighed in satisfaction.

_There. Finally done. And if I do say so myself, I look damn good._

Getting up from the chair she'd put in front of the bathroom mirror and sink, Jen padded over to the door and carefully peaked outside. Harm was nowhere to be seen so she entered the room fully, confirming what she'd already suspected, her husband was MIA from the apartment. The bassient was empty too, except for a piece of paper.

_Took the kid to Mattie. _

Quickly she took off her silk robe and began putting on the pieces of uniform she'd laid out on the bed earlier.

Hearing the door open and close she looked up, calling "Harm?"

"Yeah."

Relieved, she nodded to herself "You ready?"

"Yeah. You?"

"Just about."

"Good. Want a cup of tea before we go?"

"Wouldn't say no to one." she responded. Stepping over to the full-length mirror quite obviously not an original part of the closet, Jen checked herself over to make sure nothing was missing and everything was according to regulations. She frowned at the large piece of glass that another woman had obviously had forced Harm to put there, because she knew Harm too well to believe he would've ever felt he needed for it himself, then mentally berated herself.

_What am I jealous about? Whoever she was, she's in the past and is never coming back, while he's mine for the rest of our lives._

Still, she couldn't escape the knowledge that she would feel a lot better when they'd be finally finished moving into their new house, where there were no ghosts of girlfriends past.

_Just a couple of days more and the last of our possessions will be moved._ she thought as she looked around the almost barren apartment.

Stepping out of the bedroom her eyes landed on Harm as he stood in front of the windows, looking out. Her breath caught in her throat at the sight of him in that uniform and fire started low in her belly.

He truly was magnificent and the dinner dress only emphasised his broad shoulder, narrow waist and long legs.

Taking her cup off the island she approached him, watching him turn to look at her, his initial appreciation turning into confusion.

"Why are you wearing the Summer Dinner Dress?"

"And why are you wearing the Winter version?" Jen returned his amusement when her mind got out of the gutter and realized the meaning of what she was seeing "We've been on Summer Whites for over a month..."

"Bud called me.. the Admiral ordered Winter Dinner Dress with White Jacket for the men, but Bud didn't say anything about the women staying the same.." Harm concluded, sighing as realization dawned "He's messing with the staff. Again."

Her eyes widening, Jen then smirked, nodding in agreement "One last joke to play on us. Hopefully he won't be going from table to table and eat off our plates."

Harm chuckled "I think you and I are safe from that fate."

"Why?"

"Chegwidden is not big on veggies."

Jen wrinkled her nose in thought, then laughed when the mental image of the Admiral's appalled expression when faced with her and Harm's food came to mind.

Ignoring her amusement Harm's face became serious when he then told her about his talk with their young charge.

Jen's reaction was pretty much like his "I'm glad she wants to work things out with her Dad, but..."

"But?" he prodded.

"I'll miss her." Jen shrugged helplessly, the sudden tears taking her by complete surprise.

"Hey, it's okay." Harm soothed, immediately taking her into his arms.

"I'm okay." Jen sniffed, wiping her cheeks in irritation "I don't know what's going on with me these days. I'm alright one second and then the next I'm either crying, yelling or wanting to rip your clothes off."

Harm smirked "I vote for the third option."

Rolling her eyes, she laughed "I'm sure you do."

Then she sobered, leaning into his embrace "I'm slowly starting to get fed up with feeling like Bipolar Susie."

"Remember what the doctor told us, it's after-effects from the pregnancy and should go away in a couple of weeks."

"Weeks, weeks, it's always weeks." Jen repeated irritably "Why weeks and not days?"

Not knowing what to say to that, and deciding saying nothing was better than potentially saying something that would make her even angrier, Harm just continued holding her, rubbing her back, until the time arrived for them to leave for the Dining-out.

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	25. Chapter 25

It seems that finally ff. net has done what they set out to do and authors will be able to reply to their readers' reviews from now on. Hopefully.

Not sure if I like these yellow-green bubbles though. *shrug*

**As always, huge thanks to Lynnp, byrhthelm, robertwnielsen, Saissa, carolfd, unwittysidekick, fart fart, marye094 and Michi uk.**

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"You sure you can handle him on your own?" Harm asked worriedly as he and Jen stood in Mattie's apartment, a textbook example of new parents.

Rolling her eyes in irritation, Mattie let out a huff "Relax, Harm, I've changed his diaper before, know how to prep his bottle and everything, and Jen left some milk for the little guy."

Harm looked at his wife for confirmation and Jen nodded, her own eyes black with anxiety. She'd pumped a meal for him today in case they would be late, so he was covered in that respect and she knew she could trust Mattie, but leaving him was hard for purely emotional reasons.

"Okay, Matts, but don't hesitate to call us, okay?"

"I won't. But you have to go now, otherwise you'll be late."

Reluctantly the two parents got under way, spending the first half hour of the drive in silence until Harm couldn't take it anymore.

"You okay?"

"I feel like the worst mother in the world, like I'm abandoning him." Jen's anguish was plain to hear and Harm squeezed her hand tenderly in support.

"I know what you mean, I feel the same."

"This is the first time I'm away from him since he was born." continued Jen.

"I know." Harm remembered reading about this in that pregnancy book written for men "He'll be okay, Mattie will take good care of him and she has both of our numbers."

"Hm.." murmured Jen, staring out the side-window.

Harm sighed, knowing there was nothing he could do or say that would help her get through, she needed to cope with it herself. In just weeks they would be going back to work and if she wasn't ready by then, then she would have a problem.

Visibly pulling herself together and sending her train on another track Jen bravely smiled and inquired with genuine curiousity "Do you have your toast ready?"

"Uh huh." Harm let through a mischevious grin.

Looking at him expectantly Jen had to sigh in exasperation "Well? Aren't you going to tell me about it?"

"Nope." Harm smirked, invoking an irritated-amused huff from his co-pilot "It's short and sweet and that's all you get to find out ahead of time."

Shaking her head in fond exasperation Jen let herself then sink back against the comfy seat of the Lexus, content to watch the world go by.

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Turning off the engine Harm turned to Jen as she was staring listlessly through the windshield.

"We're here." he said needlessly, but wanting to shatter the oppressive silence.

Jen said nothing, just nodded, but Harm noticed her white-knuckled grip on the door handle.

"You okay?" he asked gently, covering with his hand the one of hers resting in her lep, fiddling with her small purse.

"We shouldn't have come together. People will talk. They'll get ideas and they'll talk and then everything's gonna come out." Jen rambled anxiously, the flood gates opened.

"Shhhh. Everything's gonna be okay. They're our coworkers, our friends. Nothing's gonna happen and no-one will find out anything they're not supposed to until we're ready to tell them."

Smirking good-naturedly he teased "Well, provided you take that ring off your finger, that is..."

Jen's eyes landed on her left hand and she gasped when she realized she still had her wedding band proudly displayed. Quickly taking it off she was about to stick it in her small hand-purse when she stopped, hesitating, then withdrew. Reaching to her neck, she grasped the thin chain of her dog-tags and lifted it over her head. Quickly disassembling the chain she slid her ring onto one end, watching as it fell down to clink against her tags, before putting the chain together and hanging it around her neck again. Tucking the tags under her jumper she pressed a hand over their indentation, her wedding band resting over her heart, missing the smile that curved Harm's lips as she did all that.

"They're gonna be angry at us for keeping it from them when we do tell."

Knowing she was right and it being something he had already thought of, Harm winced, but took her hand in his and pressed his lips to her fingers "Yeah, I don't doubt that."

"Especially LtCol MacKenzie."

"I'll talk to her tonight, make it clear I'm not playing the game anymore. I've moved on, she should too. Hopefully by the time we go public she will already have let go."

Grimacing only now did Harm remember something from the past.

"Oh, man..." he moaned, facepalming himself.

"What?" Jen looked at him worried "What's wrong?"

"I just remembered... Mac hid her marriage from the entire HQ for the first 3 years she was stationed here. How much are you willing to be she'll think I didn't tell her about us just to get back at her for that?"

Jen looked sufficiently scared at the thought as Harm, already resigned to his fate, reached over, grabbed the handle and opened his door.

"What's done is done and we need to get in there before we start attracting attention."

Nodding, Jen followed his example, got out, shut the door behind her and hearing the lock and alarm engage as Harm used his remote, then nervously straightened her uniform as she still stood by the vehicle.

Coming to his wife's side Harm peered down at her.

"Ready?"

Taking a deep breath she nodded "Ready."

"Okay."

Jen moved to go, but Harm stopped her with a hand around her upper arm. Looking up at him inquisitively she was amused to find him a little embarrassed.

"What's wrong?"

"Here."

She looked down at the small piece of tin he'd placed in her hands.

"What's this?"

"It's a thimble."

Staring at him perplexed she wanted to know "Is that some kind of secret message that you have some clothes to fix or something?"

"No!" Harm sighed, exasperated, and looked around to make sure they had privacy. Thankfully he'd parked in a dark corner of the lot.

"Have you never read Peter Pan?"

He could see Jen's eyes unfocus at his question as she went back and tried to remember the correlation between these two things. Suddenly her eyes went wide and a smirk appeared on her lips.

"That's probably the corniest thing you've ever done." Jen giggled, but couldn't stop her eyes from filling with tears.

"Everybody already calls me Peter Pan, so why not..."

Laughter abandoned Jen and her eyes narrowed angrily at that "Ignore them, they have no idea what they're talking about, the idiots. They should just shut their mouths and do a little work for a change."

Sincerely touched by her defence Harm smiled down at her, passing over another small object.

Calming down in the face of his insistent declarations of love Jen rolled her eyes "How many do you have with you?"

"Not that many, there's not a lot of pockets on this uniform that it wouldn't look weird. You'll have to start giving them back eventually." waggling his eyebrows Harm gave her the grin that never failed to threaten the stability of her knees.

Recovering, Jen gave him a saucy smile as she turned and shashayed towards the entrance, making sure to give her hips an extra sway, throwing over her shoulder "We'll see."

Harm shook his head and chuckled before hurrying to catch up with her.

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	26. Chapter 26

**As always, huge thanks to Lynnp, Saissa, jojobevco, marye094, Captain J 737, unwittysidekick, Michi uk, fart fart, mr mark gibbs 1989 and robertwnielsen.**

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Walking to the entrance of the luxurious hall, Harm's hands itched to slip into Jen's, but with a tremenduous force of will he restrained himself, the looming threat of consequences of such an action a pretty good deterrent.

Overtaking his wife Harm made sure he was walking two paces ahead as they slipped back into the roles of an officer and an enlisted, following protocol as they'd promised the Admiral.

Giving their invitations to the Duty Petty Officer they waited to be announced before stepping inside the entrance hall.

Immediately a group of enlisted women and men began making their way towards them in a manner as dignified as possible and Harm saw Jen relax, himself recognizing the faces of the HQ staff.

Knowing the longer he stayed by her side the more attention they'd draw he whispered to her as he parted their ways "See, what did I tell you? There's nothing to worry about. I'll see you later."

Jen looked up and nodded with a tense smile, not liking that they had to be apart right now, but she knew had they not, they would've only drawn unwelcome attention to themselves.

Giving the incoming friends a smile on his way to deposit his cover on the appropriate table Harm noticed the Admiral standing not far away, arms behind his back, feet a shoulder-width apart, head leaned back and a frown on his face; the man was a picture-part of a reprimand, demand and a stern CO.

A bad feeling in the pit of his stomach emerged and he quickly relieved himself of the piece of uniform in question, then determinedly made his way over to his boss.

"Admiral, sir." Harm greeted respectfully.

"Commander, I'm surprised you managed to take a couple of hours away from your busy schedule." the old man's face was stern, but he tried his best at a slight softening "How is fatherhood treating you?"

Surprised by the pleasant question, yet still wary of a bear-trap, Harm glanced around to insure they still had privacy and shrugged "Except for the constant sleep-deprivation it's going pretty good, sir."

"Good, I'm glad to hear that."

Even though there was no malicious intent to read anywhere in the tone or the face, Harm had a bit of trouble believing that claim. Perhaps he'd just gotten too paranoid during the course of the last 12 months, the fact that the Admiral had forbidden any contact or even support during his incarceration and trial and his vicious behaviour after Harm had saved Mac, was not doing anything to dispel his trust issues towards the man.

"But, back to the matter at hand, I hope you're not going to give some corny toast, CDR, I have no doubt you're happy to see me go."

Harm observed him calmly "Not entirely true, sir."

Chegwidden raised a disbelieving eyebrow "No?"

"With the exception of the last 12 months, the 7 years before that _was_ mostly a pleasure and an honor serving with you, sir."

Now the other eyebrow had joined it's compatriot as Chegwidden questioned that claim with a disbelieving voice "Really?"

"Aye, sir."

Observing the younger man closely for a minute, Chegwidden then nodded "Well, you were occasionally a real pain in the six, determined to bend any rule you could to complete your mission, too smart for your own good and could never decide whether you wanted to be a pilot or a lawyer, but you're also the finest officer I've ever served with, Mr Rabb."

"Thank you, sir." Harm nodded, but even with the concluding compliment he was all too aware that his CO counted most of the characteristics he'd listed as a flaw and not a strength.

"Make no mistake, though, Rabb, I'm still damn glad you're not gonna be my problem anymore. Let whoever comes after me bug himself with you, you've caused me to lose enough hair as it is."

Chegidden saw the twinkling in Harm's eyes and the jerks of the muscles in his cheeks and looked at him sternly.

"Not a word!" he growled.

"Aye, sir."

Glaring at him to make sure he would obey, Chegwidden then got down to business "Will be having this talk with Coates too, before the night is out. The reason I wanted to talk to you now, privately, is to let you know that I selected CDR Turner for Interim JAG. Normally you would've been my choice as you're the senior officer with longest time at the HQ bar none and with having served in my stead all the times I was away, but with your paternity leave and small son..."

Harm blinked, surprised at the old man's sensitivity and thoughtfulness. He certainly hadn't expected it, not after everything that'd happened.

"Bewarned, though, that next week when giving command over to Mr Turner and getting him up to speed on everything, I'll be letting him know about your... familial situation. Just as I'll leave notes for my successor, so there won't be any unpleasant surprises, either for him or for you two."

Harm winced, not looking forward to that particular discussion with Sturgis. The stick up the other man's six had grown so damn big ever since he'd split up with Bobbie that it was now the size of the Eiffel Tower. The stuck up Commander definitely wouldn't be pleased with this, probably seeing it as callous playing with the rules.

_I'll have to drop by the office and update both of our Page 2s before that happens. Otherwise I can get ready for another "nice", long conversation with Sturgis if I wait for after he's been briefed._

"If I don't, you two won't be able to take any vacation days for your honeymoon..."

_Well, there's that... Though, how honeymoon is supposed to work with two kids, especially when Jen is breast-feeding one of them, I have no clue. Aren't babies supposed to be a CONSEQUENCE of honeymoon, not the other way around? As in, no babies on honeymoon, but a baby _after _the honeymoon... That is, IF we even get the chance to take the time off... we've been pretty much snowed-in with cases lately..._

"Aye, sir, thank you, sir."

"I think that will be all for now. Unless you have something to add?"

"Aye, sir, only that I'll be dropping by on Monday to update mine and Jen's Page 2."

"Are you thinking of coming out and want to get her a new ID and name-tag?"

"Not yet, sir, we'll wait a while longer, neither one of us is ready to deal with the aftermath of that so soon. We want to get used to being together before we expose ourselves to the gossip and the looks. I just want to change our living address."

"You're moving?"

"Aye, sir, we had my family's homestead renovated and are moving in this weekend."

Chegwidden nodded "Then be there first thing Monday morning. But for now I think you should go and rescue your wife, she's looking like the Barbarians are at the gate."

"Aye aye. Thank you, Admiral."

Waiting for the man's nod of dismissal Harm turned and left to join Jen, who was looking harrassed and way too relieved to see him heading her way.

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**Reviews are love.**


	27. Chapter 27

It's been a while since my last update of this fic, so I'm hoping this chapter won't disappoint.

**Huge thanks to Saissa, Lynnp, unwittysidekick, byrhthelm, marye904, Michi uk, fart fart, carolfd and Vesja.**

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So intent was Harm on closing the distance with his wife that only Jen's suddenly sour expression alerted him something was wrong, but by that time it was already too late.

Injecting herself in front of him, Mac blocked Harm's path in such an unpredicted action he almost mowed her down, not having seen her before the very last second. As it was he barely stopped in time and then stared down for a second confused in two brown eyes filled with irritation. If there was anything that Mac hated it was to be overlooked.

"Hey."

"Hi."

"Sorry, didn't see you there." Harm smiled apologetically, but couldn't stop his eyes from leaving her and seeking out his wife.

"So I've noticed." Mac retorted, bringing Harm's gaze back to her.

"How've you been?"

"Busy." Mac raised an eyebrow "Someone decided to take a vacation, leaving me with all the work."

Harm knew Mac didn't get any extra case-load because of his absence, but decided this wasn't the battlefield he was willing to die on.

"Yeah, sorry about that, but I needed to take some time off to sort a few things out and then the Admiral insisted I use my vacation time from last year."

Noting something bad must've happened for Harm to take time off, Mac nonetheless ignored it in favor of pursuing her interests "Oh? I didn't know you HAD time off left."

Harm's face lost all jolliness, recognizing the barb about his time away from JAG the previous year "I didn't take a day off last year, I was out of the Navy, so, yes, I did have time off left."

The look in his eyes made it clear he didn't want to talk about it, so she dropped it because while she'd never had a problem starting fights with him in front of witnesses, invited guests of honor with the ranks of flag officers were something completely different from the regular JAG staff.

It was better she changed the topic of conversation to something neutral, so that's what she did.

"Did you bring someone?" asked Mac, huskily, injecting a sad tone as she expected a negative answer.

Harm sighed inaudibly as he stiffened. Damn, the woman knew how to act, the right tone of voice to adopt, that sad look and timbre, that never-ending "Oh woe is me" and eternal martyr/victim air she was a master of exuding, knowing just the right buttons to push to make him forget everything she'd said and done. But not anymore. No. He wouldn't feel sorry for her, his heart wouldn't constrict and he wouldn't give in.

Those days were over.

Sarah MacKenzie, meet the new and improved Harmon Rabb Junior.

"Yeah, I'm here with Coates."

"Oh." Mac looked surprised, make that, shell-shocked, having expected he'd be predictable and say something like ' No, I'm here with you' or something else stupid along those lines that would let her know she still had him on her hook. The fact that the hook was empty when she reeled the line was a very unpleasant shock for her, one she hoped was just a fluke.

"You've come here with Petty Officer Coates? Are you sure that's wise?"

Harm's eyes narrowed down at her "Why wouldn't it be?"

Mac looked at him like he was daft. When she spoke she adopted the tone one has when talking to a particularly slow-witted child "Because she's an enlisted? And because she's... Coates?"

"She's also my ward's roommate, neighbor and friend and had a baby just a couple of weeks ago."

"Yeah and that..."

Feeling a little rude at Mac's putting Jen down Harm interrupted her "And she's living in DC and supporting a newborn on E-6's salary. If you think that's easy, I'd like to see you manage. In her situation every little bit helps."

Harm then bit his tongue, realizing his defence of Jen was a little too fierce for a mere neighbor and coworker. Mac's raised eyebrows told him she thought exactly that as did her next words.

"You really want to throw your career away on an ENLISTED?" she demanded incredulously "21 years of service just down the drain on some silly little girl, stupid enough to go out and have unprotected sex and end up knocked up by a stranger?"

Harm saw red and with last bit of restraint took a deep breath, fighting mightily with himself to regain composure and not lash out at his former best friend. He knew Mac wasn't being intentionally cutting, he'd accepted long ago that that was just how she was, it was who she was and she never thought her words through before she said them. Mac and inconsiderate went hand in hand and he just had to accept that.

Nonetheless she was lucky that she was a woman. Had she been a man she would've been lying on the floor with a broken jaw the second she'd uttered those hateful words, even with flag officers for witnesses.

Still, he couldn't let her get away with that, Mac had been allowed to get away with everything for far too long from far too many people and because of that she was the way she was. She'd always known how to profit from being in a "man's world", she just batted those huge eyes, showed off her body a bit, either breasts or her six, or gave a taste to a superior officer and was immediately reaping rewards.

Her affair with Farrow had proven beyond a shadow of doubt she wasn't above sleeping her way up. And the aftermath with her appointment to Law School and then OCS proved she never paid for her screw-ups, but was rewarded for them, while others paid the price, like Farrow with his career.

"I seem to remember I ' threw my career away' on someone just recently who, contrary to Coates, didn't even appreciate my help nor my sacrifice. They even failed to say ' thank you' after I killed a dozen men with my bare hands and then untied them from the table they were about to be tortured on." he couldn't help but point out bitterly "And I would've also expected a little more understanding for Coates' situation from you, LtCol, after all, you're not a stranger to making mistakes big enough to affect your life, even though others always had to pay for them. I'm helping Coates out because that's what friends do for each other, but I guess you don't know that because you've always been just too me, me, me."

The narrowing of Mac's eyes and the flush spreading over her neck and cheeks told him he was dangerously close to the line where Mac would forget decorum and protocol and let him have it with both barrels in front of the Admirals, Generals, Senators, Congressmen and every other bigwig in attendance. Biting his cheek to the point it hurt he donned a more friendly expression as he continued.

"Thank you for your concern, Mac, but it's all above board. We've cleared everything with the Admiral and he has nothing against some inter-office support of a new mother."

"Oh?" Mac wondered stupefied, still breathing hard. _Why would he okay something like that?_

"Yes." Harm nodded, then shot another look to Jen who was looking at him with loving concern in her dark eyes, before looking down at Mac again "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to notify the mob that they have to take their places."

Dazed, Mac nodded and Harm didn't waste time putting some distance between them.

Arriving at the small group huddling together in a corner, Harm could see Jen had a few pictures out, showing them to her friends who were awwing over them.

Amusement tilting his lips Harm stopped next to them, his superior height making it easy to look down at the photos past their shoulders. As another chorus of approval at the photo of Will flailing about sounded out he put his own two cents in.

"He's a cute little bugger, isn't he? Almost makes up for the stink he produces."

Five heads snapped up at his unexpected voice, eyes wide and appalled at such words, but then they registered the mischevious look in his eyes and the smirk big enough to show white teeth. Jen just rolled her eyes, snickering.

"Commander."

There was a round of respectful nods around the group and Harm smiled, greeting them back.

"Turnbull, Blakes, Richards and Masters. Richards, your mother out of the hospital yet? How is she?"

"Yes, sir, she is. Getting better, we're keeping our fingers crossed. Thank you for asking."

"Dr Milichnik is the best." Harm agreed, nodding.

"Thank you for recommending him, sir." gratitude shone out of her eyes and Harm felt his ear-tips redden at the praise.

"No problem." eager to get attention off him he looked at the youngest woman of the group "Settling in as the Yeoman, Blakes?"

"Aye, sir." responded the young woman a bit unsure "Getting there."

"Just remember his bark is usually worse than his bite." Harm confided, giving Jen a joking glare when she giggled at his words, raising a hand over her mouth "But in a week you'll have to start all-over when the Interim takes over. The only advice I can give you is to just keep on doing a good job and you'll be fine."

"Thank you, sir, I'll do that." Kendra thanked the Commander, then looked at Lucy who was giving her a I-told-you-so look.

Jen just looked on with a small smile at the friendliness and care with which her husband interacted with her fellow enlisted.

"Now, I think it's time we go to our tables, I just saw the bagpiper getting ready."

There was a chorus of agreement as the four enlisted started making their way to the dining room.

"Ready, Coates?" Harm questioned, gallantly waving with his arm in the direction of their destination.

Jen looked up at him amused, eyes twinkling at the grimace he made at having to call her by her old last name, instead of either her first name or new last name.

"Aye, sir, just about."

Exploiting their temporary solitude Harm bent down, whispering "You okay?"

Tilting her head up, Jen smiled lovingly at his concern "Yeah, I'm okay, they're good friends. They only wanted to know if I'm okay and how's William and if they can help in any way. But more important is, are _you_ okay? Something the LtCol said seemed to upset you..."

Harm unconsciously straightened at the memory of Mac's words and the muscle in his jaw started twitching as he glared in front of him. Looking around to make sure they were unobserved, Jen caressed his forearm down to his hand, before slipping something into it. Broken out of his memory Harm looked down, raising an eyebrow when he found a thimble laying on his palm. Diverting his eyes to his wife he could feel himself relax and melt at the naked look of love, adoration and complete support in her deep pools.

_What have I done to deserve this wonderful woman? I'm not worthy._

Smiling tenderly Harm caressed her dear face with his eyes as he reached into his pocket to deposit the thimble, pulling out a red-colored one. Glancing around he took Jen's small hand in his, placed the thimble into her open hand and gently closed it around the small piece of plastic.

Jen's eyes shined with tears that she barely kept from bursting out, but she still sniffed "How many DO you have?"

"That, my dear, is classified." he whispered.

"Oh, I heff veyz of meyking you tolk." Jen joked with a really pathetic accent, laughter dancing in her eyes.

Harm chuckled, correcting his words as he smirked cheekily "I mean, I _could_ tell you, but then I'd have to kiss you."

Jen's eyes darkened "In that case, prepare for intense cross-examination as soon as we get home, counselor, but right now we must get to our places."

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**Reviews are love.**


	28. Chapter 28

Those of you who haven't recently looked at recent story updates on the FFN JAG site, I would like to alert you to the fact that one of our own, **byrhthelm,** has by now posted several excellent Harm/Jen and Harm/Loren stories.

www. fanfiction. net/u/2883323/

Go read his work and **don't forget to review**, so he'll keep on writing! There's nothing more discouraging for a new writer than lack of feedback!

**A HEADS-UP: in three days time I'll be replacing chapters 19 and 20 with their revised versions. After a very careful consideration I decided the new versions are much better. Thus, if by some nebulous chance any of you is saving this story on their computer, you have until Thursday to save those chapters for future reference, comparison and memories. Thank you.**

_Thanks to robertwnielsen, Saissa, mr mark gibbs 1989, Captain J 737, carolfd, byrhthelm, fart fart, unwittysidekick, zeilfanaat, Vesja, Lynnp and marye904_.

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They arrived in the dining hall and took their places just in time for the bagpiper to announce the Admiral's official arrival by playing the Scottish patriotic song "Scotland the brave". Harm blinked at the choice of music, bewildered over how it could be appropriate, but let it go. After 20 years in the military he knew all too well that many things in the service didn't necessarily make sense.

Sitting across from Jen, Harm could observe her and talk to her without arousing suspicion, something he took full advantage of. After spending the last three weeks constantly in her presence, the last couple of hours of forced separation almost had him experiencing withdrawal symptoms.

Whenever a smile curved her lips, or she blushed noticing his stare, or when she laughed at Mickey's predicament, he was again astounded just how gorgeous she was. The warmest and most giving person he'd ever known, an amazing mother and wife and a breath-taking siren, all in one package.

_How did I get so lucky?_ he asked himself for what seemed like the thousandth time.

The dinner was soon over and mingling began.

A while later when returning from the toilet, Harm walked down the wide staircase, stopping when he saw his wife cornered by several coworkers and wearing a very displeased moue. Not the same people as before, but the trouble-makers and self-serving corpse-tramplers of the office, with their Queen presiding.

Quickly closing the distance between them, trying to stay unnoticed, Harm's ears caught what was being said.

_It looks like the gloves are off now._

"Who is William's father?"

"The man I love." Jen answered vaguely, knowing from their frustrated looks they weren't satisfied with her answer. She didn't feel guilty for holding things from them, with this crowd it was the best decision possible. They'd find out in a few months when she and Harm were ready for their secret to come out.

"How come we've never heard of him... or met him?" asked Ensign Cartwright.

"I wanted to keep my personal life separate from my professional." to soften her words a little she smiled "HQ is like a fish bowl sometimes, having a little privacy is refreshing. I don't like to air my laundry for all to see, I don't thrive on attention."

Harm stepped into the shadows, knowing this was a fight Jen would have to battle alone. He couldn't always go rescue her, partly because that would get them unwanted attention and speculation and partly simply because she was her own person and knew how and wanted to stand up for herself. He also doubted Jen would appreciate if he constantly meddled, so he would step in only if things got a bit too bloody.

"Are you hiding something, Petty Officer?" Mac finally cut in, her cold voice sending shivers down the spines of the on-lookers.

Jen turned to her, looking Mac straight in the eyes. "I don't have anything to say because it's frankly none of anyone's business, especially yours, ma'am. My private life is just that and I don't let it interfere with my professional life."

Mac recognised the barb for what it was and with an angry nod acknowledged Jen's victory in this match.

"If you'll excuse me, I have to visit the ladies' room."

Jen walked away, but Mac followed her.

"I want to know..." the Marine started ranting, but Jen cut her off, glaring at the older woman.

Harm had never seen his sweet-tempered Jen lose her patience with anyone, the closest she'd ever come were the tears when he'd followed her to that bar at Christmas, so he was quite surprised and impressed.

"As I just said, my private life is none of your business, ma'am. And I'm telling you straight-forward that if you won't drop this, I'll be bringing charges against you for harrassement, mobbing and creating a hostile working environment. I don't think I'll be lacking in witnesses, do you?"

That shut Mac up and she glared at the smaller woman. Jen just narrowed her eyes at Mac and walked away.

Mac was standing there steaming when Harm decided enough was enough, she couldn't go on harrassing people like she'd done to him, especially when the person in question was a mother of a newborn and his wife.

"What are you doing, Mac?" he asked tiredly, walking up to his former freind.

"She started it!" Mac whispered furiously, angry to first be told off by that stupid little girl and now by having Harm accuse her of being the one at fault.

"No, she didn't. I saw everything." Harm sighed, rubbing his face wearily "Look, this is not the time nor the place. Can you meet me in 15 minutes out the back? There's a garden and a bench right beside the door..."

Mac stared at him piercingly, trying to figure out what was going on in his mind, but Harm kept his expression blank. Knowing she had no other choice if she wanted to find out what was on his mind, she gave in.

"Okay, 15 minutes."

Harm's shoulders dropped in relief "Good, I'll see you there."

Having a pretty good idea where Jen had gone, Harm made his was inconspicuously across the main hall to a smaller empty room to the side.

Opening the door he poked his head inside, locating the brightly dressed figure of his wife immediately, even in the dark.

Placing a chair under the door-handle to insure privacy he silently eliminated the distance, slipping his arms around the petite woman.

Jen had been standing in the dark, looking outside and trying to regain controls of her emotions when she felt warmth wash over her. Even though she couldn't hear him, she knew her husband had just entered the room so she wasn't surprised when suddenly strong arms wrapped around her slim waist and drew her into a hard male chest. Sighing softly she melted back into him and turned her head to nuzzle her cheek into his uniform-covered chest.

"You okay?"

"I am now." pausing for a second, she breathed in deeply "I was so angry I saw red. I barely got myself under control before I hit her."

Jen could feel his chest reverberate even before she could hear his chuckle, sending a shiver up her spine.

"You wouldn't be the first one to do it. She deserved it. But I'm still glad you didn't, assaulting an officer is a charge you definitely don't need on your record, no matter how much she had it coming."

"I think it's the hormones. Yes, she pushed all the right buttons and, yes, I was angry. But this wasn't the first time she pulled something like that and it never sent me over the edge like this before."

Harm was silent for a second, processing this before tightening his arms around the small woman "Just a couple of weeks more, then we'll be burning them off quite efficiently. Just hang in there for these two weeks."

Looking up at him Jen grinned "I'm counting the days."

Slipping her hands down her body she placed them on his arms where they held her, then sighed in contentment, thrilling in the freedom to be allowed to say these words "I love you, Harm, and I can't wait to make love to you. I just hate we have to wait so long yet, as if ten months hasn't been long enough since we've last been together and two years before that."

"Patience, my love, it'll come, you'll see."

Jen nodded, making a noise of happiness in her chest as she burrowed deeper into his embrace. They stared out into the night beyond the glass for a minute before Jen's voice broke the silence.

"Think we'll be home by 2200?"

"No clue. Why?"

"My show is on then."

"The soap opera?" Harm looked down at her, eyebrow raised.

"It's not a soap opera!" Jen defended, indignantly "It's a relationship, family and life drama."

"It's a soap opera." Harm repeated, stating in a tone that brooked no argument, but was belied by his twitching lips.

Jen sighed loudly, rolling her eyes "Okay, so it's a soap opera. I really don't want to miss it."

Pressing his lips to her hair, he calmed her down "I set the VCR to tape it for you, so don't worry. Even though I have no idea why you like to kill your brain cells by watching that crap, much less why I'm helping you with that. Or how Mattie managed to talk me into buying that black plastic Satan."

"You're taping it?"

Had Jen ever had a doubt that he loved her, not that she did, then this would've been all the proof she'd need to see the truth. And if she hadn't been already madly in love with him, this would've insured it.

"Yeah, I am. What about... you know... them?" he muttered, shooting a light-fast glance at her breasts and the looking back up, face reddening.

Jen suppressed a giggle, he was so cute when embarrassed "What about them?"

"Are they starting to... erm... get painful?"

This time it was Jen blushing, her flush gaining in intensity when an unbidden image of Harm nibbling sensually on her dark peaks appeared in her mind. The intensity and speed of arousal she received at the picture astounded her, leaving her grateful her husband was holding her up because her knees suddenly went weak. Oh, yeah, the permission to make love won't come soon enough. If it went on like that she'd either say "screw waiting" and ravish him or exploit alternate possibilities of making love with her husband.

"No, they're good. For now."

Harm nodded, catching the qualifier. Nuzzling his cheek against Jen's hair he sighed in disappointment when he had to let go and turned her around.

"And to this end I regretfully must leave you, Mrs Rabb, to talk to my former partner. The sooner I'm done with that, the sooner we can get out of here."

"Good luck." Jen wished, a corner of her mouth curving.

"Thanks, I love you. Will be back soon."

Taking the opportunity Harm quickly kissed her lips, then held still when Jen wiped his own of with a tissue to make sure there was no trace of her lipstick. The last thing he needed was to be wearing another woman's lipstick when talking with Mac.

Jen looked after him as he walked away, her smile disappearing as she murmured "You're gonna need it."

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**Reviews are love.**


	29. Chapter 29

First I'd like to say your reception of the last two chapters completely blew me away, I never expected such a positive reaction. Thank you, especially **thank you to byrhthelm, Saissa, robertwnielsen, Lynnp, unwittysidekick, jpstar57, jojobevco, marye904, zeilfanaat, Michi uk, Captain J 737 and fart fart.**

Today you're receiving a new chapter, but unfortunately not the one you were hoping for.

As I gave a heads-up on Monday, I'm replacing chapters 19 and 20 with new versions. 19 is only slightly changed, actually just the last couple of sentences so there's no conflict with a lead-in to the new 20.

On the other hand Chapter 20 has gone through a major revision and is mostly a new chapter and, not just that, it includes changes to the plot-line and to the lives of the Rabb family. Personally I think this version works much better, but that's just my humble opinion.

I deliberated over this, first on whether to even make these changes because the story could still stand without them; and then whether to today update the story with the anticipated Harm/Mac talk or do this chapter swap. In the end I decided to just be done with it and did the chapter swap. I hope you can forgive me for pushing the Harm/Mac talk back a couple of days.

Having said that, I assure you, the Harm/Mac talk chapter is completely written and had I not had the urge to change the fundamental flaw I saw in chap 20, it would've been posted today. But I didn't want to push too much to read on you in just one day.

I'll be very grateful for your reviews to let me know how you like this new version, especially since as I said it'll mean changes to the plot.

If you have already reviewed the old chap 20, you can just leave a review for the new version by "reviewing these author's notes chapter" instead.

Or : I enabled **anonymous reviews** so those of you who have already reviewed the old chap 20, can still review the new chap 20. To do this, you have to clear your current fanfiction. net cookies that you have amassed during your surfing.

There are two ways to do that.

The more precise (deleting only selected cookies) is to go if you're using FIREFOX or some other Mozilla web-browser (Netscape, Flock, etc.): TOOLS - OPTIONS - PRIVACY TAB - SHOW COOKIES. On the list that is then popped up just highlight and delete all the cookies dealing with fanfiction. net. Then you'll be able to review as an anonymous reader, but if you use your standard login name I'll know who you are. :)

The other, faster and easier, way is by deleting all the cookies that you currently have on your browser, but that will mean again logging-in to any other social site or mail account you are currently using. TOOLS - CLEAR PRIVATE DATA and check the box in front of COOKIES, then press CLEAR PRIVATE DATA NOW.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy the new update and stay tuned for Monday when I get back with the Harm/Mac talk.

T.T.F.N.!


	30. Chapter 30

And, now, ladies and gentlemen, the long awaited and much anticipated conclusion of the Dining Out, featuring the JAG's senior attorneys having "a talk".

Applause!

:D

Kudos for the two proposed added charges go to **byrhthelm.**

This chapter is twice the size of my usual updates, I hope you don't mind. If you do, just say so and I'll cut it in half. :)

Thanks to all who reviewed, please keep it up, it gives me motivation to continue writing and helps me grow as a writer.

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Opening the glass door, Harm looked to the left and caught sight of Mac sitting on the bench waiting for him.

Approaching slowly, he sat down and just looked at her for a second.

"I'm glad you came."

Nodding jerkily, Mac's stare seemed to penetrate him "Yes, I did. So, what is it that you wanted to talk to me about?"

"Before we get to that, I'd like to ask you to leave Coates alone. She's just given birth, is getting barely any sleep and doesn't need additional stress. It isn't good for her and isn't good for her baby."

Mac narrowed her eyes, the brown depths flashing with fire and eyes. Harm would probably never get over how could two sets of eyes so identical in color be so different. One set always shining with love and warmth, the other with anger and coldness. Was it really PTSD or had Mac simply lost her way through the years to simply become an angry, lonesome woman, no PTSD involved?

"Why are you defending her?"

Harm sighed, shaking his head "I'm not. She is a strong person and doesn't need anyone to fight her battles."

Mac snorted and Harm shook his head at her ignorance.

"Mac, just because someone is sweet, friendly and generous, doesn't mean they're a pushover, much less weak. Coates is one of the strongest people I know and she will protect people she cares about until her last breath."

Seeing her dubious look Harm realized his words weren't getting through, Mac was namely the product of thinking that the only the aggressive, impatient and selfish kind, the ones who were always the loudest and did everything to stand in the spotlight kind of women were the strong kind.

He felt sorry for his ex-friend, because she couldn't be more wrong if she tried. The strongest women he'd ever known had been the exact opposite of that model. In light of that revelation he decided to belay that issue for now and get back to the one more urgent.

"But for some reason you can't seem to stop attacking her. It needs to end, the office is going through enough already. If you don't cease and desist, I _know_ that Coates is going to go ahead with her promise to you. You were my best friend, but you've changed, I don't know you anymore. If Coates ends up having to bring charges against you I'll advise her to add Conduct Unbecoming and even perhaps Service Discrediting Conduct. I will hate myself for doing that, so I'm asking you to quit while you still can, before you bring storm of hellfire and brimstone down on the office."

Mac glared at him.

"I want you to promise me you'll leave Coates in peace." Harm repeated gently.

"Harm..."

"No, Mac, I'm not backing down on this. I want your word as an officer of the Marine Corps."

Mac glowered at him even harder, then uttered through gritted teeth "Okay, I promise."

Harm exhaled in relief "Thank you."

Mac's angry stare didn't lessen "Is this why you wanted to talk to me? If that is all, I'll just go..."

He caught her arm before she could get to her feet "No, that's not all."

Bristling at how he manhandled her she sat back down, jerking her arm to dislodge his grip and looked at him suspiciously "Okay, then, what is it?"

Harm took a deep breath, he hadn't talked to her about this in five years and while he guessed she would be uncertain at the start, he _knew_ she would be spitting mad by the end of it.

"I don't know if you realize, but last week... was an anniversary of sorts."

Mac looked at him uncomprehendingly, so he continued.

"Five years ago..."

Realization dawned in Mac's eyes as anger drained out of her "We're already there? I... I knew it was this year, but..."

"Yeah. It's been five years since we made the deal to have a baby together... if neither of us is in a relationship. You're with Webb and..."

He paused there, knowing he couldn't so cowardly use the excuse of Mac herself nullifying the deal by being with Spook of the Year, nor did he want to give her the false impression they were still on, still dancing to the never ending song when it was completely, finally over between them, so he changed tracks.

"Look, what I wanted to say is that I'm sorry, but I'm calling it off. Permanently."

Mac looked shocked and hurt.

"You're telling me you're pulling out?"

"Yes."

"You're just giving up?" Mac repeated miffed, still not willing to believe she was hearing right.

"I'm not giving up because there's nothing to give up on." Harm corrected mildly, no bite in his tone "It's taken me a while, but during the last several years I've realized that anything more than what we are right now, coworkers and acquaintances, isn't what we were ever meant to be. I also realized that I never should've made that proposition in the first place, it was inappropriate and with the long-term timeline it was pretty unrealistic. That's why I'm sorry for putting you in such a position by proposing something like this that never should've been proposed and for making a promise I could never keep."

There was only one explanation Mac could come up with for this, to her sudden, change of heart and she latched onto it, glaring at the man hatefully "There's some other woman, isn't there? You've found someone else and lost interest in me."

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This reminded him eerily of the talk they'd had such a short time ago on the carrier which ended with Mac accusing him of throwing her into Webb's arms. She'd accused him of losing interest in her back then as well, reminding him all too much of the fact that Mac was incredibly insecure and one of the reasons she played with guys' heads was to constantly receive reassurances she was still desirable, to stroke her ego.

To her one of the worst scenarios was aging and losing her sexual appeal and looks, because deep down she knew that was all she could credit herself for as a person, the only thing she had achieved and the only thing she had going for her. She relied on her body and not her personality to catch guys and when she lost the former she would end up alone because no man would want her for her own version of the latter.

Even if deep down in her subconscious, Mac on some level nonetheless knew she'd lost her path and become someone undesirable. The problem was that her conscious self still had no knowledge of that or denied it and as long as it hid from that truth she would never be able to step on the path of healing.

However, the question arose in Harm: had Mac _ever _in her adult life been something she could aspire to now?

She'd become an alcoholic in her youth, got involved in crime, then after her hubby was sent to prison and she joined the Corps she'd still continued her practice from her alcoholic youth and slept around, later with her CO, then lied to her friends about essential things about her for years, had her own spin on the events in real life that always put her in a better light than she actually was and always in a light better than others, pitted men against each other to make them jealous and be the center of attention and the list went on and on and it was vastly indistinguished.

He knew he was far from an angel himself, but contrary to Mac HE had never thought himself perfect and above reproach. He was all too aware of his big mouth and it's tendency to run off on his brain, saying things he knew should not be said. He also had his moments of egotism, rare as they were and his sometimes autocratic rule at home, a consequence of being used to always have his way at home since he had always lived alone and had never had to consider anyone else in his decisions and of his rise up the ranks, getting less and less ordered around and becoming more and more the one _giving_ the orders. Further, Mac had accused him of being a prude, but since Mac had a pretty loose view on sex and relationships, he didn't give that accusation much power.

Another flaw was that he'd pined for the wrong woman too long, that he'd refused to acknowledge the truth sitting right in front of his nose for so long, until it was almost too late, that he'd been too stubborn and target-fixated to concede he'd wasted 7 years on something and someone that would never pan out. Something like that wasn't a special kind of stubborn, it was a special kind of _stupid._ Thank god for Jen and William coming along cause he might've wasted another couple of years on a woman he'd no longer loved or even liked and ending up with probably idiotically entering a marriage with her to try to save something that'd been dead for years, a marriage that was sentenced to failure even before it started, because in a year they would inevitably be separated when he was either promoted and given his own command or retired. It was no doubt in his mind that had he and Mac ever gotten married, it would've been a disaster and he could only thank Jen's love for him and the booze he'd forced down his throat that such a fate had been averted.

He had also been accused of being commitment-phobic, but unlike a certain woman he knew, he'd never given his partners any promises he'd never meant to keep, like accepting proposals, or strung them along for months in the hopes of giving false promises, like taking a year to accept a proposal while trying to goad another person to make a play for him, or given them false hopes eventually perhaps giving them a promise for the future, as each of the women he'd dated had known exactly where they stood.

And with the few women he'd actually been serious about, had started thinking of a life in the future, it had ended up with _them_ dumping _him_. The reason for them dumping him had always been the same reason, the something that was the integral part of him: the Navy and flying, next to other small excuses. It never failed to make him wonder why they'd taken up with him in the first place since they'd known the score ahead of time, he'd never projected a false image of himself and had always made it clear who exactly he was.

Was it out of that too-frequent-yet-thankfully-not-omnipresent misguided female urge and desire to change and/or retrain the man, no matter the trauma and damage to the targeted personality it incurs along the way? Had they really expected of him to give up Navy and flying for them, something he'd been working to and wishing ever since he could remember? Had they really expected of him to give up the last two ties to his father? If they had really expected and demanded of him such sacrifices, had they actually been worthy of him?

Yet, with so many things going against him, he'd made some spectacular progress in the last few years. He'd gotten over his fear of saying "I love you", he'd started a family, even if by taking custody of an already-grown kid, since there'd been no women willing to provide him with a family of his own making, until Jen, they'd all run in the other direction. He'd settled down, something he'd been wanting for so long, but until now there had never been the right circumstances; he'd gotten married, was saying "I love you" with no problem on a daily basis...

With all the things working against him and all his flaws, at least _he_ was working on himself and trying to become a better person. Unlike someone else he could mention, but wouldn't.

But when he noticed the demanding stare he knew he'd been swimming in his thoughts for way too long and needed to return to the here-and-now.

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"That's not true and you know it." he remarked evenly "All I'm doing is accepting our limitations, something you wanted me to do last year when you said we would never work out. It took me a while to get past the hurt and to realize you were right. Yes, I admit it, you were right about something."

A bone-chilling revelation dawned on Mac. She was losing him, she was actually losing him. She'd always relied on Harm to be her safety net whenever she got involved with some man, a handy excuse to pull out of a relationship or keep the man at a distance she wanted him, like she'd done with Mic and Clay whenever she'd dropped Harm's name in a conversation. It was one of the tools Mac used for serving her already discussed commitment-phobia.

"Harm..." she tried to intercede, but Harm ignored her interruptions, knowing he had to say this.

"We haven't gotten along for a long time now, make that, we never got along for any extended period of time, our relationship has always been volatile and unstable and that is NOT something a child should ever be brought into. I'm moving on, Mac, I hope you will too."

"I don't have any say in this?" Mac's feelings warred between resignation and indignation as realization of just how serious Harm was, struck in.

"No, Mac, you don't."

Resignation won out and Mac deflated with it. She knew the rules of relationships all too well, having exploited them herself many times: when one partner wants out, that's it. They can try to salvage a relationship, but that almost never works in the long run, only makes things even more miserable. Usually with disastrous consequences because the usual way of trying to save a dying relationship/marriage is by having kids or getting married. But when it comes to a relationship that never was, then the other partner definitely has no say; she would just have to come to terms with it and find a way to get on with life without having him as her safety net. What ever move she made from now on in regards to men, she would no longer be able to shove the blame for it's failure onto Harm or use him to hamper the natural progression of a relationship, for the first time in her life she would have to take responsibility of her actions and words and live with the consequences, whether she liked them or not. It would take some getting used to.

Knowing the kind of bomb he'd just dropped on her Harm's gaze turned compassionate, but in an all too apparent demonstration of the new state of affairs he refused to make physical contact, even if it was just a hand on her forearm. That was no longer a part of who they were.

"I hope you'll get what you want in life, whether it's from Webb or someone else, you just won't get it from me."

Mac looked away, dropping her own bomb in a low whisper "Clay's dead."

Harm's eyes snapped to look at her, disbelief in his voice "Are you absolutely sure?"

Mac nodded, strangely apathetic when talking about the death of her lover of one year "He drowned a couple of weeks ago on a mission soon after you started your leave. His mother went to Tripler and identified his body. The funeral was two days later."

Harm thought about that and the timing didn't sit right with him. Especially how fast the funeral took place. Then there was the matter of history Webb had with death. Or, in other words, feigning death.

"He faked his own death before..." he pointed out.

"Maybe." Mac said, then winced as sharp pain pierced through her abdomen.

Harm noticed that, becoming worried "You okay?"

Before Mac could say anything, the door opened and Jen appeared, looking left and right, her eyes finally finding them.

"Commander. LtCol." she nodded, her senses reaching out trying to find any tension that would tell her she'd interrupted them before Harm could tell Mac they were over. But there was none and Jen's tense shoulders relaxed in the knowledge there was one less obstacle.

"Coates." Harm nodded, not daring to even smile at her in Mac's presence.

"The Admiral's disappeared, sir. His car is gone too."

Mac stood to go inside and see for herself, but realized Harm had remained sitting and looked at him confused. Harm took a couple of seconds to process the information then shook his head, chuckling, bringing the attention of the two women to himself.

"Something amusing?" Mac asked archly.

"Yeah." he grinned, still amused "Chegwidden chose the most melodramatic exit possible. Disappearing without a word to anyone. Never thought the old man had it in him... a true drama queen, that's what he is."

Mac scowled at Harm's apparent disrespect towards their CO while Jen's eyes widened, her concern over the Admiral's disappearance having made her think of only the worst-case scenarios, completely forgetting it could've been something as innocent as this.

Relaxing, she smiled genuinely this time.

"I guess this means that the party is over then."

Harm nodded in agreement "Yeah, I'd say so."

"In that case I'll say my goodbyes." Mac said, standing, to her credit remarkably civil now that she'd realized the battle was lost and she had nothing to fight for anymore "Harm. Coates."

Harm noticed with gratitude her demeanor toward Jen wasn't as icy as before. It was nowhere near friendly or warm, but at least she was civil and he would take what he could get. It gave him great hopes for the time he and Jen would feel comfortable enough in announcing their news. Or maybe he was just an utopist, maybe Mac would go with her first assumption and believe he'd broken up with her because he'd lost interest in her and found another woman and not because of the things about them and their relationship he'd stated as his reasons.

"I'm glad we had this talk, Mac. See you in a couple of weeks."

Mac nodded and disappeared through the door. Jen's brown eyes turned from where the taller woman had disappeared to her husband who'd stood up and approached her until he was just a foot away. Gentle hands on her slim waist guided her 6 feet backwards until they were out of anyone's sight, hidden by the brick wall of the building. As she slowly walked in reverse, sparks were shooting up and down Jen's spine from where he was touching her and she couldn't tear her eyes away from his even if threatened with death.

"How soon can we go? It's just about Will's feeding time." her voice cracked, but she was proud she had even managed to ask it with how aroused she was.

Harm grimaced, angry at himself for not watching the time. For Jen to bring it up, considering she'd left a bottle for their son, she had to be hurting.

"Sorry, Jen, forgot the time. How are they?" he tilted his chin at her chest, that was nowadays much more generous and full than it had ever been during the years he'd known her. The blouse that had always been loose on her was now tight over her breasts, almost squashing them yet emphasising their fullness, the unyiedly fabric stretched between her large mounds and then between them and her back in a way that almost made the fabric look like it had ribs.

"Looks like you're gonna need to get some new blouses before you go back to work, otherwise I'll be defending you from charges of indecency." he continued, grinning slightly as he waggled his eyebrows naughtily. Jen narrowed her eyes playfully at him.

"Leaking already." she answered his original question, ignoring his gentle flirting masquerading as taunts, and hurried to explain when his gaze once again sank southward, brow furrowing in confusion when it encountered dry cloth "Thank god I thought of stuffing some cotton wool pads into my bra before we left home otherwise it would've been pretty embarrassing by now. As it is, I had to visit the ladies room and change the pads once already and the new ones are wet by now too. The soaked wool is unpleasant, sticking to... er, you know what." she trailed off, blushing heavily as her mind caught up with her mouth.

Harm nodded, his eyes darkening as the talk of Jen's better physical attributes delved into his memory banks and retrieved a mental picture of how they'd looked bare that one time he'd accidentally caught a glimpse of them. Just that one look had fueled his erotic dreams for a week and he still wasn't sure whether that was because of Jen's enormous sexual appeal or because of the drought he was suffering, exacerbated by living so closely with such a sexy woman.

"We can leave right away, I just have to grab my cover."

Jen nodded and preceded him back through the hall, saying her farewells, and out the exit, waiting for him in the parking lot to avoid further suspision. Harm collected his missing piece of uniform and joined his wife, the two spouses soon making their way to their car, careful to maintain the distance and image of mere coworkers.

Dark eyes looked after the tall man from the safety of shadows, the owner giving him one last longing look before closing that chapter forever.

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**Reviews are love.**


	31. Chapter 31

After the stormy weather of the Dining Out, we're now back in calm seas. Or maybe it's just the eye of the storm? :D

**Huge thanks to Vesja, Saissa, jojobevco, Lynnp, **B**yrhthelm (:P), robertwnielsen, jpstar57, Sarai, Michi uk, fart fart, carolfd and unwittysidekick **(where's the update of King's Horses? :)).

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"Jen?" Harm called out softly as he came into their bedroom later that night, his eyes falling on the woman of his heart standing by the bassinet, her arms wrapped around her voluptous body as she stared down at the sleeping baby.

"Hey." he whispered softly as he came up behind her, slipped his arms around her slim waist and pulled her back to envelop her with his body.

With a gentle sigh Jen took the comfort and physical support he offered, whispering "I know he's been cranky the past week and I really shouldn't risk waking him up, but..."

"Shhh, it's okay, baby." Harm murmured, kissing the top of her head "I know it's been a rough couple of days."

Feeling something against the small of her back, Jen flushed, stuttering as shivers of anticipation and pleasure rushed up and down her spine "Harm..."

"Sorry." he mumbled, embarrassed, and pulled his lower body away from her.

"It's okay." she sighed, secretly disappointed he'd removed the evidence of his desire for her. It truly flattered her he found her so desirable that he couldn't hide it.

"It's just that loving you and being so close to you 24/7 is wreaking havoc with my system." Harm felt it necessary to explain, even though he was mortified.

"Not to mention the fact that it's been a while, nothing since the night we created this wonderful little bundle of poop and with all the close contact and the tantalizing glimpses over the last couple of weeks..." he murmured sotfly until Jen interrupted him, turning in his arms to face him.

Her small hands drew upwards until they cupped his cheeks, directing him to look into her eyes.

"My offer still stands, love..." Jen blushed at how easily the endearment had slipped out, the first time she'd used it, but forged ahead nonetheless "I'd love to take care of you that way. It wouldn't be a chore to me, but something I'd love to do because: I. Love. You."

She emphasised each of the three words with quick kisses, then gazed soulfully up at him "You don't have to wait for me to be healed. I'm flattered, but it still isn't necessary."

"I know, honey, and otherwise I'd love it if you'd do that, but I _want _ to wait until you're ready. I want to be inside you when I... er..." Harm blushed, stopping just in time when he realized just where his overactive mind was leading him. Even though he was a Navy man he went to great pains to avoid the gutter talk, so he switched tracks "The first time we'll both remember clearly I want us both to enjoy and participate. We'll try everything else later. After all, we have decades of time to try out everything we'll like."

Listening to her husband, Jen's heart swelled so much it felt like it would burst and she couldn't contain her tears anymore, whispering in a thick voice "Oh, Harm."

Something occurred to him then, to Jen's disappointment pulling back when they were just about to kiss "What will we do about birth control? It may be jumping the gun for a few weeks, but it's better we decide now than lose time when we could be enjoying ourselves..."

Gathering her composure, Jen worried her lower lip.

"I'm not going back on the pill as long as I'm breast-feeding. I don't want to risk any of those hormones getting into my milk for Will to then drink. Estrogen and in such quantities would doubtlessly be a bad thing."

Harm nodded, agreeing, but they still hadn't decided what to do.

"Should I get some condoms so we won't be adding to the family right away, then?"

Jen shrugged, keeping her expression blank, though the idea of something preventing her from feeling him like it was supposed to be, didn't sit right with her "It's your choice, but as long as I breastfeed we're safe."

"Are you sure?" Harm squinted at her "How do you know this?"

"Wikipedia." Jen said, barely keeping a straight face.

When Harm's eyes widened and his mouth fell open in shock, she could keep her facade no longer and started giggling hysterically, trying to keep quiet.

"I'm just joking, Harm. It's a well-known fact, practiced by women for thousands of years."

"Oh." he exhaled relieved, playfully glaring at Jen for pulling his leg.

Even with how careful they were being the noise still stirred their son, who let out a small whimper before falling back asleep.

Stepping back from his wife and soon-to-be-again-lover, Harm guided her out of the room with a hand on the small of her back, checking to see the monitor was on before he closed the door behind them.

"Something else is bothering you, though." Harm observed as he led her to the couch where he sat down across from her so he could see her eyes and hold her hands in support during what was obviously going to be a difficult talk for her.

Jen nodded, dark eyes lowering, unsure how to say what she'd been thinking over for the last week. In the end she decided to just come out with it.

"I... I don't think I'm ready to go back to work, Harm." Jen finally started hesitantly, feeling a weight lifted off her heart when Harm just continued looking at her assuringly, listening carefully "I know I should be, considering for how many millions of women is 6 weeks enough to be ready to go back to work, but I... I don't think I'm ready to leave him so soon."

"What do you want to do?" he whispered, lifting his hand to tenderly caress a bronzed cheek.

Dark eyes softened, love shining in them "I can't give up my job completely..."

"And I don't want you to." Harm interrupted, smiling and gently squeezing her hand "I know how much you love working at JAG and I know you'd be miserable and bored being a stay-at-home mom."

_And I love you too much to want you to be unhappy and with how many women end up divorcing their husbands because they were bored being cooped up at home all day I certainly don't want us to become just another statistic. I know we love each other and that our marriage is strong, but that's no guarantee. To keep it that way you have to work on your relationship, adapt to new situations, work towards both being happy and compromise to achieve that._

Gratitude for his understanding overwhelmed Jen and she fell into him, locking their lips together so passionately that buttons were being unbuttoned before they knew what was happening.

Chuckling at the adorable way Jen was blushing Harm did his shirt back up, watching as she adjusted the blouse she wore at home to make it easier to nurse Will.

"So, what were you saying before you assaulted me?" Harm prodded Jen back on track, a cheeky grin on his lips, his amusement deeping as Jen blushed at his words.

"Um..." Jen collected her thoughts, then decided to just blurt it out "I want to go into Inactive Reserves for 6 or 8 months."

"Okay." Harm nodded, kissing her again.

"Really? Just like that?"

"Of course." Harm shrugged "I know you, so I can confidently claim you gave it a lot of thought before you decided to share it with me, so I know you're absolutely sure about this decision."

"There's just one fly in the ointment." sighed Jen.

"Which is?"

"What will we do about money? If I do this then we'll lose a paycheck and I absolutely hate the thought of being a burden for you. You'll be supporting practically three adults and a baby by yourself."

Harm looked thoughtful, but no less reassuring "True, with a baby to take care of and with almost three adults we'll have to be more careful about how we'll spend money for the first couple of months until we figure out how things go there in Maryland, but even on just my paycheck we'll make it through okay. Besides, I think we recently just solved most of our money problems."

"In what way?" Jen asked confused.

"The farm... we'll have the chance to grow our own food and what little we'll buy will be less expensive on the local market and definitely a lot healthier than anything we'd ever be able to buy in the city. Something I KNOW you and Mattie have already talked about, because I overheard you discussing where to put the garden." Harm smiled knowingly.

Jen nodded in a agreement, a small smile finally finding it's way to her lips and eyes "Yes, we did. We already have a rough plan of where and when and how. The only thing left is to finally finish the move so that we'll have the time."

Harm nodded, a proud look on his face at the two most important women in his life "I also had the well cleaned out and the water was checked and okayed as safe and clean. Besides that, by going from two apartments to an owned house in the country that we didn't have to pay for, all of our expenses for food, waste/trash, electricity, water, etc. will drop significantly. We also won't have to pay rent for one apartment anymore, so that's another major drop in expenses. We'll be a lot more independent than we would ever be in the city, saving us a lot of money and enabling us to live a more comfortable life. But even if that wasn't the case, I'd still support you in you joining the Reserves. All I want is for you to be happy. As long as you're happy, I'm happy."

Against her own will a torrent of tears broke free and streamed down her cheeks as she sobbed and threw herself into his arms "What did I do to deserve you? You're such an amazing, understanding husband."

"No, I'm not." Harm contradicted "I can be oblivious, pig-headed, egotistic and sometimes even autocratic, but I love you and just want you happy. As to what you did to deserve me? I think it should be the other way around... you're such a loving, giving person, Jen, an amazing mother and a wonderful wife. You deserve only the best, way better than me. But I'll stop there before your head swells."

His eyes twinkled mischeviously as his voice trailed off, his words causing Jen to pinch him playfully.

"Besides, this way I won't need to face the Admiral alone on Monday when I go to change our Pages 2. We'll be able to accomplish both for the price of only one yelling session..."

Jen giggled, shaking her head "If he could hear you now... We'd go deaf."

Harm nodded agreeing, then pulled her up and in the direction of the bedroom, turning off lights as they went "Lets go to sleep now, my love, we've got a LOOOOOONG day ahead of us."

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**Reviews are love.**


	32. Chapter 32

I'm back from over-the-weekend vacation by the sea, barely escaped some heavy rain while on the bike, arrived home only minutes before the sky opened.

Had a lovely weather and time, except for the part where I had a more-intimate-than-I-liked-it meeting with an underwater rock (am counting myself extremely lucky I got off with just scratches, my spine from brain to shoulders hurt for the entire day after that) and the last day when the water was plain disgusting in some new little bay (mostly thanks to those 30+ yachts of people who think yachting is going a mile out of the marina, park the thing in some tiny bay to show off to the lowly plebeians that have to bake themselves on the beach instead of on a yacht, and then in the evening raise anchor and sail that one mile back into the marina again - - and who threw their trash off their boats and probably emptied their septic tanks too, grrrr).

And of course, the idiotic cager who nearly took me out because he was not paying attention to the road - we were in traffic, in front of me a bus and behind me the stupid cager, and when we slowed down for some reason the guy behind me wasn't paying attention and saw we've slowed down only the last second. Amidst the squealing of tires and dancing all over the road from the force of braking he managed to stop less than a meter from my bike's rear tire. Had my heart in my throat for another 15 minutes at what a close call it was and the first chance I had I pulled up to the side of the road and waved the moron on to pass me by, then continued on my way with no-one behind me. Some people should never be allowed to drive.

Anyway...

Wow, now THIS is what I call a lovely welcome home present... so many lovely reviews. Thanks guys! :)

Will reply to reviews as soon as I recover enough energy, 200 km in a full tuck behind the windshield of a sportbike on the Autobahn (because of heavy winds) and the heat tired me. I'm updating this now only because I promised, otherwise I would do it tomorrow.

**Kirsty:** unfortunately there's no way to privately contact you, but on the other hand it's better to clear this up for everyone.

**Natural Family Planning: Breastfeeding as a Contraceptive**

www .womens-health. co. uk

"Breastfeeding can be used as quite a reliable contraceptive, under certain circumstances. Known as the lactational amenorrhea method (LAM), many women opt to use this technique as their main form of birth control after giving birth.

**Is LAM Effective?**

Many studies have demonstrated that LAM is about 98% effective in the first six months, as long as the following criteria are met:

- The mother is fully or almost fully breastfeeding both day and night with no long intervals between feeds

- No periods have recommenced

- Baby is not receiving any other type of supplement feeds

**The following evidence is noted in making this statement:**

There was a Bellagio Consensus statement by a group of international lactation experts who reviewed the literature & confirmed breastfeeding to have less than 2% chance of pregnancy in the first 6 months (Consensus statement on the use of breastfeeding as a family planning method. Contraception 1989;39:477-96).

Similar guidelines were also published by Labbock et al 1990 from the US Institute for Studies in Natural Family Planning, encorporating the same criteria.

For some recent data, Perez et al publised data on 422 women (Lancet* 1992;339;968-70) using this method, only one of whom fell pregnant (99.5% success rate)"

From this article it's plainly seen breastfeeding is as safe and sometimes even safer than birth control pill. It's been used for centuries and women have been able to push back the next pregnancy by up to two years by breastfeeding regularly. It's not perfect, but neither is the pill, and some women still fall pregnant (the first 6 months after delivery are the most fertile months), and many women still get pregnant with the pill everyday.

**Huge thanks to byrhthelm, jpstar57, robertwnielsen, Saissa, Vesja, Captain J 737, carolfd, Kirsty, mr mark gibbs 1989, fart fart, Lynnp, marye904, Michi uk and dizzzlizzz.**

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"The truck is packed, the Indian and the rest of the stuff is loaded, and the movers are already on the way to Maryland." Harm announced walking into what had been his home for so long, but was now only a collection of barren walls. Home was where the heart was and for Harm home was mobile and in the form of three people.

Making his way to the door of his old bedroom he finished his report with a significantly lowered voice "Your car is at the farm and the Lexus and the 'Vette are waiting for us to drive them home."

Jen was standing silently in the middle of the empty room, looking around deep in thought, a drooling William hanging limply in the chest carrier as he slept. The little boy had exhausted himself with all the participating he'd done in packing up and had crashed an hour earlier. Though the young mother could feel in her breasts he'd be waking up soon. She hadn't discovered yet who had whom on remote control, whether she Will, or Will her. Either way, she knew with absolute certainty that Will would be waking up and demanding to be fed right before her front could start a twin imitation of the Old Faithful.

Drawing up behind them, Harm whispered as he tried to steal his son from Jen "How's the little poop factory?"

"Shh, he's sleeping." Jen shushed him down, then evaded his grabby hands "No, don't! You'll wake him up!"

Harm faked an annoyed grumble then decided if he couldn't have just his son in his arms, then he's just take it all and stole up behind Jen, drawing her into his body.

"You okay?"

"Yeah. You didn't lie yesterday when you said it would be a long day." she sighed, emotionally exhausted.

"And it's not over yet. But just consider one thing: when we go to bed tonight, it's gonna be in our own house and the only noise you're gonna hear outside will be the wind in the trees, birds singing, crickets, frogs in the nearby pond... No honking, no cars driving by right under your window, no music or yelling from another apartment, no annoying public lighting coming through your window and preventing you from falling asleep, no people talking on the street... And that's not gonna be just during the night, but all through the day too. Only peace. Peace and tranquility."

"Sounds like a fairy tale." Jen sighed dreamily "You know I grew up in a house, but it was a small one, with barely any front-yard, much less a property large enough to give your privacy, and that part of Hagerstown is so densely populated and there's so much traffic it was like living in an apartment. I never knew peace and quiet like that, it's gonna take some getting used to."

"And you'll start getting used to it today already." Harm smiled tenderly and gently tightened his arms around his beloved Jen, before being interrupted.

Mattie bounded in through the door, her eyes narrowing in annoyance as she exclaimed "What are you two still doing here? Lets go, lets go!"

"Okay, we're coming." Harm placated, chuckling, and placed a kiss on Jen's neck, eliciting a giggle as he hit a ticklish spot.

The action caused Mattie to roll her eyes in disgust and mutter "Gross!" as she turned and quickly left the room. As happy as she was for her best friend and her guardian, she didn't really find any enjoyment in watching the two of them make out or behave in any other affectionate way. There was just something wrong about that.

"It's a good thing her room is on the other side of the house." Harm grinned rakishly at Jen, enjoying the blush that stole up her neck and spread up her cheeks.

Jen retaliated with a gentle nudge in his ribs, making him grunt and let go of her, then shashayed out of the apartment, swaying her hips seductively. Harm, his eyes riveted to his wife's rounded but tight buttocks, looked up only when he heard her amused voice demanding "Coming?"

"Would love to, but not for another couple of weeks." he muttered, but joined her nonetheless. Thankfully Jen hadn't heard his lascavious response. Checking the other apartment to make sure they'd really taken everything he pocketed the keys, one set to return to Mattie's apartment owner and his set to give to the realtor who would be handling the sale, then got into his 'Vette and pulled out in traffic after Mattie and Jen in the Lexus.

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It was evening, the movers had moved the furniture into the house and left hours ago. Mattie was playing with Will on the porch as Harm and Jen strolled hand in hand through the tall grass of a field behind the house, walking on clouds, Jen still having trouble believing they would living in this dream place.

While they'd both grown up in houses, they'd spent their entire adult lives in apartments and in the over-crowded city, where you couldn't escape the presence of other human beings. And even those childhood houses had been part of a densely populated community, nothing like this free, open space where the nearest neighbor was several miles away.

For the first time in their lives they felt like they could finally breathe, that they weren't being suffocated with so many other humans living so close by, crowds everywhere they went, as soon as they stepped out of the building. Here they had all the privacy and freedom they could ever want.

"It's so peaceful out here." murmured Jen, sighing softly in bliss as she stopped, taking in the view "I still can't believe you actually forgot about this place."

Even though he knew it wasn't an accusation Harm still cringed. Weeks later, he was still beating himself up over such a huge slip of mind on his part.

_Must be the age catching up with me._

Sending him an amused look, Jen knew exactly what reaction her reminder had produced, and consoled him in a perfect imitation of an old woman "Don't worry, dear, happens to the best of us."

Then she giggled at the horrified look on his face.

"Please, DON'T talk like that." Harm pleaded with a strangled voice, shuddering.

"Okay, okay, don't worry, I won't." Jen laughed and stretched up to place a kiss on his cheek, then cuddled sidways into him, giving a happy sigh.

Taking advantage of the situation, Harm let go of her hand to slip his arm around her shoulders and drew her slim, petite frame against his body as they let their eyes roam over the rich green inclines and valleys that made up the property.

It really was spectacular and Harm could clearly see what had attracted enough to buy this land the first Rabbs that had come all the way across the ocean from their barren old country. And the fact that he was sharing it with the woman he loved, the one woman he knew he could always count on, rely on, know she would never cheat on him or leave him, made him realize he had finally realized his dreams.

It startled him a little, then caused a slow, but eventually large smile to curve his lips. It was true, he was truly living his dream life.

At 40 years of age he finally had everything he'd ever dreamed of. A house, some property around it, big enough and remote enough to make it private, a good job and, more important than the job, the woman who returned his love and had gladly obligated herself to spending the rest of her life with him, and a family they'd created together.

In all the decades of his service he never would've believed it had anyone told him, but it didn't make it any less true, as he acknowledged the amazing fact that still had him reeling: he didn't need the Navy anymore, he had something much better now. Sure, the paycheck was great, especially with his rank and time in the service, plus all the other benefits, and the work did challenge him, BUT if he hit hit 20 right that second and was told he wasn't getting promoted and would have to retire, he wouldn't have minded much.

Sure, there would be a piece of him that would miss the Navy and his job, especially the flying and the mental stimulation of investigations and fighting his cases in front of a judge and jury, but everything he'd have left would've more than made up for it.

He'd have Jen and, with her recent decision, he would get to spend 24/7 with her, he had Will and Mattie, and he finally had the last thing he'd wished so long for... a house and some land.

He finally had a HOME.

Too bad that...

_Wait a minute!_ Harm froze, his eyes landing on a patch of flat land, going from a large, dilapidated barn _That's where Sarah was hidden and it's STILL flat enough for a runway! Even after all this time..._

A wide smiled settled on his face as he realized he could move Sarah back to her real home, back to where she'd spent so many years, instead of 300 miles away. Even the barn where he'd originally found her in was still standing and with a little remodeling could safely keep the old yellow biplane out of the elements.

Yup, screw the Navy, he had everything he wanted and needed right here.

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	33. Chapter 33

**Huge thanks to robertwnielsen, byrhthelm, zeilfanaat, Saissa, jojobevco, Vesja, Lynnp, Michi uk, fart fart and mr mark gibbs 1989.**

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They were fully aware of the weird and utterly confused look the Corporal at the check-in desk was flashing them, but Harm and Jen ignored it as they completed the procedure and walked towards the bank of elevators in a way that was perfectly according to protocol. It was amazing just how easily they'd slipped back into their professional personas as soon as they'd crossed onto the premises of JAG, even if they weren't wearing their uniforms. Only on the outside, on the inside it was a completely different matter.

Sneaking a quick peek over his shoulder while Jen continued to stare determinedly at the closed steel door, Harm confirmed they were still the target of the guard's flummoxed look. Sighing silently he turned back around and joined Jen in her silent consideration of the silver steel. Thankfully it wasn't long before it opened, accompanied by his silent exhale of relief.

Jen heard her husband's sigh when the elevator doors opened, allowing them entry, and allowed a small smile to quickly flash on her lips before it disappeared.

She hadn't known returning here would be so hard. Not because she didn't like being here, but because of how taxing it was to keep acting as if there was nothing between them. Hiding the person she'd become in the past several weeks had taken a lot out of her and she was glad she'd decided to leave the Navy for a while because she knew it would've been only a matter of time before she slipped and blew the charade before they were ready. At least by the time she came back the situation at JAG would be settled enough for her and Harm to let everyone know.

However, doubts still popped up.

Were they doing the right thing, deciding to keep their secret for so long?

The answer was easy: yes, they were.

Even though she knew the feeling of betrayal their friends would be struck with when they found out she and Harm had kept the truth of their real relationship from them for so long would be immense, she also knew that in the current state of affairs coming out was the worst possible idea. The office had just lost it's CO and was in the chaotic time between bosses, about to be temporarily commanded by the man no-one liked. Even though Harm had recounted his talk with Mac, Jen didn't share his optimism. She knew it would take a while, probably months, before the woman gave up on Harm completely and until she did, Mac's propensity for vindictiveness and knowledge just what to do to inflict the most damage made her dangerous. Until Jen returned to work it was better no-one found out.

The elevator ride went quickly, both of them too aware of the security camera in one corner to even dare say anything to each other, followed by a walk through a bullpen, receiving greetings and confused looks as to what she was doing there with the Commander. Thankfully no-one tried to stop them and they were soon standing in the Admiral's ante-room.

Kendra's expression was delighted, but surprised when she caught sight of them. Nonetheless she sent them a beaming smile as they entered her office.

"Commander, Je... Petty Officer." she corrected herself since she was in the presence of an officer, then continued confused "Surprised to see you..."

The word "together" at the end of the sentence went unspoken, but not unheard.

"You both still have two weeks of leave..." she pointed out and again the suspicion at the timing cropped up, but was dutifully repressed by the 21 year old.

Harm spoke up for both of them "I have some admin stuff to go through with the Admiral before he starts his retirement and Coates needed to discuss something with him, so I gave her a lift."

Nodding, Kendra repeated the mantra _It's not my business._

After notifying the Admiral of his visitors she looked up surprised.

"The Admiral says you can both go in."

Thanking her, they entered the large office that now looked almost barren with all the personal effects removed, closing the door behind them.

Coming to attention before the desk they were waved off even before they could follow protocol and announce themselves.

"Sit down." Chegwidden ordered gruffly and they quickly followed his instructions.

"I take it this visit is because of what we discussed Friday evening, Commander?" he peered at Harm over his reading glasses and watched as the other man nodded in agreement.

"Very well. I retrieved your files personally to avoid suspicion by any of the staff. Though considering you're here too, Coates..." he stopped, eyes narrowing in thought before he inquired "Er, or are you going by Rabb now?"

"It's Rabb, sir." Jen confirmed.

"Hm." he grunted, but didn't let on whether it was in approval or admonishment "Mr Rabb, you can go do what you came here to do. I'll be informing CDR Sturgis of the new circumstances after noon. I expect you'll be hearing from him soon after that."

Harm nodded, reluctant to leave Jen's side just when she'd need him, but with having received a direct order he could do nothing but obey and send her a supportive look.

As soon as Harm was out of the room, AJ turned to Jen.

"Anyway, as I was saying, since you're here as well, I gather there's something else you want to discuss..."

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"How did your talk with CDR Turner go?" Jen asked that evening as she walked into their bedroom, buttoning up her sleeping gown from having just fed William, before tiredly, but eagerly, climbed into the bed to claim her spot on Harm's chest with a content sigh.

"Hm?" Harm murmured deep in thought as he was looking through some numbers, before focusing fully on Jen and putting his papers away "Oh. It didn't really go as I'd hoped."

Jen had been well on the way to drifting off, the eventful day having taken it's toll on her, when Harm's words penetrated through the fog. She was immediately awake and staring up at him slightly anxious.

"Why not? What was wrong?"

Harm shrugged, thoughtfully rubbing his lower lip with his palm as he tried to articulate his impression from earlier that day.

"I knew he would be surprised, but I guess I didn't expect so much disapproval from him. For some reason I got this feeling that if Chegwidden wasn't in on everything, that Sturgis would've been asking to be the prosecutor _and_ the executioner." Harm snorted at himself, unable to believe he'd really thought something so insulting of his old friend.

To his surprise though Jen didn't share his self-recriminating feelings, in fact, she looked like she thought there was merit to his spoken observations.

"What do you know?" he asked at length.

Jen shrugged "Nothing concrete, just my observations."

Harm's raised eyebrow prompted her to continue.

"CDR Turner... changed in the last year, after you left JAG. He became colder, harsher and more closed off. Almost to the point of being unfriendly. He clashed with other officers repeatedly, even with LT Robers."

Harm nodded, he knew of the event in question.

"The charge of racism only exacerbated matters. After that it was like he's given up on people and started living only for the regs."

Agreeing, Harm's eyes unfocused as his thoughts returned to his old time friend "Sturgis did have a stick up his six for the entire time I've known him, but now..."

He shrugged "As much as it saddens me to say it, I don't think I can trust him anymore. I don't think he can be objective anymore."

Jen suppressed a yawn as she continued his line of thought "He's become so dedicated to the regs he can't see the forest for the trees?"

"Yeah. He puts the rules above the people, but without the people there can be no rules. People should be more important that regs, not the other way around."

Sighing, Jen's mind went over to a more pressing and daunting matter "Hopefully things tomorrow will go better."

"Yeah." Harm nodded.

Jen frowned at the uncertainty in her love's voice "Harm, honey, everything will turn out okay, you'll see."

Harm still looked doubtful "It didn't the last time..."

"You were by yourself then, living in an apartment only big enough for one person. But we're together now, we're married and we're living in a big house, with lots of space around us and in a safe neighborhood." Jen murmured with a soothing voice, rubbing her small hand over his chest soothingly. It took a while before his face cleared.

"You're right." Harm nodded at last, convinced, and gave her a brief kiss before getting comfortable to go to sleep.

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"Looks like you've made a lot of changes in your life since your last appearance in this court-room, Mr Johnson." the Judge skewered the man over her reading glasses "I see you're gainfully employed?"

"Yes, your honor." Johnson rose respectfully "I have a job as an aircraft mechanic at Mitchell Cropdusting Service and am working on getting my pilot's license back to look for employment in that capacity too. I have my own apartment near the airfield, a car and my paycheck is big enough to support myself and Mattie if she returns to me."

The judge nodded "I see here you've been confirmed sober since this January?"

"Yes, your honor. I've been a member of the local AA since last November. This is Mr Bellows, my sponsor, who's kindly agreed to come with me to this hearing."

The man sitting next to him rose "Your honor, my name is Alexander Bellows and I'm Mr Johnson's sponsor. Mr Johnson has been a model example and is progressing quickly and steadily in his recovery I'm quite satisfied to say."

"Thank you, Mr Bellows." then she turned back to Mattie's father "Mr Johnson, I ask you this: do you believe yourself capable of taking custody of and parenting your daughter after you've been out of her life for over a year?"

Johnson's face saddened, but lost nothing of his determination "Your honor, abandoning Mattie is the greatest regret and mistake of my life, seconded only by my regret over allowing Mary's death to destroy me, which led me to destroying what was left of our family. I can never undo what I've done, but I _can _try to make up for it and be what I was meant to be to Mattie. I love my daughter and want to be the best father I can, if only I will be given a chance."

Harm and Jen's eyes met, neither hiding the anxiety they were feeling. While the judge had praised them on better living arrangement what with moving into the house, she obviously hadn't believed their cover-story on their marriage. The fact that Harm hadn't been married when he'd last petitioned for Mattie's custody and he'd been petitioning alone, without his wife, made her suspicious.

After a twenty minute recess for the judge to consider everything and make her decision they were again sitting together in the front left row, waiting for the decision. But it wasn't one they'd hoped to hear.

"No!" yelled Mattie, shooting up to her feet "This is stupid! I won't go back to him!"

The court-room was taken over by noise at Mattie's angry retort, Johnson's face showing true pain, while Harm and Jen tried to calm down the young girl before it was taken out of their hands by the supreme authority.

"Order in the court-room!" the judge yelled, banging her gavel "Miss Grace, please get yourself under control. Believe it or not, but I made my decision with your best interest in mind. Your father still has a ways to go, but he _is_ your father and wants to take care of you again. He's also capable of being your parent again."

"But he murdered my mother!" Mattie yelled defiantly, but was persuaded to sit back down by Harm and Jen who were all too aware just who close she was to being threatened with a contempt of court charge.

Johnson flinched as if someone had struck him, while the rest of the present were shocked by the betrayal and anger in Mattie's voice.

Harm deflated. _Even though she's been spending more time with him, there are still obviously some issues that weren't dealt with yet._

The judge didn't look shaken, though, as she calmly stared back at the teenager "Are you sure?"

"He admitted it and the police said so."

"Ah, yes." nodded the judge as she considered Mattie's argument, pulling on old file from her briefcase "I've taken an interest in your case since your last appearance and had the reports on the accident pulled. One of the officers called to the scene made a comment, that was later confirmed by the paramedic who treated Mrs Grace-Johnson."

The judge sighed heavily as she again removed her glasses, rubbing the bridge of her nose.

"According to the evidence and expert opinion, there was no way that Mr Johnson was driving at the time of the accident."

Gasps were heard through the court-room. Harm and Jen look at Mattie with worry, as the young girl went completely white.

"Tell me, Mr Johnson, why did you lie to the police and say you were driving?" she speared the man with her glare.

"Your honor..."

"Mr Johnson, please consider yourself under oath and answer truthfully. Were you or were you not the one driving at the time of the accident?"

Johnson slumped in his seat, whispering defeatedly "No, your honor."

"Can you please repeat that louder, Mr Johnson?"

"No, your honor, I wasn't driving at the time of the accident."

"Then who was?"

"Mary... I mean, my wife, was driving."

"Why did you lie? Why did you claim you were the driver?"

Eyes, red with anguish stared up at the woman as he answered with a hoarse voice, on the edge of crying "Because I didn't want Mattie to know."

"What didn't you want your daughter to know?" the judge asked gently "I know this is hard for you to talk about, Mr Johnson, but I think it's time for the truth to come out. It can only make things better."

Johnson sniffed, wiping the tears from his cheeks as he sighed and began talking "Mattie adored her mother and I didn't want her to think less of her. Mary was having problems with drinking for two years before that night, but we managed to keep it hidden. On the night it happened we were visiting some friends and family, but Mary was drinking more than usual. We had a fight because I tried to get her to stop or even slow down, but she got angry, took away my keys and took off with the car. I had the friend drive me after her, but we were too late. I tried to revive her, but it was of no use. When the police arrived I knew what I had to say, but in hindsight I realize it was the worst decision I could've made. It didn't bring Mary back and it destroyed what was left of our family. Worse, I made my own daughter hate me."

With eyes watery and face haggard, drained, making him look so much older than his years he turned to his daughter, plea for forgiveness in his eyes "I'm sorry for letting Mom die, Mattie. I'm sorry for not stopping her and for failing to stop her drinking. I'm sorry for not being able to revive her and bring her back. I'm sorry for lying. I'm sorry for being a lousy father and failing you. I'm sorry for everything."

Jen could see Mattie's body shaking with the young girl's internal war. Knowing what she had to do, even though it was one of the most difficult things she'd ever done, Jen placed a gentle hand on her former roommate's shoulder and spoke gently "It's okay, Mattie, go to him. He needs you and you need him."

Eyes desperate, Mattie looked up at her "But he... You..."

"Shh." Jen cooed, hugging the girl as she barely kept her own tears at bay "It doesn't matter. He's your father and he loves you. And you still love him. Don't let this become an even bigger a tragedy."

Uncertainly, Mattie's eyes switched to Harm, who swallowed heavily, but still nodded in support of Jen's words "It's okay. Jen's right, he's your father and he wants to be your father again. We'll miss you, but that's where you need to be. You're always welcome to visit."

"You promise?"

"Yeah, I promise."

"I'll keep you to that." Mattie squared her shoulders as she took in a shuddering breath, then rose from the bench.

Her slow, hesitant steps led her towards the man she'd hated for so long, but it wasn't long before she was running. Throwing herself into his arms she burst out crying, joining her father's sniffles as they held on for dear life, finally together mourning their mother and wife and the pain they'd been through, as they were finally back to being a family.

On the other side of the aisle, Jen couldn't keep her own tears in anymore and burrowed into Harm's side as he wrapped his own arms around her in comfort, holding her with a desperate quality, his own throat tight as he fought the tears, thankful his parents were back in town and were looking after Will for the day.

The judge averted her eyes and collected herself with difficulty as she addressed the audience "The police reports collaborate this and that's why Mr Johnson was never charged. Since there are no objections anymore, Mr Johnson is hereby given full custody of his daughter."

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Staring after the old rickety truck as it rumbled down the driveway, raising a cloud of dust in it's wake, Harm stood with his crying wife in his arms and his silent parents at his side, unable to properly breathe from his own pain.

"We knew this day would come eventually, either now or in a few years." Harm whispered softly, as much for Jen's benefit as for his own, but no matter how many time he'd said it, it still hurt.

"She needs to be with her father and he needs her. It's time that they're a family once again."

"I know." Jen croaked hoarsely from his side, emotionally exhausted staring across to Trish in who's arm her awake son was fussing, upset by the negative vibes in the air "I know all that, it's just... it's just hard..."

Harm sighed. He knew there was nothing to say to that, so he didn't. Instead he just pressed his lips to Jen's hair and held her closer.

It would take time, but they'd get past this hurt too.

As long as they were together they could get through anything.

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Author's notes: I wouldn't put my hand into the fire as to which ep it was said that Johnson wasn't driving at the time of the accident, but I do have this memory of it being on the show. If it was just my imagination, then please consider it artistic freedom.

EDIT: thanks to jpstar57 and byrhthelm for the heads-up about the real circumstances of the accident. I'm getting old. :-( Anyway, in light of this new info I decided against rewriting this chapter and will just leave it as it is and claim artistic freedom on this one, even though I'm wincing at framing an innocent party with the accident and with the drinking. IMHO Johnson was a very tragic character and after everything he's been through he deserves a happy ending and the only one I can give him is to put what's left of his family back together. And to answer the immediate question: no, he won't abandon Mattie after she has the plane crash.

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	34. Chapter 34

S'been a while since my last posting of this or any other fic. Istria was gorgeous and warm during the day, but cold in the evening and those weeks went by too fast. There were things that soured the vacation quite a lot, but unfortunately that's the fact of life and we can't prevent them no matter how hard we try.

This chapter isn't that long, certainly not as long as the previous ones, but I'm getting back to writing after a month so please bear with me.

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The large man stared at the intercom in confusion, brow frowning heavily as he studied it. There was a bunch of buttons with names next to the loud-speaker built into the wall, but for some reason he couldn't find the right name.

He looked around. Yep, this was the right building, so which button was the right one? After going through them one more time he shook his head in disbelief and pulled the cell phone from his pocket.

It was hard to believe Harm had moved and not told him. Hell, he couldn't believe Harm had moved at all, the man had loved his apartment to the point it was starting to get creepy.

It took about 10 rings before the other side accepted the call and the familiar voice came down the line.

"Rabb."

Wasting no time Keeter jumped straight at the heart of the matter "Where the hell are you hiding? Or did you go back to the Firm and decided to change your name for security reasons?"

"Keeter?" the surprise was evident in Harm's voice, as well as genuine pleasure "Good to hear you, man, where have you been? Haven't heard from you in ages, was worried you'd bought the farm on some op."

"No, thankfully I haven't gotten my star, thanks for your concern." Keeter chuckled.

"Star? Yeah, right. You'd sooner get a pitch-fork than a star. Besides, you're still Navy - only seconded to the Agency, not a _real _agent." teased Harm.

"I apologise for insulting your pure-blood Agency pedigree by presuming a low-life of a half-breed like me would be honored by getting a star on the wall of fallen agents in the case of his untimely demise." Jack's voice dripped with good-natured sarcasm.

"Apology accepted, but you're on probation for the next 2 years."

Jack chuckled at that.

"Listen, nice to hear your voice and all, but where the hell are you? I'm standing here in front of your building, gawping like a baboon and can't find you on the list!"

"Ah, yeah... about that..." Harm started, haltingly "I moved just recently. Do you have GPS in your car?"

"Nah, when I rented it I didn't think I'd need one... planned on doing some bar-exploring with you from your basecamp."

"Okay...hm..." Harm thought quickly "Listen, do you remember that bar we went to last time?"

"You mean the one with that blonde with legs up to her ears and those lovely big t..."

"Yeah, that one." Harm cut him off hurriedly "I'll meet you there in half an hour, okay?"

"That's almost half-way to your grandmother's house. You're not at work on a Friday night, are you?" Keeter asked suspiciously "'Coz if you are, pal..."

Jack's threat went unfinished as Harm hastened to reassure him "Nah, I'm at home, it'll just take me a while to get there, I live a ways out. Wait for me at the bar, we'll have a beer and then I'll show you where I live now."

"Right." Keeter's voice was suspicious, like he didn't fully believe his friend "I'll wait for you there, then."

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Pressing the disconnect button Harm stared at the phone for a minute, deep in thought.

"Who was that on the phone? JAG?" asked Jen as she entered the room, exhaustion plain in her face. It had been a battle to put the baby down, even though he'd spent the last night awake, crying, but eventually he'd managed to exhaust himself enough to crash.

"Thank god, no. It was an old friend, he's in town for a couple of days."

"Do I know him?"

"Not yet." Harm replied.

While such an answer would've surprised her a couple of months ago, after all there was no reason why an officer would introduce an enlisted to his friends, it didn't even give her a pause now. For a second that made her consider how their lives had changed, but then she shook it off and got back to the conversation.

"He's the oldest friend I have." elaborated Harm "Knew him before I even knew Sturgis, we were even roommates at the Academy and then both went for flight training. Roommies again. He's been working for the Agency on loan from the Navy as a pilot for over 10 years now."

He paused as Jen listened with rapt attention. There was little she didn't know about her husband and she wanted to know everything.

"He always stays with me when he's in town on leave and I haven't seen him in years.."

Jen read his mind "I'll get the guest room ready."

Harm smiled, grateful he wouldn't have to fight to get her to let Keeter stay. He silently acknowledged not many other women would've been that understanding.

"Thanks."

Jen followed him as he walked into their bedroom to change "Just please promise me something."

"What's that?" he asked, pulling his jacket on.

"Just one beer." she asked worriedly, her anxiety in her eyes "I don't need the cops showing at my door to tell me you wrecked or something. I don't want to lose you, especially not so soon."

Harm stopped and turned to look at her, his eyes softening and heart warming when he saw the love and fear in hers "Don't worry, honey, I'll probably won't even finish that one. I just don't want to give Keeter a heart attack by not only explaining to him all that's changed, but also ordering mineral water on top of that. He'll think I've been abducted and replaced by a pod person."

Giggling, she followed him into the foyer and watched as he grabbed the two handheld CB stations and hands-free systems he'd bought for use on the farm from the drawer.

"Safer than cell-phones." he remarked "He's rented a car, so the drive back here will be a long one. Considering he's been here before, he's gonna have some questions that won't be able to wait. True, he probably doesn't remember enough to find his way here on his own, but it'll come back to him as we come closer."

"Just drive carefully, okay?"

Harm hid a smile at how quickly she'd adopted that proverbial wifely concern and tone, instead just took her hand and squeezed gently "Will do. See you soon."

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	35. Chapter 35

"HARM! OVER HERE!"

The bellow made the glass rattle in it's panes and if that wasn't enough to alert Harm to his friend's location, it was the muscular arm waving enthusiastically in the air.

The two men slammed their hands together in a forceful clasp, before embracing in a manly hug with thumps on their backs almost strong enough to break any lesser being's spine.

"You've gotten old." Harm remarked with a barely-straight face as he took a look at his friend.

"And you've gotten fat." Keeter shot back.

"Merely trying to catch up to you."

"Never Number 1, always Number 2, huh?" Jack mocked him.

"That's because I'm not an attention-whore." the smirk was barely held back.

"That's because you're too damn ugly to make it as one."

Harm laughed and again thumped his older friend on the back "Good to see you, Keet, how the hell have you been?"

"Can't complain, buddy, can't complain, but let's get something to wet our dry throats first, don't you think?" with a hand on his best friend's shoulder Keeter shouted "Barkeep, beer for my friend here."

Soon each had a fresh bottle in hand as they made for a table in the back. No need to let other patrons hear any classified stuff...

"We haven't seen each other in years, man, how have you been?" Keeter asked, taking a sip of his beer

Harm watched him with a mischevious tilt to his lips as he moved a little to the left so he wasn't directly in front of him "Married."

He couldn't help chuckling as his best friend sprayed his drink through the nose, coughing. Thumping him on the back, the chuckle turned into a laugh.

"How the hell did you get Mac to marry you?" finally managed to wheeze Keeter "Tie her up and drag her in front of the altar? Have her sign the marriage application without her knowing? Or even fake her signature?"

He suddenly stopped and a truly comical expression took over his face, as he breathed slowly, obviously desperately wishing it wasn't true.

"Wait! You didn't knock her up, did you? She's... What's that phrase? Ah... commitment-phobic."

"It's not Mac, Jack." Harm sighed, putting his bottle down and studying the label as if it held the answer to the meaning of life question.

Jack nodded slowly as he lifted the bottle to his lips again, observing his friend carefully "Not surprised... Hey, wait a minute! You never said you didn't knock the woman up!"

"You should've been a lawyer, Keet." Harm smiled ruefully, tilting his head in acknowledgement of his friend's perceptiveness.

"Harm, Harm, Harm..." Jack shook his head in real disappointment "What did everyone always drill into our heads? Always use condoms, even when the girl says she's on the pill. ESPECIALLY when she says she's on the pill! Otherwise it's better to keep it in the pants. And now you're trapped in a marriage with some woman... You're lucky you didn't catch something on top of that. Or maybe not, that would've gotten you out of this mess at least."

"It's not like that, Keeter." Harm cut him off, nonetheless smiling gratefully at his friend for his concern.

"Then what IS it like?" Keeter asked genuinely interested, if a little disbelieving.

Harm leaned forward, placing his elbows on the table as he enclosed his beer bottle in his hands, rubbing off the condensation "She's someone I know. Someone I've known for years now. It's not what you suspected, thank god, I was lucky."

"How did it happen?"

Harm checked they had privacy "It was after an op for the Firm last year, a Webb Classic."

Keeter winced, he knew all too well how Webb's ops usually went. As south as they could. Embodiment of FUBAR. Eventually a name had established itself for Webb's ops, Webb Classic, much to the agent's consternation.

"I'm surprised they're letting him still live after all the messes he's made." Keeter commented and Harm agreed.

"I went to a bar to get drunk, found her playing pool, we started drinking. The next thing I know I'm waking up alone in my bed, with no memory of getting there and what I thought were dreams. Months later I go back to the Navy, she ends up moving in next door, we see each other all the time, until one day she collapses in the bullpen. I drive her to the hospital, thinking she's dying, where it turns out she's gone into labor."

"You thought she was dying when she was in labor?" Keeter grinned incredulously.

Harm shrugged, embarrassed.

Throwing his head back, Keeter's booming laughter echoed in the bar as the man held his sides. He guffawed so hard Harm was starting to get worried because Keeter's face became red, he was sweating and could hardly breathe. By the time Harm was already standing up to do _something_ to help his friend (who was attracting a lot of attention from other customers), Keeter managed to get himself under control, still occasionally letting out a chuckle.

"She didn't know it either."

That stopped Keeter's joy effectively. His eyes buldged in shock as he looked at his friend as if he'd gone mad.

"What do you mean, she didn't know it either?"

Harm didn't like the way Keeter was looking at him, as if he had a screw loose.

"What I mean is, Jack, she wasn't showing. Look, I know what a woman looks like pregnant and, trust me, she didn't look it. At most she looked like she put on five to ten pounds around the waist, but considering she spends most of her work time behind a desk that wasn't something that would raise red flags, otherwise she looked like she did in all the years I've known her."

Jack's expression was priceless "Don't tell me, man, you've gone into kink and are now after big women?"

Harm frowned at him "In the two and a half years I've known Jen the most she's weighed was 110 pounds soaking wet and fully dressed."

Seeing Jack's cheek twitch Harm chastised, smirking himself "And get your mind out of the gutter, I didn't mean it that way."

"Let's go back a little. You said you saw her every day and that she collapsed in the bullpen?" Keeter remembered Harm's previous remark. Other points of interest had taken priority until now, like how they hadn't known she was pregnant, so he was only now getting to the part he'd been interested in from the start.

Harm nodded.

"Does that mean she works at JAG?"

Harm nodded again, taking a sip of his beer.

"Oh. Shit." Jack whistled, leaning back as he looked at his friend assessingly "You're in trouble, man. Fraternization. Conduct Unbecoming. When the old man finds out he'll have your six on the wall like a hunting trophy."

"She's the Admiral's Yeoman..."

Keeter seemed about to choke on air alone. His eyes nearly fell out of their sockets as his face became the color of a lobster, looking like he was having a stroke and for a second Harm feared he'd gone too far.

"You okay, Jack?"

"YOU KNOCKED UP AND MARRIED AN ENLISTED! EVEN WORSE: THE ADMIRAL'S YEOMAN?" Jack whisper-shouted.

Harm nodded.

"Does he know?"

"Yeah."

"How did he react?"

"He pinned me to the hospital room's wall, threatening to first kick my six and then throw me in Leavenworth." at his friend's confused look he explained "He found out when the baby was born... he came to visit and saw the baby's eyes. That's also when I found I was the father, myself. We got married in her room there and I had a friend from the Agency back-date the wedding date to the time I was still out of the Navy. So we wouldn't have problems since Chegwidden was about to be retired and we'll be getting a new CO."

"You mean, it's already been born?"

"Yeah." Harm grinned proudly "I have a son."

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**Reviews are love.**


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